Sigh No More
by UncontrollableMelody
Summary: Its two years after the battle of Hogwarts and the light is no closer to defeating Voldemort than before; in fact, they might be losing. The world is tough, and choices are even worse. Follow Hermione as she fights her own battles. Will she win? Can she?
1. Chapter 1

_**AN: I do not own Harry Potter, although that would make paying for college a lot easier =) **_

Sigh No More Chapter One

It's empty in the valley of your heart

"_Do you think it will always be like this?" Harry asked me, his emerald green eyes seemed dimmer than they usual were. We were sitting outside our tent, somewhere in the America's. The surrounding area was filled with trees and the ground was covered in their fallen leaves and pine needles. We had been in this camp spot for almost two weeks meaning it was going to be time to leave soon. It was going to be sad; we had some nice times here. Peaceful times. _

_ "I think it will get better soon. It can't stay like this forever." I gave him a small smile, wondering if that small lie would come to bite me in the ass._

_ "We've been on the run for two years Mione. We've only destroyed one of the horocruxes. Were almost twenty for God's sake. I haven't seen Ginny since last summer, and Ron is gone." _

_ "It'll get better Harry, it has too." I insisted, forcing myself not to cry when he mentioned Ron. We had lost him the year before when we had visited the Weasley's. Somehow the death eaters had figured out what we were doing and the place was surrounded. A killing curse was fired at Ginny, and Ron jumped in front of it to save his little sister. It was quick, so fast I almost didn't see it happening. _

_ "I don't know how much longer I can live like this. Ginny had our son and I haven't even seen him yet! Voldemort-"_

_ "Harry no!" I shouted, but it was too late. Loud cracks filled the air as the death eaters were given our exact location. We had been very careful not to say his name since we were informed on the death eaters spell to be taken to whoever had spoken it out loud. I quickly magicked our supplies into my bag, shoving them into Harry's arms. "Run! Go to the next spot we had talked about, leave me a clue that only I can figure out and I'll find you."_

_ "I'm not leaving you!" He had his wand drawn, ready to fight._

_ "You need to. I'll be fine I promise. You can't get caught Harry, it'll be the end." His already dark eyes seemed to lose more of their light as he nodded. He gave me a quick hug, and then was gone. _

_ "Well well well, what do we have here? Could it be Harry Potter's little Mudblood?" I shivered in disgust as I heard that voice. The voice that had laughed while I had been tortured by his sister-in-law in his house. I turned around and looked at Lucius Malfoy. He was startling handsome for how evil he was, it seemed almost unfair. His white-blonde hair was still at his shoulders and didn't show any signs of receding. He was dressed in the best robes, and his face didn't show anything like struggle or hardness on his features. I sighed at the injustice of life. _

_ "Hello Lucius, I can see that you're looking well." I said calmly, smiling a little when I saw how much it irritated him that I called him by his name. _

_ "Given yourself up to protect Potter?"_

_ "Who said anything about giving up?" I retorted before I sent three curses in rapid succession to the men standing next to him. They fell easily enough so I turned my attention back to the hardest of the lot. His smirk was the last thing I saw. _

I awoke to pain. More pain than I should have from just a curse from Lucius. I was lying on hard wood floor, in a brightly lit room. I didn't open my eyes yet and kept my breathing steady; the key to staying alive was listening to them while they thought I wasn't aware of what was going on around me. There were at least three people in the room with me; two of them were Malfoy's.

"I think that killing her would be a waste." Draco Malfoy's voice was soft, but strong.

"A waste of what? She's already Mudblood-the biggest waste of all." Bellatrix Lestrange's harsh voice hit my ears hard. I couldn't stop my body from flinching at the sound of my previous torturers voice.

"I think she's waking up, we need to make a decision." Lucius drawled, as if he was already bored with the conversation.

"I want her." Malfoy's said, as if his request wouldn't be denied.

"For what? She's a filthy Mudblood-"

"Yes yes I know. But I want her. She pretty to look at, and I've been bored lately." Someone was walking closer to me, they stopped at my side. "I'm keeping her; make sure everyone knows she's mine. I don't like other people touching my things."

"I'm not sure the Dark Lord will appreciate-"

"The Dark Lord will give me this. I've been a very faithful and deserving servant. I've already asked him anyways." Malfoy picked me up roughly; I could tell that we were walking away by how much pain my body was in.

"What are you going to do with her?" Bellatrix laughed.

"Whatever I want." Was his reply before I promptly passed out again.

_The sun was setting over the water, casting out brilliant colors of blue, yellow, orange, and pink. It was reflected in the rippling ocean, causing the scene to become even more beautiful._

_ "How can there still be things this lovely when everything is so wrong?" I wondered aloud, eyes glued to the sky. Ron had slipped his arms around me so I leaned into him, closing my eyes so that I could capture this moment in my mind forever._

_ "Your still lovely." He whispered in my ear before placing a soft kiss there. I smiled, tilting my face up towards his._

_ "Sweet talker." I accused, kissing him._

_ "No, it's the truth. Sometimes I feel like it's too much-you being with me. I don't understand how I get to have something so perfect." _

_ "I'm not perfect Ronald." I huffed, but didn't pull away from him. These moments were few and far between now._

_ "You are for me." Was all he said before kissing me again. I melted into him for a second before pulling away. _

_ "Have you been reading that book Fred and George gave you?" He laughed at my suggestion before looking at the sunset again._

_ "No. I wonder how Ginny is. The last time I saw her was when we visited and she told us all that her and Harry were going to have a kid. Merlin, my baby sister having a baby." He shook his head to get his hair out of his eyes. I reached out to fix it, thinking about how I was going to have to cut it again soon._

_ "I know. It's strange to think that they are going to be parents. We're so young, yet so old at the same time. I'm a bit jealous to be honest." I admitted, sure my cheeks were bright red. _

_ "You want a baby?" his blue eyes were focused on my brown ones intently, waiting for my answer._

_ "A baby would be nice. But I don't think that I could leave you or Harry, and the baby wouldn't be safe with me because I'm as wanted as you two are." I tried to smile but couldn't quite manage it. _

_ "If you want a baby Mione, I'll give you one. I wouldn't mind having a little girl who looks just like you." _

_ "It's too dangerous." I shook my head, my heart clenching at what he was offering to give me._

_ "We would find a way, the order would help us." He tilted my head up to meet his own. "Do you want a baby with me Hermione?" I let the question hang there for a few minutes, contemplating what he was asking me. Of course I wanted a baby with Ron; he was the love of my life. I wanted a little person with red hair and blue eyes that called me Momma, someone I read to at night and held when they cried. I wanted to always have that connection to him, but not in these dark times. It wasn't worth the risk, right? _

_ "I've never wanted anything as much as I want that." The words were out of my mouth before I even realized it, and his smile lit up his face._

_ "Then we'll have one." Was all he said before capturing my lips. We stayed on that hill for a long time, making plans for where I would go during the pregnancy and what it would look like. _

_ "What are you two doing out here? It's freezing!" Harry surprised the both of us, making me jump. _

_ "Guess what mate!" Ron's grin was so wide it looked like it hurt, and I'm sure my own matched his._

_ "What?" smiles were contagious, and Harry caught ours when we told him our plans._

_ "That's great Mione! You're going to be a wonderful Mum." He patted Ron's back. "Now all you two have to do is get married." _

_ "We already did." Ron said sheepishly. At Harry's upset look he rushed on. "We got married right after we left Hogwarts in private because we didn't want to make a big deal about it, or draw more attention to my family. We figured the fewer people who knew about it the safer they were." _

_ "So you've been married for a whole year?" Harry looked at me, hurt clearly in his eyes._

_ "Well…yes." _

_ "Where's your ring?" _

_ "It's the one on my thumb," I looked at the simple Celtic knot that was engraved on my wedding ring, knowing the words in scripted on the inside by heart. 'til the sun grows cold and the stars grow old'. Ron had picked it out for me himself, and I had picked 'Doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love' for Ron's. "we didn't want it to be obvious, so we both got thumb rings." _

_ "Why didn't you tell me?" he was still obviously hurt by our secret._

_ "We didn't want you to have to keep anything from Ginny," Ron shrugged. "Plus you kinda have a big mouth." At that Harry lunged at him and they wrestled playfully. I watched with a smile on my face, wishing every day could end so nicely. _When I woke up this time it was on top of a soft bed, the lights were dimmed, and a fire was keeping the room comfortably warm. I let out a tiny sigh, enjoying the moment of peace while I had it. I had learned not to take these little things for granted anymore. The bed shifted to the left of me and I turned quickly, remembering where I was. Draco Malfoy sat on the bed with a book, looking for all the world like it was completely normal for me to be in his bed.

"How long have I been out?" I asked, wincing. My voice was husky and raw, my throat burned.

"A few days if my father brought you here directly after he cursed you, which I think he did. There's a glass of water on the night table." He told me, not taking his eyes off of his book. I watched him for a few more seconds, wondering why I was in his room, before grabbing the water and drinking it slowly. The burn in my throat subsided and I let out a hum of contentment.

"Thank you." I mumbled, still unsure if I should be thanking him or not.

"You're welcome." He closed the book and set it on the night stand next to him, his long, elegant fingers folding to rest on top of his lap. "I'm only going to tell you this once Granger, so listen good. It's much too dangerous to repeat, and you need to not think about what I'm about to tell you after very much, or it will be over."

"What will be over?" I frowned, sitting up in his bed.

"Any bit of happiness or dignity you manage to keep while I have possession of you." He rolled his eyes at my scowl. "Look, it's either I take you, or you get stuck in the dungeons and you're up for grabs. Anyone is fair game down there."

"Up for grabs for what?" I shook my head as a horrible thought hit me, even they wouldn't do that right? My blood is filthy to them-_I_ am filthy to them.

"Anything they want Granger. More than likely you would have been raped numerous times, tortured, humiliated." He glared at his door before his face became a mask of arrogance again.

"Why do you care?" I didn't say it to be mean, or ungrateful, I just didn't understand why that would matter to him. Or why he would help, or what his help entailed.

"Think what you want Granger, but I don't hate you." His ice blue eyes were staring at me intently. "I don't want to see you put through that, regardless of your blood status. I went to school with you, I grew up with you, and I don't want to see that happen. It was hard enough to watch my Aunt torture you the first time, I don't want to do something stupid and get us both killed should that happen again."

"What…what did you mean earlier when you said any bit of happiness or dignity I keep with you?" I tilted my head, studying his aristocratic features. Ron was a pureblood and handsome, but it wasn't the same as Malfoy's. His looks spoke of a long line of pureblooded ancestors, all molded together from the perfect stock.

"If I am going to keep you, there are certain things that are going to have to happen." He paused for a long moment, probably trying to figure out how to word what I had already guessed at. "You will stay in my quarters unless I take you out, you will not try and starve yourself to death, or try and harm me, is that clear? If you can't agree on that then this isn't going to work and I might as well take you to the dungeons myself."

"Why would it matter if I tried to starve myself?" I would never do that, ever. If I was alive, there was a chance of escape, which meant I could find and help Harry.

"It would draw attention to you. It's best if you are in the back of everyone's minds, forgotten. So, can you do that?"

"I won't try and hurt you or starve myself." He was trying to do me a favor after all, and it would be stupid to upset him when he was the only person on my side.

"Good. Now, I'm going to ask you some questions, and you're going to be honest with your answers." His tone left no room for disagreement, and I remembered that he was heir to a huge estate and a name that held huge amounts of respect throughout the Wizarding world, especially now. He was brought up in a different manner than anyone I had ever hung around, which meant that the rules weren't the same for him.

"Alright."

"Do you know where Potter is?"

"No." he continued to stare hard at me and I sighed. "I really don't know where he is Malfoy. I told him to go to a spot we both knew, and then leave if I didn't make it there after a time." He seemed satisfied by my response and nodded.

"Are you a virgin?" my cheeks reddened at his question and I looked away.

"No."

"How many people Granger?" at his question I looked up at him and frowned. His expression had turned to one of slight disappointment and his mask was cold.

"How many people what?"

"How many people have you had sex with?" my mouth dropped open and I quickly snapped it shut at the amused spark in his eyes.

"I don't really see why that's important. But one." He nodded as if he had been expecting that answer.

"It was Ron Weasley right?"

"Yes." My heart missed a beat as he said his name, bringing up a fresh wave of pain that didn't seem to ever leave me for long.

"You gave up your virginity to the Weasel?" he sounded skeptical and I glared.

"I gave up my virginity to my _husband_." I lifted my head up, not ashamed to defend my dead lover. No one, and I mean _no one_, would talk about him like that in front of me.

"You married him?" he seemed shocked, something I had never seen on his face before.

"Of course I married him, I loved him."

"When?"

"Right after the fight at Hogwarts." I twirled the ring on my thumb, remembering. "We kept it a secret because we didn't want his family put in an even worse spot because he married a Mudblood." The word didn't bother me anymore; it was just a stupid word. And Malfoy had called me it enough times at Hogwarts for the sting of it to eventually fade away.

"That he did. Well, now I have to change to direction of my questions, sorry." He said, but he didn't sound it at all. He actually sounded quite mad that I had married Ron.

"Ask away." I shrugged.

"Weasley died last year in a fight, right?"

"He did." I said shortly, unwilling to talk about his death with someone who didn't care about him.

"Protecting his little sister, who was pregnant with Potter's child?" I hesitated before answering the question, not wanting to put Harry, Ginny, and James in any danger. "I already know the answer; I'm just asking you to make sure you tell the truth."

"Yes, he died protecting Ginny and the baby from a killing curse." I bit out, anger slipping into my body.

"Do you have any children?" I should have expected that question, at some point or another. It was a hard question, one that brought up so much pain.

"Do I have to answer that?" I whispered.

"You do." His voice was firm, but softer than it was before, almost as if he was trying to coax the answer out of me.

"I have a child."

"Tell me about it, I need to know." He demanded.

"Ron and I were trying for a baby," I closed my eyes, pretended I was anywhere but here. "We had known I was pregnant for a few months, and were going to tell Ginny so that she could tell the family. He died, and I didn't. I was a mess after his death, and Harry took care of me for a while, until I pulled myself together. I had her on Christmas actually, early Christmas morning. It was almost like Ron was giving me a present, and it was the best present I've ever gotten. She was beautiful, her hair was a lighter brown than mine, and when she opened her eyes, all I saw were Ron's."

"What did you name here?" Malfoy asked, probably to keep me talking.

"Rose. I named her Rose because she was so lovely. Her full name is Rose Elizabeth Weasley, because Ron wanted to name a girl Elizabeth." I took a deep breath; it hurt just thinking about my little girl. "I wanted to stay with her, but it was too dangerous. I didn't want her to be a target because of me, or who her father was, or because Harry was her godfather. So I hid her, with people I trust, and I haven't seen her since she was born."

"If you could have her back, would you?" at his question I glared at him, every ounce of anger I felt was now directed at the man in front of me. For what he stood for, what he helped create, what he was a part of.

"I want my daughter more than I want anything in the world. Do you know how hard it is to know that I haven't seen her in months? That I'm missing something a mother should never miss? But I love her, and she is more important than my wants. If I never see her again and she is safe, then I'll be okay."

"If I gave you your daughter, would it please you? If I could promise you her safety?" his face didn't hold any hint of malice or cruel intentions, and I felt my heart drop.

"How could you promise that?" I demanded.

"Despite what you think, we won't harm children." He stood up. "My mother would be delighted to have a little girl in the house, she always wanted a daughter you know-"

"Rose is _my_ daughter. I won't have you bring her here just so your mother can take her from me." I cut him off, fury in my voice. I now know how Molly could seem so ferocious when battling for her children. There was something inside of me, something fierce and dangerous, when it came to my daughter. I would do anything to protect her.

"I didn't mean that, and I apologize for confusing you." He sighed. "I was only trying to make you happy, because no doubt it will be hard to find happiness with what you have to do."

"What exactly do you mean? What do I have to do?" my voice was shaking and I cursed how weak I sounded.

"From the moment I picked you up in front of my father and my aunt, you because mine. I can't marry you to give you my full protection, but believe me, I would if I could. Instead, and you'll hate this, but it's the only way, you are to become my mistress. There are certain laws that purebloods have, and being my mistress is almost as good as you being my wife. If you had your daughter with you, no one would touch her, ever."

"Mistress?" I whispered, my stomach dropping. "But I wouldn't actually be your mistress right? I mean, we wouldn't have to…you know?"

"I'm sorry Granger, but you would need to. It's an old magic that grants you protection from me, and it can't be faked." He did look a bit sorry, but not by much. In fact, he looked strangely pleased with the idea that I would be bound to him in that way.

"How long does the spell last?"

"I knew you would ask questions, and that there wouldn't be a way to keep this from you." He gave out a long sigh, as if he was tired of talking. "The spell would last forever or until I married you-which can't happen as I've already said. It also includes some small things that have to happen to ensure its continuous protection."

"Such as?"

"Children. You would be required to have my children."

"And if I say no?"

"It wouldn't matter, the spell has already begun. You drank the potion that I placed in the water next to your bed, and that's more than half of what needs to be done. I would rather not force you to my bed, but I would if I had to. I don't think you understand, I refuse to watch you tortured again. It's not good for me, and I will do anything to make sure that I don't endanger myself or my mother by doing something stupid to save you. This is my best plan, and I will follow through with it. Be prepared to get your daughter soon, because I want a happy mistress. You can stay in this room, the bathroom is right there. I'll be back here for dinner." Before I could say anything else, Malfoy walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. I stared after him in shock, wondering what the hell I was going to do, because I was not having Draco bloody Malfoy's children.

**Alright, so…should I continue with this story or not? Please review or message me to let me know what you want =) that little button at the bottom of the page that says review…yah, that's my favorite button in the entire world…it's very nice, check it out! =D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter…but oh the fun I would have had if I did.**

Sigh No More Chapter Two

The sun, it rises slowly as you walk

_I sat in my father's study in the big leather chair just like I had all of those times when I was in trouble as a child; I wasn't exactly in trouble right now considering I had only been home for a day, but I was in that chair anyways and it brought back memories of harsh words and angry sighs. _

_ "Do you know why you are here Draco?" Father looked up from the paper he had been reading for the past ten minutes while I just sat there. _

_ "No sir, I don't." I spoke clearly and kept eye contact, I'd had whole lessons on how to speak properly to people in our world, my father got especially angry when I failed to follow through on them. _

_ "How are your grades?" his eyes seemed like a mirror of my own, both filled with disappointment, only I had no idea why he was disappointed in me. _

_ "I'm top boy in my year and house Father, and I received all O's on my O.W.L's." I said proudly, it was damn hard work to get where I was and still have time to play quidditch and spend with friends. _

_ "And why are you not top in the school?" his mouth twisted up in a sneer since he already knew the answer and I resisted my urge to shrug or roll my eyes over his reaction. _

_ "Hermione Granger is top student at Hogwarts." I supplied the information easily because he already knew it, and to waste his time pretending I didn't know when we both knew I did would only result in a worse punishment. _

_ "A Mudblood is doing better in school than you, a pureblood." He looked at me like he was disgusted and it was my turn to scowl._

_ "Oh, and Lily Evans-who was also a Mudblood-wasn't the top of her class when you were in school?" The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them but I couldn't do anything besides keep my ground, if I backed down now things would go to shit. _

_ "And my father gave me the same talks I have given you." Was all he said to my outspokenness. _

_I didn't let my confusion show on my face since he didn't like that, and I immediately put up my mental blocks so that he couldn't get anything from my mind the way he used to when I was younger. _

_ "What do you want me to do? I've been studying in all of my free time besides quidditch practice, and she doesn't do anything besides study. If it is what you want then I will stop quidditch and focus solely on my studies." I offered even though it would kill me to give up the sport, it was what helped me relax and get all of my tensions or troubles out of my system._

_ "No, you're good at Quidditch son and I enjoy watching you play as does your mother. I just want you to do better, do you understand?" He looked back down at his paper and I frowned, wondering what the hell was going on-my father was not understanding or kind. _

_ "I understand." I made to stand up and when he didn't object I did, walking towards the door._

_ "To make sure that you do go have a lesson with your Aunt tonight after dinner, when your mothers out. It needs to be at least an hour." I turned around to see that he was still reading that damn paper and scowled at him; I left the room without replying. _

_My lessons with my Aunt Bellatrix consisted of her casting Crucio and I tried to defend myself against it. It wasn't hard to deflect the unforgivable curse in the beginning of the 'lesson', but after repeatedly using my energy to defend myself from physical and mental attacks I started blocking the curse infrequently until I couldn't anymore. I wouldn't have liked her anyways if she hadn't agreed and enjoyed giving me my stupid lessons; my mother's sister was a lunatic that needed to be locked up again. Unfortunately the Dark Lord needed her for some ridiculous reason and so here she was in my house, strolling around like she was better than me when in all reality __**I**__ was her better. She hated me as well, for when I had been unable to block my thoughts before she heard me loud and clear every time she invaded my mind. I was getting stronger and better at keeping the curse from hitting me more than twice, but those two times were still excruciatingly painful. When the hour was up she gave me a mocking curtsy, her crazy smile causing goosebumps to cover my skin. _

"_You're getting better nephew, have you been practicing?" she asked, putting away her wand. _

"_Only with you, Aunt." I gave her a small bow, knowing how important 'courtesy' was to her. Proper manners for purebloods and all that bullshit. _

"_Well, I am the best teacher. Soon you will start learning how to perform Crucio yourself." _

"_When do you suppose that will be? I doubt I'll need it, I'm not really doing anything like that yet and Father says that I'm not going to be involved until I turn 17." At that she laughed, as if I had said something funny when I hadn't. I hated her._

"_Draco, you're sixteen now, in your sixth year of school. The Dark Lord will be anxious for you to eagerly join His ranks. You should be proud that your family is such a strong supporter of Him, we're going to have a high place after He wins." _

"_I am proud." Easy words to say, yet as I get older it becomes increasingly harder to mean. I'm not proud of my family and what we are doing, what they want me to stand for. I think it's pointless to punish me because Granger is smarter than I am; I have grudgingly accepted this fact in the six years I had been in school with the muggle born. Everything that my father taught me growing up didn't apply to her, and I couldn't really understand why he hated her so much. Sure, she was an annoying, know it all, bossy twit sometimes, but other than that she was fine. In fact, she was very talented magically and intellectually-something that pureblood's wanted all of their children to be. The only thing that matters to me is magical ability and intelligence, and if my family wasn't so bloody crazy I would probably try and catch her attention. _

I left Granger in my room with her mouth hanging open at my last statement, probably still trying to wrap her brain around that little piece of information I shared with her earlier. I would have spent more time with her after telling her all of that but I had a meeting with my mother that I wouldn't miss for the entire world. She was sitting in the library at the small oak table next to the window that overlooked her gardens; her small frame wrapped in a fine blue silk dress that matched her eyes with her long blonde hair pulled back from her face. My mother was so beautiful it always amazed me that she was in fact my mother when she didn't look much older than her only child.

"Mother," I said softly to let her know I was in the room. She turned her head to me and smiled; that smile was only for me now. She used to smile that way for my father, when things started to get bad though and he kept on supporting the Dark Lord she stopped. "Would you like some tea?"

"Thank you darling but no, I already had Tibby bring me some water and honey, my throat is a little sore." She waved towards the antique china cup on the table. I nodded and sat down across from her, letting her examine me to make sure I was still in perfect condition.

"I hope you feel better soon then." I gave her a smile; if her smiles were just for me then mine were only for her. It was like a special gift that no one else saw or knew about.

"Thank you," she took a sip of her honey water and then cleared her throat. "What's going on with this Hermione Granger? Why did you take her Draco?"

"I've always wanted her Mother," I sighed, leaning back into the chair. "If I was able to, she would be the one I would marry. Since that option has been taken from me I'm doing the next best thing to keep her safe."

"Oh, the Mistress." My mother didn't look shocked or upset; she was just trying to wrap her head around the fact that I wanted someone. She never really believed that muggle borns were filth, she just didn't have the courage to leave her family and everything she knew behind like her sister did. "But you would marry her if you could?"

"I would." I watched her closely, looking for any hint of disgust or anger. Instead, my mother's face broke out into a bright smile, her entire posture changed; she looked happy.

"Well, then I guess I should expect a grandchild soon?" I shook my head at her enthusiasm to become a grandmother, wondering if all mothers were like that.

"Soon." I promised, thinking of Rose and how I could get her back to Hermione.

_I watched my mother as she slept, scared of how breakable she looked in that moment. While my mother would never stand up to my father for herself or ever leave him, she wasn't weak. She stood up for me on multiple occasions when she believed he was too hard or ruining my childhood, she never backed down when it came to her son. This wasn't the first time that they had tried to have another child; once when I was little and didn't understand where my little brother or sister had went, another when I was ten and didn't really pay that much attention to my mother, and now in my fifth year. She had lost another baby, this one so close to being a little person, a little Malfoy. I had hoped and prayed for my mother to be able to keep this one, she always wanted a little girl, but hoping for it did nothing. She was broken at the moment, her walls down as she slept and thought that no one would see her weakness. _

_ "You shouldn't stare Draco," she whispered, surprising me. "It's rude." Her chastisement was softened by a smile, albeit a small one._

_ "Was it a girl this time?" I responded with a tough question, I always thought it was better to have the tough parts of a conversation come first; it was like having a band aid ripped off, always easier the faster you did it. _

_ "She was lovely…so lovely Draco." She sniffed hard, closing her eyes to stop her tears from falling._

_ "Don't do that-don't pretend or hide around me. I've never done that with you." She kept her face turned from mine anyways and I sighed, gently laying my hand over both of hers. "If you can't be yourself in front of me Mum, then where are you going to let it all out?" _

_ "You haven't called me Mum since you were six years old, did you know that?" she said instead, her blue eyes meeting mine. I stared into them, past the water that filled and spilled over the lids. Girls always told me how lovely my eyes were, how the ice seemed to warm them up instead of freeze them; but I would have rather had my mother's eyes-they were the type of blue that made you think of beautiful summer days or oceans that you could swim in and never drown. _

_ "You've always been my Mum, it's just that…that year father had me punished for still calling you Mum, so I don't say it in front of him, and I try not to say it in case I slip up. I didn't want him to punish you for it as well." Her already pale face lost the rest of its color and I frowned. "It's okay, I still call you Mum when I think of you, and it wasn't really the worse punishment I've ever gotten."_

_ "I just wish that you could always call me Mum, that you could be who you are without ever having to hide how beautiful you are inside or out. I want to be able to see you smile when you want to, and actually laugh at something you find funny." Her voice was wobbly and it made my heart clench to see my mother so upset. _

_ "Tell me what she looked like…tell me about her." I pleaded, for myself as much as her; my sibling had lived for two whole days before dying, but it was a whole two days longer than the others had been alive._

_ "I named her Stella Marie Malfoy, because she was my little star. She shone so brightly it hurt my heart Draco, and her big, wonderful blue eyes…They made you want to lose yourself in, she just pulled at your soul. Lucius even smiled when he spent time with her-he __**smiled**__ again! But then she got sick, and the doctors couldn't tell us how or even what she caught, just that she was dying, and it was so hard to know that my little angel was going to leave me when I'd only just gotten her. I wanted you to see her before she did pass, but your father said no…so I took a picture of her, and I hid it so that I could give it to you. No matter what your father tells you Draco, you had a little sister who was strong, and lovely, and everything I had always wanted in a little girl. Don't let him trick you into thinking that girls are weak or stupid, because she wasn't." I had closed my eyes while my mother described Stella, and it hurt to think that I wasn't able to hold her or let my little sister see her brother before she passed. But then she pressed the picture into my hands, and I looked at it and into my mother's eyes staring at me in a tiny face so beautiful my chest ached, little wisps of pale blonde curls on a perfect head. Her small hand reached up and her tiny fingers were shown, and they seemed impossibly small yet perfect at the same time. _

_ "She was stunning Mum." I managed to get out through the lump in my throat; I swallowed repeatedly, trying to push back the building emotions threatening to crash through me. _

_ "If you can't be yourself around me Draco, then where can you find a place to let it all out?" she said my words back at me so gently that I knew it wasn't a joke, and when I looked up from my dead sisters photograph her arms were opened for me and I moved without really knowing what I was doing, only feeling like everything would be okay once her arms were wrapped around me. Her fingers played with me hair, rubbed my back, held me tight to her chest as we cried together for the little girl that would never know how much we loved her because we never got the chance to show her. We cried because we were stuck in a life full of constant pretending to be people we weren't, and were surrounded by people and ideals that we hated. I cried because I had to hide my love for my mother from everyone except for her, how my father's choices had led us down a path that no one wanted to follow including him. I found myself crying just because I could do so freely in that moment with someone else, a person who I could trust with my very soul and did on a daily basis. _

_ "I'm sorry Mum, I'm so sorry." I sobbed over and over into her neck, not attempting to keep control. She didn't say anything back, but she didn't have to. Her holding on to me, rocking her fifteen year old son who was taller and bigger than she was like he was a little boy again said more than her words ever could have. _

I had planned on eating dinner with Granger tonight, but things often change in my house when something happens that involves the war. Tonight it was something that turned out to be completely irrelevant to anything of importance and instead of the Dark Lord rewarding someone with a word of praise or a bauble of some sort, they received a quick death. I watched the entire scene with a blankness I had perfected over the last few years. I was able to watch and pay attention without really seeing what was going on, and no one ever seemed to notice that I wasn't actually _there_ all the way. It was the only escape I could make without getting my family killed, the one escape that I was permitted to make because no one knew about it. When the Dark Lord finally dismissed us it was half past seven and I was starved, which meant that Granger was hungry as well. I had made it very clear that no one or thing was supposed to enter my rooms without me there as well, so there would have been no way for her to eat anything; if I would have sent a house elf up to her then someone dangerous might guess as to what lengths I would go to protect her. It would be another target to get to me, and I didn't want to risk her life like that. I went to the kitchens immediately after leaving the once magnificent ballroom and instructed the house elves to bring a large meal up to my room with a bottle of sparkling pink lemonade, then headed to my rooms. Once I reached the door I stopped, making sure to collect myself and perfect my appearance before walking in the room. Granger had been reading a book and jumped when I had arrived, promptly losing her page as the book fell to the ground with a loud thump. She blushed but took her time picking it up, letting me know that she wasn't going to apologize for touching my things without permission.

"I'm sorry that it took so long for me to come for dinner, I was held up in something and wasn't able to make arrangements for a meal to be brought up to you." At my apology her brow furrowed with confusion, and she tilted her head slightly as she seemed to be studying me. I raised an eyebrow and sighed, making my way to the table I had in the next room.

"I'm used to not eating much or for long periods of time, so it wasn't a big deal." She brushed off my words quiet neatly, effectively dismissing my apology in her own mind by her lack of need for food.

"Right, how could I forget? It must have been difficult to eat on a regular basis when you were on the run, especially with Potter-not the brightest spark in the wand now is he?" her eyes flashed dangerously and I nodded. "You expect me to be an arse all the time, yet when I am nice you brush it off as nothing. You only respond to me when I'm rude. What do you want Granger?" I quickly dismissed the house elf after it had set our plates and the bottle of lemonade on the table, wanting this discussion to stay between the two of us.

"You **are** an arse Malfoy, you've been one since we met when we were eleven-don't try and change now on my account." She bit back, looking at the plates in front of her, trying to figure out where to start. She put some salad on her plate first, grabbed two slices of French bread, and then put a good sized portion of chicken alfredo on her plate. I poured our drinks before serving myself, letting her words sink into my mind before answering.

"I've been expected to be a certain way since the day I was born Granger. There were expectations placed on my shoulders when I couldn't even talk yet that you will never understand, so don't pretend for one second that you know who I am or why I act the way I do." I frowned at her, not liking her body language. She was so nice and understanding for everyone else, why not me? "I'm not a cruel person alright? I don't hate everyone or look down my nose at people because I have money. I'm not some snob, and I don't mistreat my house elves. For someone who is supposed to be accepting and kind, you sure are judgmental and rude." I stabbed at my food, taking my anger out on the plate.

"You're the one who gave off that vibe and called me all those vile names since you found out I was a Mudblood. Don't try and trick me into thinking your some nice guy Malfoy, I'm not going to fall for it."

"I'm not trying to 'trick' you about anything, and yes I called you names. You called me names; in fact, I do recall you physically assaulting me. So if were done talking about how mean I am, I'd like to discuss your daughter." Her brown eyes watched me warily when I changed the topic, but I didn't say anything more. After a long moment of tense silence she sighed loudly, fully intending on letting me know how irritated she was with me no doubt.

"What do you want to know? Where she's at? Be more specific." She said shortly, taking a bite of the bread.

"You do want her back don't you?" I kept my voice calm, neutral, I didn't want her to think that this was a big deal for me.

"You have a brain right?" She snapped at me. I set my fork on my pate abruptly, trying not to let my frustration show. She was being so damn _difficult_ when all I was trying to do was help her for Merlin's sake. "I'm sorry, that was rude. I'm just really stressed out right now and I don't really understand why you're helping me. I don't like not knowing."

"If you want to know something Granger, ask me." I continued eating, watching her when she wasn't looking. Her creamy white skin seemed a bit on the pale side compared to what I remembered of it in school, and her brown eyes weren't full of excitement anymore. Her long brown hair was tamed into gentle waves instead of the frizzy mess it was before, and her slender body spoke volumes on how little she had eaten to survive before I took her.

"It's just strange is all." She shook her head, putting her fork down gently.

"Finish eating would you? It's not healthy to be that skinny." I didn't look at her when I said it; instead I looked out the window as if something interesting was taking place out there.

"Most men prefer a small woman." She mumbled, but picked up her fork again to finish what was on her plate. "She's with some people that I won't name, and only I can pick her up. I promise I will come right back if you let me go get her."

"Would you make the unbreakable vow?" I stared at her, watching her chin tilt up with her courage and she stuck out her hand.

"Right now." I gave her a few minutes to change her mind, but she kept her arm stretched out towards my body with a grim sort of determination. I nodded my head and pulled my wand from my pocket, placing my hand in hers and positioning my wand above them.

"You know if you don't do it you die right?" I warned, wondering if I should take the risk.

"Do it."

**Sorry about the wait everyone, but here it is! Chapter two! It took me longer because I've been super busy lately—check out my profile, I explained everything on there. Also, don't forget to review please =) **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do no own Harry Potter, if I did Fred wouldn't have died, Ron and Hermione wouldn't have named their son Hugo, and I never would have stopped writing about it. **

_**Special thanks to Natalya for being a very helpful and patient Beta!**_

Sigh No More Chapter Three: Away from all the fears and all the faults you left behind

_The world stopped in that instant-there was no sound, no movement; everything was frozen. The canvas of the tent was faded from the white it had once been to the color of sea foam that had washed up and dried out on the shore. The air, filled only seconds before with the sound of birds singing to each other and to us, was silent. Harry sat beside my bed, his gem colored eyes glittering from the water that spilled onto his cheeks leaving a clear trail for more to follow. I could hear my own heart beat loudly in my ears, pounding to a surprisingly steady rhythm as I stared at the tiny being in my arms. The curve of her lips as she took her first breathes of air, how her eyes were closed tightly as she finally realized that she could make sounds. Her small rosy chest as it rapidly rose and fell from her excitement of finally being out of her cozy nest and into the open. Arms waved wildly, ten little fingers clenching and spreading out repeatedly as she wondered at how much space was now hers to move about in. I followed the slope of her stomach to the perfect dimple that graced her upper left thigh, and then followed the lines down to count her toes and was rewarded with ten more digits. Moving my eyes back to her face, I saw that she had damp brown hair that had a slight red tint to it, and it curled ever so gently across her head. After she gained the ability and the knowledge that she could, in fact, breathe in this strange new world; she opened her eyes to take in her surroundings. The first thing that she laid eyes on was her mother, as it should be. I stared into eyes that were the color of sun reflected on water, so blue that it seemed impossible. I felt the tears falling from my eyes as I saw Ron's eyes from his daughter's face and knew that he was there with me, watching his daughter, taking in everything about her just as I was. She was amazing, the most wondrous of gifts that I had ever been given. _

_ "What's her name 'Mione?" Harry rasped, voice husky from the long silence and his happiness that was burdened by sadness. _

_ "Rose Elizabeth Weasley," I whispered reverently, in the way that I reserved for prayer. "I wish that I could name her Elizabeth, but she doesn't seem like one to me. Rose just sort of came to my mind as I looked at her." _

_ "Rose…"Harry cooed to her, running a hand softly over her head in a loving gesture,"Your Daddy asked me to tell you some things in case he wasn't here to do it himself today. He wanted you to know that you're the most lovely thing to ever see the world, to always listen to your mother because she's right all of the time, never to like boys because they are disgusting, and to always believe in yourself and the love that he has for you.'" I watched my daughter take in the world with hungry eyes, like a starving man stared at the last piece of bread that he had and was about to give away. I captured every moment with her that I had, because I knew that I was going to have to leave her with someone else, someplace safe. I held out a finger for her to grab onto, and she did so tightly as if she knew that I was going to take her someplace away from me. _

_ "I love you, my angel, more than anything else in this world I love you. If there is ever a way that I can be with you I promise that I will find it. I will get you back, no matter what." I placed a longing kiss on her forehead, willing my daughter to feel how much I loved her. _

_ "I'm sorry 'Mione, but we've already spent too much time here. We need to move, and get Rose to the safe house. It's going to get harder the longer you stay with her, I know." I nodded my head reluctantly, not wanting to let my baby go. This was my last connection with my husband, the man I had loved since I was eleven years old. This was my daughter, the little being that I had helped create and had carried inside of my body for nine long months. How could I welcome her into this world by giving her away? _

I had read in a book once that in order for happiness to exist, there must be suffering. That suffering and happiness were exact opposites, and that they coexisted together in the human soul, always watching to make sure that the other gets the right amount of time. I suppose it makes sense if I wanted to make a reason for the way my life was shaping right now; my happiness at being at Hogwarts, having Harry and Ron as my best friends and learning magic. Then the war started, and so did my suffering. I married Ron and had him for almost two years before he died, and then I had Rose. My ultimate happiness had been instantly replaced with my sadness-a suffering in its own nature. I had given up my happiness to ensure its future whether I was a part of it or not. More suffering when I had been captured by the Malfoys and told what Malfoy expected from me, and then the top of my happiness-my selfishness finally come to light. I was getting my daughter back. It seemed surreal that Draco Malfoy was the reason I was going to be able to watch my daughter grow up, but I had come to a point in my life where I didn't refuse the gifts that life gave me; being able to hold my daughter in my arms again, to see her smile and hear her first words-that was definitely a gift that I didn't have the strength to refuse. At first Malfoy had tried to only give me a day to retrieve Rose, but I managed to talk him into 72 hours; a day to get there, a day to rest, and a day to get back. I was given my wand back, but it wouldn't do me much good in helping me escape. Malfoy had placed restrictions on my wand with his own magic, and I was now under his control until he took them off. It had irritated me at first, but on my long walk in a forest in North America, I started to understand why he did what he did. He placed those restrictions on my wand for my own safety as well as his, because if I tried to curse him then he would be forced to fight back, and he was better at dueling than I was-he knew darker and more dangerous spells. He didn't want to be forced into that situation, and he knew that it was in my nature to always fight back as long as I could, so he took that option away from me. When we made the Unbreakable Oath it was different than what I read about or studied; he said it was because he used an older form of the spell, and the wording was far from what I had expected it to be. A bright silver light had encased our hands, and warm tingles spread throughout my body as I said the final words to the spell as he told me to. He looked grim and I understood why-in his own way Malfoy cared about what happened to me. I didn't think for a second that he wasn't capable of great cruelness or that he had miraculously changed overnight. No, I knew that maybe he hadn't been showing **all** of what he was during Hogwarts, but I couldn't take back every bad memory I had of him, and most all of my memories involving Malfoy were bad.

I continued my journey to Rose, making sure to stop every now and again to listen to the sounds around me. I was careful to make sure that no one was following me to the hideout where Ginny and James were, and most importantly to me, with my daughter. I froze as twigs snapped slightly in front of where I was standing, drawing my wand slowly so as not to alert whoever was following me that I had heard them. I took a deep breath and continued on cautiously, trying to calm my erratic heartbeat. In an explosion of noise in what had moments before been a peaceful silence, a body flew out of the trees to the left of me and I fired a spell without waiting to see if it was friend or foe. The crumpled body of a young doe was spread out in the path I was following, her neck clearly snapped from the fall my tripping spell had created. I averted my eyes quickly, my stomach in my throat as I realized what I had done. It wasn't as if I hadn't killed before, I had killed death eaters plenty of times-but only in situations where my life was at stake. Of course I felt remorse for the lives I had taken, but I had never killed an innocent creature. I gingerly made my way past the dead animal, purposefully looking anywhere but at her body lying there in the middle of the path. I managed to keep calm until the deer was no longer in my sight, and then I couldn't stand I was shaking so much. I felt the sobs that seemed to come from a deeper part of myself; I felt as if my soul was crying out from that act of death I had carried out. For some reason that made no sense to my very knowledgeable mind, I kept crying until I couldn't anymore. But still I stayed there on the ground; my heart breaking for the life I had taken that wasn't mine to take.

_"I don't want to kill people Ronald, it doesn't seem right to me." I glared at him in the dim light of the tent. Harry was outside on watch, and Ron and I should have been sleeping but he decided he wanted to discuss my unwillingness to kill another human being._

_ "Hermione, if you don't kill them I can promise that they will kill you. I can't fight well if I'm worried about you all the time. Either you decide to fight back, or you go with Ginny." He gave my shoulders a slight shake and I pushed his hands off of me, my body tightening up in anger. _

_ "Don't give me that Ronald. We might be married but you're not the boss of what I do." I snapped, furious at him for trying to cart me off with Ginny-who was going to a safe house because she was pregnant with Harry's child. _

_"I don't know what I would do if you died 'Mione, I think I'd be lost without you. I don't want to risk ever having to be in a world where you're not there." He said quietly, touching my fingers with his own gently as if asking permission. I laced our hands together, holding onto him tightly. _

_ "I'm not going anywhere love, I promise." I whispered against his lips, and he pressed himself closer to me because everything felt better when we were together._

I made it to the safe house right before the sunset, which might have worked in my advantage if Ginny hadn't of been so damn paranoid. Her wand was in my face before I had even realized that anyone was there.

"Who are you, and why are you here?" she demanded, her blue eyes darkened with an intensity that mothers got when they were protecting their children.

"It's Hermione. I'm here to get Rose." I kept my body relaxed, to show her that I wasn't afraid of what might happen because the outcome of this couldn't be anything but good.

"What's the last thing that you said to me?" she kept her wand in my face, and I pointedly ignored it, keeping my eyes on hers.

"I said 'tell her every day how much her mother loves her, and that one day I will come back for her when everything is safe.'" Ginny lowered the wand from my face and flew into my arms, hugging me tightly.

"I thought you were dead." She cried, dragging me into the house before I had even realized that she had let me go. "Harry came by earlier this week; he said that you had given yourself up to save him after he messed up. Merlin, he was so torn up about it 'Mione! Did you come by to visit Rosie before you went to find him?"

"I actually came here to take Rose," I cleared my throat as the silence became uncomfortable. "I don't have much time to be honest. I can spend the night with you though, if you don't mind." Ginny's smile had vanished, replaced with a grim look that didn't fit her youthful face at all. Her long red hair was down to her mid-back now, and she was dressed in the current muggle fashion. Her house was elegant in its simplicity, so unlike Malfoy's bedroom that I felt the urge to laugh at how completely odd the situation was. I had given the Vow to return to the man that had tormented me during our school years, that had picked the opposite side than me during the war, and whose family had no qualms about killing me; I was going to leave Ginny and her house, my sister-in-law with the fiery spirit whom I loved so much.

"That shouldn't be a problem. It's just the kids and I since I'm trying to be inconspicuous. The neighbors like me you know, although I have to place concealment charms on my face a bit just in case." She gave me another smile, but this one wasn't half as bright as the first.

"That's lovely, Gin," I looked around the room for the one person I had ached to see every day since I last saw her. "Can I see Rose now?"

"Of course, I should have taken you to her as soon as you came in! I left them in the play pen, you know they spend all of their time together." She led me to her living room and there she was. She was three months old now, and so much had changed since the day she was born. Her hair was fuller now, had more of a red tint to the brown waves that just barely brushed her eyes. Gods her eyes, they were still that sun-on-water blue that made my heart burst and ache all at once; they were from another pair of eyes that I would never see again but would every day because I had her. She was the most beautiful thing I had seen all over again, and when her eyes met mine there was a flash of recognition.

"Rose," I said quietly, letting her name roll off of my tongue with unconcealed adoration. Rose stared to wiggle around in the pen, her arms and legs flailing wildly as she cried for something. "What does she want?" I frowned; it wounded my pride as a mother to admit that I knew nothing about my own daughter.

"She wants you 'Mione. Merlin, I've never seen her act this way. She was a bit fussy when Harry came by to visit, she remembers your voices. He held her for an hour because she cried every time he went to lay her down. She finally fell asleep in his arms and he could pick up James."

"Can I hold her?" I whispered, knowing it was ridiculous as I did because she was **my** daughter, but Ginny had taken care of her these last three months. I owed her that small request at least.

"She's your little girl, Hermione." That was all I needed. I scooped her up in my arms as if I had been doing it all these days instead of Ginny, and she quieted as we looked into each other's eyes. I wanted to take this all in like I had the day she was born, but I knew I would never leave her again.

"I'm here, Angel," I cooed rocking her ever so slightly as I stood there in the muggle living room that reminded me of my own growing up. "Momma's here, and she's never letting you go." Her plump fingers grabbed at my curls and held on tightly, as if to say 'I won't let you.'

Ginny and I sat down on the couch, our babies in our arms as we talked to one another and got caught up on everything. James was seven months; four months older than Rose. He was a handsome baby, with Harry's black hair and Ginny's blue eyes. He had a striking resemblance to his father, and I wondered if Rose had been a boy if she would have looked that much like Ron.

"So, where have you been?" She didn't wait to ask, it was the first question out of her mouth.

"I can't say. All I can tell you is that I am safe, and that Rose will be safe. No matter what happens, we'll be fine." I saw the anger creep into her eyes then, swallow up her happiness at seeing me.

"So you're just going to abandon Harry?"

"How dare you." I said, deadly calm. "I gave up my own daughter to help Harry. I lost my husband to help Harry. I had to erase my parent's memories to **help Harry**. I have given up everything to help your husband! And what are you doing Ginny? Raising your son? Your brother's daughter? Why do you get the privilege? Why should you get the right to be with your child and mine, while I'm out there risking my life to save your husband, when my husband died to save you? When do I get any happiness Ginny? Tell me." I demanded, suddenly furious. How could she accuse me of abandoning my best friend when I had given up so much in the process of helping him? It wasn't my choice to leave him, I would never do that. I loved Harry like he was my brother, and I hated Malfoy for taking me away from him. But the hard fact was that I couldn't be there for him, I had to go back. And if I couldn't be with Harry, then I was going to be with Rose.

"I'm sorry Hermione. I shouldn't have said that. You're right; you have given up more than I have to help Harry. You've lost so much, while I've only gained from being married to him. I'm in no position to judge you." I wanted to leave with Rose then and there, but I couldn't. It was already dark and I wasn't prepared to travel all through the night to get back to where Malfoy wanted me to meet him. I could have spent the night in a hotel, but Ginny lived in a remote area surrounded by trees and twenty or so odd neighbors. There wasn't a hotel around for thirty miles, and I couldn't subject Rose to that.

"Yeah." I simply said, not sure if I could find anything nice to say after that. "I think that I need to go to bed." She gave me a sad smile, knowing the damage that she had caused in that one sentence.

"Sure, it's down the hall to the left. Rosie's bed is in the room across the hall. You can move it into the guest bedroom if you want."

"Do you have an owl here?" I asked as I stood up, my sleeping daughter cradled in my arms.

"I do. He's in the laundry room right now. You can use him if you like." I nodded and made my way to the guest bedroom, suddenly exhausted. I moved the oak crib into the bedroom from Rosie's room, and set her down in it softly so that I wouldn't wake her. I looked around until I found some paper and a pen, and started writing.

Malfoy,

I don't have any furniture or clothes for Rose. If you are serious about what you want to do, then you'll take care of it. If you do, I won't put up a fight about it. I'll do what you want, as long as you continue to provide for Rose.

I didn't sign the letter because he knew who it was from. It wouldn't make any sense to anyone who didn't know his plans, and they wouldn't know that I had left the manor. It should reach him by the morning and he would have plenty of time to get everything that Rose would need by the time I was supposed to be back with her. I sent the letter with Ginny's owl and went back into the bedroom, getting ready to sleep. A light knock on the door stopped me from crawling into the bed, and I sighed as I went to open it. Ginny was standing there, a book in her hands and outstretched to me.

"I took a lot of pictures of both of them for you and Harry. I didn't want you two to feel as if you had missed out on anything. I figured you should have it now, since you're taking her tomorrow I assume?" I tried to stay mad at her, I really did. But there were tears in her eyes because in a way, Rose was hers as well.

"I'll stay until lunch, and then we have to go. I have to get somewhere by a certain time." I relented, pulling her in for a hug. "I don't blame you for my pain Ginny. I could have done anything I wanted, and I chose the path that I walked."

"I know, but I still shouldn't have said that. Did you…find someone new?" the words stuck in her mouth, sounded like she was chewing on chalk.

"Never. There will always only be Ron." I said firmly, feeling slightly sick at what I had just promised to give Malfoy.

"If there was, I wouldn't blame you. You deserve to be happy Hermione. Ron would want that." She nodded her head, as if that would make me believe her.

"Thank you Ginny. I'll see you in the morning okay? I had a pretty long day."

"Alright, if you need anything, you know where I am." I closed the door and climbed into bed, sleep claimed me before I could go over the day's events.

_"What do you think she will look like, assuming it's a girl that is?" Ron asked me one day, his hand resting lovingly on my barely curved stomach. _

_ "I don't really know, maybe she'll have my eyes and your hair? I hope she has your hair, Merlin knows mine would be a curse." I laughed to disguise my comment as a joke, but I was being serious. I really hoped our child didn't have my hair, I would feel awful if they did. I had spent half of my childhood being teased because of my frizzy, curly, bushy hair and I hated it. _

_ "I love your hair. If it's a girl, I think she'll look exactly like you. Your brown eyes, your lips, that nose." He placed a loud kiss on the tip of my nose, rubbing his hand on my belly in soothing circles. _

_ "But what about you? What will she has that's yours?" I frowned; I wanted our child to be a bit of both of us combined._

_ "Probably the red hair. Weasleys always have red hair." He grinned at me before he playfully shook his shaggy hair at my face. I managed to shove his head out of my face and keep him close to me at the same time. We were lying side by side on a grassy hill; the sun warmed our bodies as the wind kept us cool and comfortable. It was the kind of day where the sky was so light of a blue it seemed impossible, and the clouds were the giant puffy kind that made you want marshmallows and ice cream. _

_ "What if it's a boy?" I asked. "Would he look more like you?" _

_ "Probably, but I bet he'd have your eyes still. I hope they all have your eyes, they're the best view."_

_ "That definitely came out of that blasted book Fred and George gave you!" I rolled over in laughter at his corny line, glad that he had said it. He was laughing along with me, not minding in the least if I didn't turn to goo at his words of romance. _

_ "You caught me, I read it a while ago and wanted to see if it worked." He pulled me close to him once more, this time placing his head on my legs. _

_ "Maybe it might have worked on a girl who didn't know you well enough to know that you wouldn't say something like that." I ran my fingers through his hair, enjoying how soft it was as it fell through my fingers. _

_ "Do I ever make you feel like the best thing that's ever happened to me?" his blue eyes were serious, and slightly closed to block the sun. _

_ "You make me feel loved, and special, and beautiful." He caught my free hand with both of his and placed them on my stomach, his covering mine. _

_ "That's because you already __**are**__ all of those things, and for being the smartest person I've ever met, you sure are oblivious to the fact that you are beautiful, loveable, and special." I closed my eyes, not for the first time wishing that we were just a random couple, excited and scared at the thought of having their first child together. _

_ "Say you'll go with Ginny when you have the baby. Tell me that you've changed your mind and you're going to raise our child no matter what happens." His pleading snapped me back into reality, making me a bit irritated that I had missed my chance to doze off. _

_ "I can't promise you that Ron. I don't want to leave you or Harry, and besides, you know I won't be able to sit there and take care of the baby while you and Harry risk your lives." _

_ "So we're just going to let Ginny raise our child?" His grip on my hand grew tighter, and I'm sure my fingers were rougher than necessary as I continued to play with his hair. _

_ "Until we've finished what we started then yes. It shouldn't take that much longer Ron; we all know that it's coming to an end." _

_ "No, we don't know that. This whole bloody mission of ours wasn't even supposed to take this long and you know it! Things aren't going the way we planned them too." _

_ "They aren't, but things will be alright. They have to be alright; otherwise I don't think I can live with bringing another person into this kind of life. That's why I have to be there with you Ron; I have as much of a right to make sure that our child lives in a world where it's okay to be his or herself. Where it won't matter that its mother is a muggle and its father is a Weasley." _

_ "I want that now." He sighed, dropping the subject for now by moving so that we were face to face. "If it's a girl, we should name her Elizabeth." _

_ "Why are you so set on having a girl? Most guys want boys, miniature copies of themselves to carry on the bloodline and all that." I rolled my eyes, amused by his fixture of having a little girl._

_ "I have five brothers 'Mione, I'm not worried about the bloodline." He kissed me sweetly. "I want a little princess; a miniature you. I want to be able to show you both off to the world and rub it in everyone's faces how lucky I am. Yes, if we have a girl Hermione, let's name her Elizabeth."  
><em>

**So sorry if I confused anyone here, but the writing style in this story is going to be as much in the past as it is in the present. I hope you all enjoyed the memories that Hermione had with Ron, and also with Rose! She sounds like she's adorable =) I'm sorry about the wait for this chapter, but I was really busy and didn't have much time to spend with my family during my break. So, let me know what you thought about this chapter by leaving me a review or a message!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, props to J.K. Rowling on that matter! **

**Special thanks to my amazing Beta Natalya! She always makes sure that these chapters come out as soon as possible!**

Sigh No More Chapter Four: Cause I have other things to fill my time

I sighed as I made my way through my rooms, trying not to roll my eyes as my mother fussed and changed something in the baby's room for the millionth time.

"You know she probably won't want you to have anything to do with her daughter." I told her, not wanting my mother to get her hopes high just to have them crushed.

"I know that, but I thought that maybe if I got to know her first that she would open up to me." She shrugged, still focused on Rose's crib. "Do you think that she will like this?" she motioned to the room, taking a step back. I looked at it, taking in the soft pinks and creams that colored the walls and dominated the room.

"She might, I'm really not sure. I don't know much about her tastes in décor." I admitted, going back into my main room.

"You should get to know her Draco, she's not just going to let you bed her you know." My mother gave me a hard stare and it was my turn to shrug.

"She wrote in the letter that if I got Rose anything she needed or might want that she would fulfill her part of the spell." I ignored my mother's glare as I went into my closet to find a bag.

"You can't treat her that way, darling," she said as I came back into the nursery. "You told me earlier that if you could marry anyone it would be her. I've been thinking about that, and I'd like to know why." I shook my head at her question and pulled out the stuffed unicorn I had picked up for Rose on my trip to Diagon Alley earlier, placing it in the middle of her bed.

"I suppose I would have liked to marry her because I admire who she is. She's intelligent, good-looking, confident in her abilities, and she's such a nice person. Maybe it's because I watched her with her friends, and wanted someone who cared about others that much." I shrugged, a little uncomfortable with where this conversation was going.

"Those are good reasons." She smiled gently at the room she was in, obviously thinking about Stella. "Well, just take good care of them now Draco. They are your girls, whether or not they want to be."

"I know, nothing will happen to them." I promised, closing the nursery doors after we left to go to lunch.

"What time are you picking her up?" I looked around the halls to make sure that we were alone before answering.

"After lunch, and hopefully she'll be there." At my mother's sharp look I explained. "I told her that she would have to say an Unbreakable, but I didn't actually make one. I didn't want to take the chance that she might choose to die than come back here and be with me. So I faked one, because I knew she had never done one before. I preformed wandless wordless spells to mimic the way the spell was supposed to behave when it was cast. I don't think she noticed really."

"You should tell her that when she gets back," was all she said before her entire posture changed. Her back went stiff, her head was raised high, and her eyes were cold. I took a deep breath before placing my own mask of arrogance on and followed her into the dining room.

"I thought I was going to have to eat with your sister by myself Narcissa." My father was sitting at the head of the table, his plate already made. Bellatrix was sitting on his left hand side, and my mother sat in the chair to his right. I sat at the foot of the table, not really wanting to sit beside my mother or my aunt at the moment.

"Oh, I didn't realize that we were late. I was talking to Draco about a party I was thinking about throwing-I always value his opinion on those types of things you know." My mother was good at lying; she spent her whole life mastering the art. Father just nodded his head, not thinking that his wife would do anything but tell him the truth.

"The Dark Lord will be invited?" Bellatrix smoothed out her dress, trying to sound like it was just another question. I resisted the urge to shudder at my aunt's infatuation with him; after the Battle of Hogwarts the Dark Lord was able to get his hands on a spell that returned him to his former glory, which meant that he no longer looked like some evil creature. I think looking into red eyes in his otherwise handsome face made him slightly worse for me to converse with, but I hid it well.

"Of course he will be invited Bella," father scowled at his sister-in-law. "We're his most faithful servants, he enjoys our parties."

"That's nice." Bellatrix went back to eating her lunch, trying to hide her crush on her master.

"I wonder when the Dark Lord will find a bride?" mother said casually, watching for her sister's reaction.

"I don't suppose he really needs one yet." I added to the conversation. If I was too quiet then they would become suspicious of my actions, and that wouldn't be in my best interest at the moment.

"He's actually looking for one," Father said in a hushed tone, as if this was some juicy detail that not many people knew. Well, it probably was, but I didn't care. "He wants a nice pureblood girl, and he wants to get an heir off of her as soon as possible."

"That's lovely." Mother ended the conversation as simple as that, not interested in the Dark Lord's wife hunting progress.

"How are your assignments going, Draco?" Father asked randomly, catching me off guard.

"I have a few more things to do for him, and then I'm done." I took a drink from my cup, not tasting anything. "I should be finished by summer."

"He's very proud of you," Bellatrix gave me a glare. "You should know he speaks very highly of your accomplishments and abilities to everyone else."

"That's good." Was all I could think of, slightly disturbed that he mentioned me at all. "If you'll excuse me, I have business to attend to." When my father nodded his head I stood up and left, anxious to pick up Hermione and see Rose.

_"Did you find her?" Blaise panted, his face streaked with dirt. I shook my head as I tried to catch my own breath, wincing as the cut on my side opened again. _

_ "I couldn't find her anywhere. I looked at all the fallen and at least I know she isn't dead." _

_ "I didn't see her on the battlefield anywhere if that makes you feel any better. I think the three of them escaped when they realized that the battle wasn't in their favor. That last leg was a distraction for them to get out of here I think." I took a long look at my best friend, glad that he was on my side. He had a quick, calculating mind that took in everything. For Blaise and I, there wasn't a 'Dark' or 'Light' side; there was 'Our' side, which meant living. We were a team and always would be, we were blood brothers. _

_ "I hope so; I don't want to think about what he would do to her if he caught her." _ _I closed my eyes for a moment to stop the coldness that was creeping into my stomach; my whole body seemed to ache. _

_ "It's going to turn out fine, mate, I know it." Blaise straightened up and I followed suit, dreading the next part of the battle. We were to clean up and meet everyone at my manor for a 'celebration', because killing teenagers was now counted as a victory. _

_ "How many did he take prisoner?"_

_ "About four or five I think, I'm not really sure Draco. I didn't stick around to watch them put up a fight when he gave them the option to surrender." _

_ "I wouldn't surrender." I said fiercely, body tense._

_ "You already did mate." He informed me sadly, his deep brown eyes darker than I had seen them in a while._

_ "No, that's where you're wrong. I'm planning brother, and once everything goes the way I plan, nothing will ever make us feel like this again." _

_ "I believe you, and I'll do whatever you need so that we see that day." He gripped my forearm tightly for a moment to seal his promise and apparated to get ready for the festivities. I stood on the grounds of the place I had lived for six years, took in the broken castle and the fires that no one had bothered to put out. The grass was littered with broken bodies and stained with blood, and the red on the ground almost matched the sun as it set. _

I had picked up Hermione and Rose in muggle London, pleased that she was already there waiting for me. Her daughter in a warm looking black peacoat with some type of black stockings and shiny black shoes. Her red-brown hair curled softly on her head and her eyes were wide and aware as she took in her surroundings; she was cute in a baby sort of way. Hermione looked tired, and I watched from afar as she couldn't tear her eyes away from her daughter's for more than a few seconds. There was a certain type of wonder on her face as she looked at Rose, and I only hoped that she would look at her future children the same way. I walked up to them quickly, not exactly comfortable being surrounded by muggles. She saw me and a laugh escaped her mouth before she could stop it.

"Oh Merlin, Malfoy, you're wearing muggle clothes!" She exclaimed, her brown eyes dancing.

"I am in muggle London; it would be highly conspicuous if I didn't." I held back my scowl, not wanting her to think I was mad at her.

"Yes but…"she let her eyes travel up and down my form. They took in my black button down dress shirt, my dark blue jeans, and the black loafers I had acquired for this occasion. "You look like any other muggle."

"That's the point." I rolled my eyes at her observation, not bothered by the fact that I could pass as a muggle if I wanted.

"Right, well, this is Rose." She lifted up her arms a bit as if I could have possibly missed the fact that there was, in fact, a child in her arms. She watched me for my reaction, and I leaned in a bit closer to get a better look at Rose's face. Her skin was the same creamy white as her mothers, and her little mouth looked like a perfect imitations of the rose petals in my mother's garden. She was lovely, but it was her eyes that caught me off guard. That brilliant blue that was so piercing it could have been magic; they were what would make this little girl beautiful.

"She's very pretty," I admitted, reaching out a hand to smooth down a stray curl. Rose lifted her little fingers and caught the sleeve of my shirt in a surprisingly strong grip, refusing to let go. I smiled at her, her touch brought on a rush of affection that I hadn't expected to feel. "Do you mind if I hold her?"

"She seems to like you," Hermione thought aloud, her brow crunched up as she decided. "Would you mind waiting until we arrived back at the manor? It's not that I don't trust you, I've just only gotten her back."

"I understand," I gently pulled my shirt out of Rose's fingers and motioned for Hermione to follow me. "There's an alley over there that no one seems to be paying attention to, I can apparate us back then."

"Thank you." She said quietly, pressing her lips to Rose's forehead.

"Right, well, let's go."

When we were back at the manor and in my rooms, she seemed tense, and I knew it was because she was worried about whether this was all just some sick plan to take away her daughter. I let out a small sigh, wishing that it wasn't this difficult to get her to trust me.

"Would you like to see her room? My mother decorated it for Rose." Hermione just nodded, keeping Rose held close to her body as if that could stop me if I wanted to take her. I opened the doors to the nursery and heard her gasp. I led her in the room and watched her eyes fill with tears as she took in the soft pastels of the color scheme, the stuffed animals everywhere, the oak wood crib and changing station, and the beautiful rocking chair in the corner that my mother managed to find on such short notice. She walked over to the crib and picked up the little stuffed unicorn I had picked out myself, smiling a bit when Rose reached for it.

"This is amazing, I didn't think it would be this perfect when I asked." She gave me a long look, trying to figure me out.

"My mother loves babies, and she was excited to say the least when she found out you were bringing Rose here. She wanted her to have the best."

"That was very kind of her." Hermione glanced at Rose again, the Unicorn now firmly in her hands. "Would you like to hold her?" she made to hand over Rose before I answered and I quickly held out my arms before she could change her mind. I had thought babies would be heavier, but Rose felt like nothing in my arms. She leaned her head back against my chest, right between my shoulder and my neck with the little stuffed animal lying on her stomach.

"There are clothes for her in the closet and in the dresser there," I said because I didn't like the look in her eyes as she watched me hold Rose. "And in my closet there are clothes for you as well. I added on another room to my quarters which is now your own personal library, it has children's books if you ever want to read to her. Also-"

"When are you going to finish the spell?" she interrupted me, her voice strained.

"I hadn't really thought of that yet." I lied; I didn't want to talk about it at the moment.

"Of course you have, you're a male. That's all you guys think about. So, when am I going to be in your bed?" she demanded, a hand on her hip, eyes narrowed.

"Every night." I watched the blood drain from her face and I shook my head. "Not like that, it's just that's where you're going to be sleeping, with me." At her hard look I decided to explain further. "I want you to be comfortable around me; I don't want it to be awful for you because I don't want you to hate me. I've decided that if I let you get used to me first, and eased our way into that part of the spell, then it wouldn't be bad for either of us."

"So you want me to like you?" she rose a brow, obviously finding something off about my explanation.

"Yeah, I would like that."

"You tricked me into this whole entire thing when you gave me that drink-I can't believe I even drank anything you offered me. I wasn't thinking properly, and now you want me to _like_ you before you have sex with me?"

"It was the only way that you would do this, and the only way I could protect my mother. I'm sorry I tricked you alright, I am. But I can't change it, and I'm only thinking of you here."

"No you're not! You're thinking about the best way to get off!" her voice was raising in volume and I frowned.

"I don't think this is an appropriate conversation to be having in front of the baby." I mumbled, aggravated with the girl in front of me. She was so infuriating! I try to do something nice for her, but apparently that can't happen. Draco Malfoy is not a nice person, no matter how many nice things he does.

"Did you seriously just say that?" she laughed, confusion and amusement mixed on her features. "I can't believe you just said that. She's falling asleep anyways, put her in the crib."

"Can I hold her a bit longer?" the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them, and she looked defeated.

"Sure. I need to take a bath, do you mind?" she asked, and I frowned.

"What do you mean? You don't have to ask to take a bath."

"I meant do you mind watching Rose? Just, don't take her out of these rooms please; I'm not comfortable with that."

"And you're comfortable with leaving your daughter in my care unattended? Don't you think I'm this evil, unfeeling prat who wouldn't hesitate in casting a Crucio on a defenseless infant?"

"I think you're taking it a bit far." She glared at me again. "I'm leaving her with you because you're all I have here, and I don't think you would do anything with Rose considering she already has you wrapped around her finger."

"She does not!" I scoffed, offending by the idea.

"Oh? 'Can I hold her a bit longer?'" she did a poor imitation of my voice and I was speechless. "Look, I know you wouldn't hurt her. If you've been sincere about everything you've said, then I know I can trust you with her. I still don't trust you where I'm concerned, but with her I know I can. So, I figure if I take a bath, come back, and my daughter is perfectly fine, then you've passed my test."

"That seems a bit of a risk considering that she's you're child." I pointed out, unable to stop myself.

"Yeah well, I brought her to a house full of death eaters, and that's a hell of a bigger risk than leaving her with the man that swore to protect us." With one last hard stare she turned on her heel and left the nursery, leaving me alone with her daughter. I sighed, wondering if she was always so moody. I stood in the middle of the room awkwardly for a moment, not really knowing what to do. I had never held a baby before, and now I was alone with one in my care. I made my way to the rocking chair and sat down, positioning Rose so that she was cradled in my arms perfectly, her head resting in the crook of my elbow.

"You're very pretty, did you know that?" I said softly, feeling more than a bit foolish as I talked to her. Her wide blue eyes stared up at me, taking in my features as I took in hers. She looked so serious for someone so small that it brought a small laugh out of me. "You're going to be just like you're mother, aren't you? Already paying more attention to everything than you need to."

I continued to talk to her, not really knowing why. There was something about talking to someone who couldn't understand you that made it so much simpler; not having to worry about saying the wrong thing, just being able to talk about anything really. Her eyes started to close, and she would open them again as if she was fighting off sleep, so I started to rock her in the chair, pleased to see that her eyes stayed closed longer each time she blinked until she drifted off.

I could have put her in her crib, but her warmth seemed to seep into me, and before I knew it I was growing drowsy myself. Not wanting to lose this feeling I carefully made my way to my bed and laid down, placing her in the crook of my arm, close to my body. Her tiny fingers took my shirt in her grasp even in her sleep, as if she was asking me not to move. I was asleep before I could think about if my own children would hold onto me that way as well.

_**"**__Do you want kids, mate?" Blaise asked me one day when we were in my bedroom, both of us bored from the dinner our parents had forced us to attend. It was filled to the brim with pureblood daughters that they deemed appropriate for us to reproduce with._

_ "I do, but not in the sense to 'carry on the line' and all that crap yeah?" It was easier to talk to Blaise than it was to anyone else, we had known each other since we were in diapers, and he was always there for me. _

_ "My mum isn't like your parents. She doesn't care who I marry, as long as I can give her grandbabies. She said '__Blaise mio tesoro, eri così carino quando eri un bambino. Hai sempre voluto la tua mamma. Voglio nipotini piccoli, perché voi non farlo più. Hai fino a quando il 25 e poi ti trovare una moglie e nipotini forza fuori di voi.' It was kind of scary." _

_ "You know I don't speak Italian." I laughed, finding the way he imitated his mothers voice amusing. _

_ "She basically said that she was going to force me to have children if I don't by the time I'm twenty-five." He scowled. "But I dont really blame her, I was a pretty cute baby." _

_ "What happened?"I joked, shoving him a bit._

_ "I became undeniably handsome." He pushed me back, which started a short wrestling match that we both gave up on quickly, neither of us determined to win. _

_ "My mother wont shut up about babies, it's creepy. I keep on telling her that I'm only fifteen and she just goes off about how she was seventeen when she married my father and they had me the year after." I scowled, tired of the 'give me grandchildren before I'm old' speech._

_ "And your father?" Blaise knew that my father and I didnt get along anymore, and most of it had to do with the fact that he stopped being kind to me after I turned six. _

_ "You're lucky you don't have one," was all I said, and Blaise agreed. _

_ "Yeah, I suppose I am. Although, you're father was pretty good to me when we were younger. He would always play with us and buy us new toys." He shook his head. "I don't really understand why he became such a prick." _

_ "Something about how boys couldn't be soft and how I needed to learn tough love. I think its because he's an arsehole and doesn't give a shit about the fact that I'm a human being, not something created for the sole purpose of being a perfect heir." _

_ "I'm so glad my mum isn't like that at all." He said a quick thank you to Merlin and grinned at me. "So, what are we going to do tonight?"_

_ "Why do you always think I have something planned?" I shook my head, trying to hide my own grin._

_ "Because it's Friday night during our summer break, we just turned sixteen, and Pansy snuck you a note during dinner." _

_ "How do you even know about that? She did it when we went to the bathroom!" I looked at my friend with amazement, wondering what else he knew._

_ "She took something out of her purse before she left the dinner table after you excused yourself, and when you came back there was a crease in your pants pocket in the shape of a folded up piece of parchment that wasn't there before. And your lips had a slight pink tinge to them, so I assumed she snogged you good to make sure you would go to whatever she had planned." _

_ "Holy. Shit." I stared at him, completley dumb founded by how much he took in. "Well, since you know everything why don't you tell me where we're going tonight?"_

_ "I'd rather not, I know how much you like to make the plans and tell me them." He gave me a cheeky smile and I socked him again, telling him our plans for the night. _

_ "Pansy is having a party at her house because her parents are on vacation. She told me to invite you, and that she has a surprise for me later in the night." _

_ "It's hardly a surprise when she's been telling any girl that will listen that she plans on shagging you senseless tonight." _

_ "That doesn't shock me," I shrugged. "But I don't think I'm going to shag her tonight." _

_ "Are you crazy mate? Pansy's a __**Virgin**__, everyone loves to have a go at a virgin." _

_ "No, not me." I shuddered. "I took Astoria's virginity last year over winter break, and she thought we were going to get married. She got incredibly clingy, constantly nagged me, and even tried to pick out my clothes. No, I am not shagging anymore virgins, ever again." _

_ "So that's why you dumped her." He laughed at my expense, finding the situation a lot funnier than it was. "Well, what are you going to tell Pansy?"_

_ "That I dont fuck virgins, and if she wants to have a go at me she's going to have to find someone else to pop her cherry." I admitted, aware of how rude I was going to sound, but knowing that Pansy-any girl for that matter-would do whatever I wanted them too. _

_ "Cold, mate, you are cold." He stood up and made his way to his closet, pulling out a bottle of firewhiskey. "Do you want to have a pre-party? Just in case Pansy doesn't have any good stuff?" _

_ "Sure." I found two shot glasses, handing one to him. "Although we both know that she always has good stuff." _

_ "Yes, but this way you have an excuse for being a prick tomorrow when Pansy floo's you crying." _

_ "For excuses then." I held up my drink and he did the same._

_ "For best mates!" he added with a wink before throwing his head back as he took the shot. I did the same, hissing slightly as the alcohol burned my throat. _

I woke up to Hermione taking a fussy Rose away from my side, groaning as I felt how tired I was from my nap.

"Sorry, I was trying not to wake you. She got hungry." Hermione already had a bottle made and sat down in a chair next to the fireplace, Rose drank happily, milk spilling from the sides of her mouth.

"How long was I asleep for?" I stretched, letting out a satisfied sound as my back popped.

"I came out of the bath at two, and it's four now, so two hours, maybe more." She glanced at me for a moment before turning her attention back to Rose. "You could have put her down in her crib you know."

"I didnt really want to." Was all I said, getting out of bed. "Are you hungry?"

"A little." I called for Tassie, who arrived in my room with a soft 'pop'.

"What can Tassie do for the young master?" she said, her big jade colored eyes focused on the ground.

"What do you want to eat?" I asked Hermione, who looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Macoroni and Cheese, and grapes."

"And I'll have a steak, medium rare, with sliced potatoes and steamed carrots. Bring some milk to drink."

"Is that all young master?"

"Yes, thats all Tassie."

"Tassie bring it back soon." She dissapeared quickly and I sat in the chair across from Hermione.

"You can call for Tassie whenever you need something okay? She's my personal house elf, and will bring you whatever you want."

"Thank you." She wiped the spilled milk from Rose's face and neck, placed a rag over her shoulder and started to pat her back.

"What are you doing?" it looked a bit silly to me, and a bit rude. I wouldn't want anyone to hit my back after I ate.

"I'm burping her. Babies need to be burped after they eat because of the air bubbles in the milk, it causes air to be in their stomachs and it hurts them. So you have to burp them to get it out." She explained, and I nodded.

"Oh, well do you do that everytime she eats?"

"Yes, until she can start eating solid food, then I don't need to anymore. After she goes to the bathroom, then I'm going to give her a bath. By then, she'll just want to be held or I'll give her a toy to amuse herself with, and she'll be asleep by 9 hopefully."

"Do you need any help?" I offered, completely intrigued by how much work went into taking care of a baby.

"I'll be fine. Besides, you haven't done any work all day. I know that you said that you didn't want any attention drawn to you, so you should probably get something done."

"Right." I cleared my throat, not wanting her to know I was dissapointed.

"But..." she gave me a small smile. "You can help me in the morning if you want."

"Are you sure?"

"You fell asleep with her because you didn't want to put her down. You can help me change her diaper or feed her if you want to." She gave me a full smile now, and I nodded. Inside, my chest tightened. I had to get the spell done sooner rather than later, because if something happened to either of them, I don't think I would be able to forgive myself.

**Sorry about the wait lovelies! I had a really busy week, and didnt have my laptop with me for half of it. Now, check this out! 100 people read chapter three the day it came out, and only TWO people reviewed! If you like my story, let me know! The more reviews I get, the sooner the next chapter comes out! I hope you guys liked this chapter—Draco's past has a huge part in this story, so pay attention! Hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Years! =) Welcome to 2012 everyone!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

_A/N: So sorry I haven't updated in so long! I have been very busy with university and a lot of things have been going on with my family =/ I haven't really been feeling the words, and I don't want to post a chapter just to post one. I would just like to thank everyone who reviewed chapter four! They were all very lovely and made my day! I have midterms coming up next week, so hopefully after that I can start posting regularly again! _

_**Sigh No More Chapter Five: **__**I'll find strength in pain and I will change my ways I'll know my name as it's called again**_

The next few days weren't the worst that I have had in my life considering what I have dealt with on a daily basis these last few years. It felt weird ending my days lying next to Draco Malfoy, and even more foreign to me was waking up with his arms wrapped around me. It wasn't the fact that I was in _his_ arms per say, more like it I wasn't waking up to _Ron's. _It caused a strange pressure to build up in my chest as the days kept on passing, and I found that I couldn't shake the feeling of anxiety that found me each night as he came to bed. It seemed wrong to me to want him to just get it over with so that once I knew what it would be like with him, I could prepare myself for whatever came next. The only consolation I had was how much he seemed to truly care about Rose, and she returned the feeling. He was able to calm her down just by holding her it seemed.

I didn't have a problem with him helping out with my daughter, although I must admit that it felt like another betrayal to Ron. I sighed as I realized that once again my thoughts had gone back to my husband. I hadn't thought about Ron this much since the first few months after his death, and I blinked back the sting in my eyes, not wanting to cry today. I was stronger than this girl who constantly cried over the smallest thing, and I had something that most people didn't have these days—I had a piece of Ron that would live after I was gone as well.

"Did you know sweetheart that you have your daddy's eyes?" I cooed to Rose, rubbing her nose with mine. I smiled when I felt her small fingers grab onto my hair, gently removing them. I looked at my daughter, noticing how happy healthy she looked. She had just woken up from her midday nap; her hair had the same ruffled look that Ron's had every time he had woken up, the back sticking up in little tufts. She wiggled impatiently in my arms and I set her on the changing table, pleased with how quick I had taken to motherhood despite the fact that I had missed out on those important first months. As I began to change her diaper and clothes I talked to her about her father's adventures with Harry, tickling her to cause her to squirm and smile at the right parts.

"That's it baby girl, Daddy was funny." I brushed her hair to lay flat and changed her clothes to a clean little dress, kissing her forehead just to reassure myself that she was real.

"Draco wasn't lying when he told me how beautiful she is." Narcissa was standing in the doorway to the nursery; she had obviously been there for a while. I took in her expensive dress, the jewels that adorned her neck, ears, and fingers, even her perfect hairstyle. This was the embodiment of a pureblood woman, perfection.

"She is everything I had ever hoped for in a child." I replied, holding Rose closer, feeling her soft body mold into mine.

"I felt that way when Draco was mine, before his father decided it was time to take him under his wing. He was lovely as a baby, reminded me of a little angel." She gave me a small smile. "I didn't come here to ask to hold her; I just wanted to see her. I always wanted more children."

"Draco said as much when we talked earlier." I looked at Rose who was staring at Narcissa with wide eyes; obviously she was entranced by how much the woman in front of her shined from all of the diamonds on her. "You can hold her if you want, but I would prefer it if you didn't leave Draco's rooms."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured by my presence to let me do anything you aren't comfortable with." Her words were sincere I was sure, but she had already taken a few steps towards me.

"I'm sure, here. She's all ready to be entertained." I passed Rose to Narcissa, still considering it a bit unreal that my daughter was going to grow up with the Malfoy's.

"Thank you Hermione." She held Rose close, and the look on her face brought me the understanding that she would never harm my daughter.

"You're welcome. If you need me, I'm going to be in the library reading." She only nodded to let me know she heard, already talking to Rose. I walked over to the library that Draco had said was mine, but reading didn't give me the same thrill that it did when I was younger. I picked up the book I had started a few days ago, getting ready for a bit of peace that came to me when I could pretend that this wasn't real.

_"You know I haven't seen you read a book for pleasure since we left." Ron teased, playing with a curl that had fallen out of the bun I had made messily. _

_ "Well, there hasn't really been any time where I felt like I could take a break. But since Harry is visiting Ginny right now I figured that I can take a break as well." I admitted, turning the page. _

_ "Only you would think that reading a baby book is pleasure reading." He sounded pleased in my desire to learn all I could about pregnancy and mothering though. I think he was hoping that I would change my mind about letting Ginny raise our child until we finished the task that Dumbledore had given to Harry. _

_ "But our baby makes me the happiest person alive, so reading about it seems like a good idea." I set the book down, knowing that Ron wasn't going to let me read anymore today. "What do you want to do now that we have a few hours alone?" _

_ "If you would have asked me that three months ago I would have jumped on you," his grin was infectious, and my favorite. "But now, all I want to do is sit here with you and talk about our baby." _

_ "Oh? And if I said I was in the mood for more?" I unbuttoned the top three buttons on Ron's shirt that I had slipped on this morning._

_ "Who am I to deny the needs of my wife?" He scooped me up and carried me to the bed, placing kisses all over my face. As we lay in our bed cuddling he leaned up on his elbow, his other hand running along my face softly. "I would give you the world Mione, if you wanted it." _

_ "It's a good thing all I want is you." I grinned cheekily, pulling him back down to me. _

_ "Well, that makes it easier." He laughed, leaning in to kiss me. _

_ "Hey guys, I had to come back a little early because-"____Harry came into the tent, his face tinged with pink at the situation. _

_ "You always did know how to kill the mood mate." Ron said with a sigh as he got up from the bed. _

_ "You had all day!" Harry snorted, shaking his head. "It's not my fault that it takes you forever to get to something." _

_ "I believe it took you six years to tell my sister that you loved her." My husband and best friend continued to argue with each other while I watched, content. _

"You've been on the same page for a good ten minutes." Draco's voice pulled me back from the past and I closed the book.

"I was thinking about the last time I read a book for pleasure." I shrugged, putting the book away.

"You were smiling." He pointed out, and I gave him an amused look.

"It was a fond memory; you act like I don't smile." I was standing by the windows trying my best not to stare at him. He had obviously just come from a game of quidditch; his pants were covered in dirt and the white shirt he was wearing had spots of blood and dirt on it. His hair was windblown and mussed; quite different from his usual look.

"You only smile when you're with Rose." He walked over to me, standing closer than I would have liked.

"She makes me happy." I defended. "There's not much to do here Draco, it's hard being cooped up in your rooms."

"I know, and I'm sorry. Once we complete the spell you'll be able to walk the grounds." He gave me a small smile. "You let my mother watch Rose."

"She came by just after Rose woke up from her nap," I shrugged. "I wanted to read a bit anyways, so I offered."

"It means a lot to her."

"I know that." We stood staring at each other for a while, neither of us saying anything. He was a very attractive man, I wasn't blind. He was offering me protection that no one else could give me or my daughter, and that should have been enough to make this easier for me. No matter how many times he helped me, or was nice, or how hard he tried, I doubted I could fall in love with him—his eyes were the wrong shade of blue.

"I'm going to kiss you now Hermione." He said suddenly and much to my surprise.

"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow, wondering how he came to this decision.

"Yes, don't act so shocked. I told you I wanted you to get used to me before I completed the spell. This is a part of that."

"Oh." I said, understanding what he meant. "Okay, well then. Kiss me." He smirked at me before capturing my lips with his own. His kiss was different from Ron's; Ron's kisses had been filled with love for me, a promise to love me always. Draco's kiss was powerful, dominant, demanding. It wasn't a whisper of friendship, or a confession of hope; it was a command of strength with an undertone of triumph. It wasn't bad as far as kisses go, but his weren't the lips I longed for.

I went to pull away from him and he placed a hand on my waist, pulling me closer to him. His other hand went to my hair, tangling his fingers in it as he deepened the kiss. I brought my hands up to push him away when a tightening in my lower stomach hit me and I wrapped my hands around his neck instead. I found myself kissing him back with enthusiasm that I had been lacking at the start of it, and his response left me weak in the knees. When he made sure that he had kissed me senseless he pulled away, another smirk on his face. His ice blue eyes had darkened significantly which sent a thrill down my spine, and then the guilt hit me. I had kissed another man and enjoyed it.

"That went well." He said calmly, that damn smirk still plastered on his face.

"Shut up Malfoy." I glared at him, and he frowned.

"So I kiss you and you like it, and all of a sudden I'm 'Malfoy' again?" he shook his head. "You are so infuriating!"

"Who says I liked it?" I challenged, taking a few steps back to put some distance between us.

"You didn't have to say it Hermione! You kissed me back; you wrapped your arms around my neck! You liked it!" he growled as he walked towards me, closing the space I had tried to create.

"So what if I did then? My body enjoyed it sure! It's been over a year since anyone's touched me romantically; of course I'm going to respond." I argued, not wanting to admit that maybe it wasn't that.

"Whatever you have to tell yourself to help you sleep at night." He narrowed his eyes at me.

"Are you going to…tonight are we…?" I couldn't finish either sentence and he shook his head.

"No were not. Not if just kissing you leads to an argument. Now, I have a meeting to get to. I'll be back for dinner, and maybe we can do something after I give Rose her bath and put her to bed."

"Like what?" I frowned, there was absolutely nothing to do in his rooms besides play with Rose and read.

"I don't know whatever you want. Here, let me see your wand and I'll take off some of the charms so that you can transfigure things to what you need." I handed him my wand and he ran his hands over it a few times, a look of concentration on his face.

"Thank you." I said when handed it back. "Maybe I can transfigure a telly and we can watch a movie."

"A telly?" he thought for a moment before shaking his head. "I suppose I'll find out tonight anyways. I'll see you later." He bent down and placed a gentle kiss on my lips before he left, leaving me standing there looking like a complete idiot. His kiss goodbye had been so different from his previous one, a tender goodbye that promised a return.

"_Are you sure that this is a good idea?" Ron asked for the millionth time as we got ready to apparate to where Ginny was meeting us. _

"_Yes I'm sure Ron. I wouldn't put Ginny in danger." Harry sighed, his stress level continued to rise as Ginny's pregnancy progressed. It probably didn't help that I was with him and pregnant as well. They had both tried their hardest to convince me that being with the baby after it was born was the best plan, but I couldn't leave them until the mission was completed. _

"_I'm not worried about Ginny right now Harry. My wife, your best friend, is carrying my child. I don't want her walking into danger right now." _

"_Hermione can stay-"_

"_I am __**not**__ staying behind. I'm pregnant, not handicapped." I retorted, a glare on my face. "If were finished being worrying prats, I suggest we leave." _

"_Are you su-"_

"_Yes Ronald, I'm sure!" I snapped._

"_You called me Ronald; I'm in trouble aren't I?" he had my favorite grin on his face, his blue eyes held his apology. _

"_No you're not." I tried to stay mad, but admitted my defeat with a smile. "You're lucky I love you." _

"_I know the truth when I hear it." He gave me a soft kiss before Harry groaned._

"_Okay, can we go now? I'd like to actually be there when Ginny arrives." I laughed but broke away from Ron and nodded my head. It was still early enough in my pregnancy that apparating wouldn't cause any harm to the baby, so I thought of where we were going as I closed my eyes. I breathed through my nose at the pinching sensation, and when I opened them it was to see Harry embracing Ginny. She was seven months pregnant and her rounded stomach made her face glow. _

"_Hey Hermione, Ron!" She smiled at me as Harry placed a loving hand on her extended belly. _

"_You look beautiful Ginny." I told her as I gave her a hug. Ron held his little sister a bit longer than he usually would, and his eyes were shinier than they normally were when he pulled away._

"_If any other bloke besides Harry here had knocked you up I would have killed them. You're lucky the 'Chosen One' chose you." He teased, dodging Ginny's fist as she tried to hit him. _

"_Actually mate, your sister picked me." Harry's words calmed Ginny, who leaned against him gratefully. _

"_Well, I thought that since my little sister was making me an uncle at such a young age I should return the favor." Ron grinned at Ginny, who looked at me with bright eyes._

"_You're having a baby too?" she exclaimed, pulling me in for another hug. _

"_Yes, I'm three months I think. We don't know what it's going to be yet, and I think I want it to be a surprise." _

"_That's lovely Hermione! I'm so happy for you two! Wait until Mum hears this Ron! She's going to have two grandbabies to spoil now!" Ginny hugged her brother again and they shared smiles over the others joy. _

"_Well, we actually wanted to talk to you about something. Hermione wants to finish the mission before she takes care of the baby, so we were wondering if you would mind taking the baby until we can do it together." Ron asked, his dislike for what he was saying evident on his face and the way his body tensed up._

"_It's not that I don't want to take care of the baby, because I do. I just need to finish this, I want my child to be able to grow up without fear, and I have a right to make that a possibility." I added and Ginny nodded._

"_I understand Mione, and I don't think that it's a problem. Harry knows where my safe house is, so when the baby is born you bring it to me okay?" I nodded, thankful that she at least knew where I was coming from. "So, have you guys thought of any names yet?" _

"_I like Elizabeth if it's a girl." Ron gave me a pointed look that said 'if we don't name our daughter that then I will have a hernia' and I rolled my eyes._

"_We haven't really decided anything yet. I feel like once I see him or her, then I'll know what their name is." It was something about a connection, of who is this person in front of me. My parents had waited until they saw me to pick out a name, and as much as I didn't like 'Hermione' sometimes, it's who I am._

"_Harry and I have decided on James Sirius Potter, I think it sounds good together." Ginny and Harry had a private look and Ron smiled._

"_Hopefully he's not like his grandfather and Sirius, otherwise you're in for a lot of trouble." Ron gave Harry a pat on the back and Ginny shook her head._

"_I'm hoping he doesn't get his father's sense for trouble. I'll be happy as long as a dark wizard isn't trying to kill him while he grows up." The light mood disappeared with those words and Harry looked at Ginny solemnly. _

"_I promise you that our son will never have to worry about Him. I promise." He vowed, and then all hell was set loose. _

Narcissa had decided that she wanted to get to know me better and wanted to have lunch with me. So that's how I found myself sitting at the table I normally sat at with her son for meals, with Rose laying in her swing contently.

"How are things going for you dear? Is Draco being good?" she asked after taking a bite from her salmon.

"Oh…well, yes. He's been very kind to me, and he's so good with Rose." I found my throat had gone dry sitting across from the older woman and reached for my lemonade.

"He does seem very taken with her. I keep asking him when we'll have another little one about, but he never gives me an answer." She seemed put out about this and I tried to give her a smile, but I'm pretty sure it looked more like a wince.

"Well, we haven't talked about it yet."

"Oh, well I know about your whole situation dear, so if you need to talk with me about anything I can guarantee you that it won't get back to him."

"Oh, well…" I took a bite of chicken to stall. "I think it will be a lot to handle having another baby right now while Rose is still so young."

"But it would be so nice for her to have a little brother or sister to grow up with." Narcissa aimed a smile at Rose. "I would have liked for Draco to have a little sibling to grow up with, someone to share all of his secrets and worries to. I had that with my sisters when we were younger."

"I'm an only child, and I found I had a great relationship with my parents because of my lack of siblings." I shrugged. "Honestly, I had no plans of having any more children besides Rose. If your husband hadn't of captured me and your son hadn't of given me any potions for an ancient spell that I have no idea how to break. I was fine with Rose; In fact, I'm still fine with only Rose. But that option has been taken from me, so please excuse me if I lack the amount of joy and happiness you seem to find at the thought of me having children." Narcissa didn't seem angry about my confession, nor did she seem to feel anything about it at all. She merely took a few more bites from her plate before setting her fork down.

"I understand that you have been put in a situation that you would do anything to be out of. I understand that my son has been anything but kind to you while you both were growing up. But I want you to understand something. My son did what he did to protect you. He cares about you in the only way he knew how to show you, and he risked his life to do so." I opened my mouth so interrupt but her narrowed eyes cut me off. "His life hasn't been a normal one; he hasn't grown up showered with love and affection by both of his parents. He had to hide his affection for me-his own mother-for fear that his love for me would be used against him at some point. His apparent hatred for you has saved you Hermione, and you should be grateful for that."

"That's not what I meant at all Narcissa-" I tried but she cut me off again by standing up.

"I don't really care what you meant at this point Hermione; I just want you to understand some things before you judge my son. He is a good man, a very good man. He is playing the cards that fate dealt him, and playing them well. He cares about you, and he cares about your daughter, and he would care about the children that you give him with all that he has. My son is good, he just needs someone to love him, and show it." With that being said, she left the room, leaving me sitting there speechless.

"What the bloody hell!" I managed after a moment of stunned silence, completely confused, and yet I remembered what Molly Weasley had said to me when she noticed that I felt something for her son, and couldn't blame Narcissa for worrying about her son, no matter how old he was.


	6. Chapter 6

**Sigh No More Chapter Six: Such is the way of the world You can never know Just where to put all your faith And how will it grow**

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling**

_The room was silent as everyone stared at the three ragged people standing in the parlor of my house. Bellatrix examined the boy with the puffy face carefully, lifting up his hair to see a jagged scar on his forehead that could or could not be the lightning bolt scar that Harry Potter had there. She pulled his hair roughly to make him wince and shoved him away from her when she couldn't satisfy her curiosity. She turned away from him and looked at the red headed young man standing next to the young girl that was obviously Hermione Granger. _

_ "And you are?" she asked him, a smile curving her lips._

_ "Barney Weasley." He lifted his head a little bit, as if he was going to do something to get the three of them out of the situation, but at the dangerous glint in my aunt's eyes he stopped and held still. _

_ "Draco, didn't the Potter boy have two friends, a Weasley and a Mudblood?" she turned to me and my Mother clutched her hands tighter to her skirts, obviously worried about the attention that it would put on me. _

_ "He did Aunt." I responded, not wanting to say anything for reasons I couldn't quite realize._

_ "And you girl? Are you the Mudblood Granger that is so in love with Harry Potter?" Bellatrix grabbed onto Hermione's hair roughly, yanking their faces close together._

_ "I'm Penelope Clearwater, a Half-blood." She said, her voice shaking. _

_ "Is this true Draco?" Father said from his corner of the room, his face pale. This could save our family from destruction by the Dark Lord; if we could turn over Harry Potter to him our family would be safe. But somehow I couldn't do it, I couldn't say what I knew, and that was that these people were in fact exactly who he so desperately wished they were. _

_ "I can't be sure Father." I saw the flicker of confusion that briefly touched Potter's face. He knew that I had just saved his life-possibly. _

_ "They must know something about his location. Grayback, take the two boys down to the dungeon, I'll work it out of the girl." Bellatrix gave a low chuckle as she watched the two boys struggle to stay with Hermione. _

_ "Don't you touch her!" Ron yelled, managing to hit one of his capturers in the face before they decided to stun him and drag his unconscious body from the room. _

_ "So feisty, I look forward to breaking him." Bellatrix laughed again. "Now, you said you were a half-blood? The Clearwater's?" Hermione nodded her head minutely, her body trembling. _

_ "How did you get into the vault girl?" Father demanded, holding up the sword of Gryffindor as if that would make her tell him whatever he wanted to know. _

_ "We didn't get into any vault. It just appeared one day." _

_ "Liar!" Bellatrix slapped her so hard that her lip split, her blood dripped onto her chin in a startling red color. _

_ "I'm not lying!" She glared at my Aunt, her face determined. _

_ "We'll see about that, Mudblood." I watched in silence as my aunt decided to torture the girl I had competed in school with since I was eleven years old. Her blood was slowly forming a puddle around her body on the white marble floors I had learned to walk on. _

_ "I don't know anything! Please stop!" Hermione screamed as Bellatrix decided to carve the word 'Mudblood' on to her arm slowly with her wand; that scar would never be covered up. Her cries were endless as the pain my Aunt was inflicting never let up. The screams echoed in the room, throughout the house; I could feel them imprint in my memory. _

_ "TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW YOU MUDBLOOD WHORE!" she shouted in her face, spittle flying from her mouth. I tried to keep my face impassive; I was fighting so hard to keep the cold mask in place. Hermione chose that moment to look up at me, her once worn brown eyes clouded by pain and fear now, and I knew she was so close to giving up. _

_ "Hermione!" Ron shouted from the stairway, and suddenly Bellatrix's wand was gone. Harry and Ron rushed to Hermione and picked her up while my Aunt let out a shriek that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and then they were gone. _

"What are you doing Draco?" My father asked me as I made my way through the halls of the Manor.

"I was going over to Blaise's for something that Voldemort wanted us to do. We have to go over a few things before we place the plan into action." I replied, taking in how much healthier he looked now that the Dark Lord felt confident in his victory.

"That's good. You know, I am so very proud of you Draco. The Dark Lord mentions you and praises you often, and holds you up as a role model for the younger members." He gave me a rare smile, patting my shoulder.

"Thank you Father," I held back my distaste at being in the forefront of the Dark Lords mind. "I'm glad that you are proud of me."

"How are things coming along with your little Mudblood?" he asked easily, as if talking about the weather.

"They are going as well as one could hope, she is very compliant surprisingly." He nodded his head at my words and patted my shoulder again.

"You've grown into a fine young man Draco, keep walking this path son."

"I will Father." I promised, letting out a soft sigh as he left. I shook my head as I walked down the halls, almost letting out a small laugh at the thought of Hermione Granger being 'compliant'. I had only kissed her earlier in her little library and she just about bit my head off afterwards, although that kiss had been worth it. I walked quickly to the apparation point on our front yard, thinking back wistfully on the time where I could have done this from anywhere in the house. Those times had changed however, and it was a lot more private for me to just walk to the edge of the gardens mother had recently added and apparate wherever I wanted to from there without having to worry about being followed.

"Took you long enough, you were supposed to meet with me regularly this week mate, what the bloody hell could ever be more important?" Blaise growled at me from his chair, brown eyes narrowed in a glare aimed at me.

"I couldn't very well write it in a letter Brother." I raised an eyebrow and waited for him to stop looking at me like he wanted to place his hands around my neck and squeeze.

"I suppose you're going to be a dramatic git now and have me ask you what has been keeping you?" he sighed.

"No, not particularly. Now, how are the plans coming along?" I took the chair across from him and poured myself a drink, looking for actions to hide my amusement.

"Oh, you think you're so bloody clever don't you? Well I've been stressed out all week Brother, this next part of the plan is vital if you want the actually do it. No more flying around for Merlin's sake." On a second glance, my normally very well put together friend was a mess. His hair was ruffled, his clothes looked slept in, and he had the shadow of a beard when he preferred smooth skin.

"I'm sorry Blaise," I shook my head. "I do understand how important this next phase is, and I wouldn't have left unless I had a very important reason."

"I know you wouldn't have Draco, but I feel like what can be more important than this? We've been planning this since we were fifteen!" Blaise stood up and tossed his glass on the table carelessly, standing in front of the windows.

"Hermione Granger." His head snapped towards me and a look of disbelief and sadness crossed his face.

"Did she finally get killed? I'm sorry mate-"

"No!" I cried out in horror, the thought of her dying hadn't crossed my mind since the moment I laid her in my bed. "I have her safe and protected in my rooms."

"Okay, Mudblood, Malfoy Manor, Heir to Voldemorts throne...correct me if I'm wrong, but none of those words put together equal safe for the Mudblood part." Blaise was being sarcastic, but I shrugged.

"I preformed the mistress spell; Hermione is safe with me as long as we have a child. She understands all of this, although she does need to get out more often."

"And she is okay with you having sex with her? Somehow I find that hard to envision, this is _the_ Hermione Granger correct?"

"Of course it's her. But there is a catch...she already married the Weasel and had a kid with him. I promised her full protection for said kid if she did what I asked." I grinned at him and Blaise shook his head.

"Dear Lord Draco, sometimes I wonder how you weren't killed by someone already." Blaise shook his head. "You can't just use a child for blackmail."

"I'm offended that you think I am. Hermione gets to do whatever she wants with Rosie, and I help out sometimes as well. The only hard thing for her is that she is cooped up in my rooms until I complete the spell."

"She's welcome over here anytime, my house is never used for death eater meetings, plus they don't exactly know about this one."

"Brilliant, she'll like that."

"Since we're already on the subject, it would seem that I am supposed to marry Pansy." Blaise didn't look too put out, but then again he was adept at hiding his feelings.

"Well, she isn't bad looking. I don't know why everyone always called her what they did, she's quite stunning." I shrugged. "It's not a bad thing mate."

"Okay, so would you want to marry someone who gave up their virginity to some random bloke all because she wanted to fuck your best friend who told her to?" I bit my lip to keep from smiling because I knew it would piss him off.

"Oh...there is that bit. I sort of forgot about that to be honest. You know how I felt about her, and Astoria, and Daphne. I don't want any of them." I took another long drink and set my glass down; I still had to watch that muggle contraption thing with her tonight.

"That doesn't change the fact that my fiancé is completely infatuated with you." He let out a strange sound of irritation and then ran a hand through his already unkempt hair. "I don't know mate, I thought this would all be over by now."

"It will be soon Blaise, I promise." I motioned for him to sit down. "Tell me, what have you heard?" Blaise looked at the chair he had just vacated and then strode towards his vault purposefully. He pulled out a few parchments and a leather bound journal before sitting down again, rifling through the papers.

"I've discovered a profound amount of unsatisfied members in the Dark Lords ranks. I've overheard many discussions from those bugs I had planted in houses. You know, we really should place more value on muggle devices."

"Muggle value aside, what have you learned?"

"Right, right." He nodded. "Here are the lists of names that have talked about some sort of slight or wrong that the Dark Lord has done to them. The ones in red ink have spoken in anger or have made multiple comments about questioning if they followed the right path. There are two names with stars next to them: Theodore Nott and Arcturus Black-"

"My cousin? Are you sure? He's been so set in his ways since his mother was disowned from the family. He's been trying to prove that he's worthy of the Black name-"

"I'm positive. He's never been cut out for this life Draco, you know that."

"I just find it so hard to believe." I shook my head.

"Believe it. Anyways, those are the names. I still have the bugs set up and magicked them to record anything that has to do with dissent in the ranks. I also heard that someone was recently killed for trying to plan the overthrow of the Dark Lord."

"Who?"

"I didn't get a name, I just know that it happened." He shrugged.

"That doesn't mean anything besides our continued caution." I returned his gesture; nothing would change our path when we were so close.

"If you're sure. There is still time to turn this around Draco, you have Hermione. Isn't that why you were doing this?"

"You know this was bigger than just that. That was the main reason why I started this, but now..." I sighed, mussing up my own hair. "I have to do this Blaise; I have to do the right thing. I have to."

"But you don't have to! That's my point."

"Do you want to back out? Is that what you're trying to tell me?" I demanded.

"No! I'm just...I'm tired Brother, and it's only been four years."

"Imagine your whole life." I stood up. "I have many things to do today. Thank you for the names, I'll have to arrange a little chat with my cousin. Why don't you set up a meeting with Nott and we'll go from there. Remember, tread carefully."

"I know, and you as well." I gave him a quick smile before apparating back to my grounds, my shoulders feeling that much more weight upon them from the stress of my own mission. I looked up at the manor and saw something bright in a window that caught my eye. Looking closer, I smiled. Hermione was holding Rosie up to the window; the little girl was looking at the world with wide eyes. My shoulders loosened as I quickened my steps to join them.

_**Authors Note: Hey everyone, I just want to apologize for not getting this out sooner and for it being so short. I was so busy this past month, I'm sick right now, and finals are literally a week away. I wanted to get something out there for you all though, and I promise that the next chapter will be worth it =) thank you so much for sticking with me, and please review or leave me a message!**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Sigh No More Chapter Seven: Gonna rise up Burning back holes in dark memories Gonna rise up Turning mistakes into gold**

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter Belongs to JK Rowling. **

Hermione turned from the window when Draco disappeared from view, taking Rose to her crib after placing a tender kiss on her forehead. I turned on the floating night lights that let off a gentle multicolored glow before leaving the door open a crack. Letting out a soft sigh I sat down on the window chair, drawing my legs up to my chest and laying my head on them. I couldn't get the fact that I would have to have sex with Draco Malfoy out of my head; it was slowly driving me insane, waiting for him to make his move. I understood the fact that he wanted me to be comfortable with him before he did initiate something as intimate as physical intimacy, but it was causing me to have small anxiety attacks whenever he came around. It wasn't the fact that I knew he wanted to have sex with me; it was the fact that I had no idea of what my own reaction to him would be afterwards. Add on the several moments when he had surprised me with completely unexpected kisses or touches, leaving my stomach full of butterflies when he would smirk at me or give me heated glance with his ice blue eyes.

"Thinking about me?" I jumped slightly and glanced away from the window to see Draco leaning against the bedframe, arms crossed, ice blue eyes taking in every inch of me.

"You always were self-centered." I gave him a small smile to let him know I was at least half-way joking.

"I can't help but acknowledge the truth that I've known since a young age—I'm undeniably good-looking, so much so that women spend the majority of their time thinking about me when I'm away." I rolled my eyes at him, and yet I couldn't stop my heart from racing as he continued to stare at me.

"Right, well. Are you hungry?" I stood up from the window seat, smoothing out invisible wrinkles for something to occupy my hands with.

"Not particularly, no. Have you eaten today?" he moved towards me and I took a few side steps, still unsure of what to do about my latest problem.

"I ate breakfast with you." He frowned and I glanced at the clock to see that it was two in the afternoon.

"We ate at seven." He shook his head at me before calling a house elf up and ordering a late lunch for the both of us. "Did you just put Rosie down?"

"Yes, she was getting a little cranky." He motioned for me to sit at the table, sitting down himself. It was perfect timing as two house elves arrived with our food. "How was your day?"

"Uninteresting. I had to meet with a few people, went by to see Blaise for a little bit." He took a bite of his salad before asking me about my day. I took a deep breath before deciding to dive into the waters. I was a bloody Gryffindor for crying out loud, I had to have some courage left inside of me.

"I spent most of the time thinking actually." He looked up from his meal at me for a long moment, setting his fork down softly.

"About what?"

"I've decided that I would like to have sex with you tonight." I said clearly, placing my hands in my lap in an effort to stop them from shaking. Draco stared at me, his expression completely blank.

"And what made you decide that?" he finally asked, his voice as calm as always.

"Well, this whole not knowing when it's going to happen has set me on an edge lately. Also, I really didn't appreciate the fact that I felt as though it was all up to you. I have no control over my life anymore, and I figured I can have control over this at least. So, with that being said, I would like you to give me a response to my request." My stomach was in knots and I felt slightly light headed; I had never been so forward with another man besides Ron in my life. It had taken us six years to even admit that we fancied each other!

"I will admit that it never crossed my mind that you would ever discuss this with me. It's been very difficult for me to not cross any boundaries you might have, or upset you for something I did or said." He gave me a small smile. "I've already apologized, but I will do so again. I do feel badly for spiking you're drink with that potion, but I had no other choice. With that being said, if you feel like it would be in your best interest to move forward with the arrangements than I see no problem with carrying out the rest of the spell tonight."

"I do have a few questions however."

"Of course you do." His smile was wider this time as he started to eat his meal again, not before asking me to eat something first.

"You mentioned that I would have to have a child with you when I first got here. I was wondering how soon that would have to come about."

"You would need to become pregnant within the next three months for the spell to reach its maximum protection for you and Rosie. If not, then I cannot guarantee the safety of Rosie anymore." I took a large drink of water from my glass, trying to process everything he just told me.

"I had assumed that I would have more time than that." Was all I could think to say, my mind stuck on the fact that I would be pregnant in at most three months.

"We don't." was all he said, running a hand through his hair. "On another note, Blaise has invited you and Rosie over to his house sometime. You would be able to go outside there without worrying about your safety. Blaise's house isn't used as any type of base for death eater activities, no one besides myself and him even know of its location."

"Are you serious? That sounds wonderful!" I jumped in my seat, unable to contain my excitement of actually going outside, of being out of Draco's rooms.

"I thought you might be happy about it. He's got a lovely garden, Rosie would love it." He said thoughtfully, his expression far away.

"Do you have anything else to do today?" I asked when the silence had gone on for longer than I was comfortable with.

"No, nothing in particular. My mother would like to spend some time with me later, but it's nothing that can't be scheduled for another time." He said casually. "I was actually planning on spending some time with Rosie when she woke up from her nap."

"Oh." I smiled. "You want a baby, don't you?" I hadn't realized how important having a child was to him until that moment, although it had been pretty obvious with the way he doted on Rose.

"The thought has crossed my mind more than once lately." He admitted, shrugging.

"Boy or girl?" I didn't have any real reasons for the questions, besides the small factor that I would soon be having this child that he longed for, and it was past time that I got to know the man that would be the father. Narcissa had been right when she told me that her son was not a bad man, in truth, he was actually quite pleasant to be around.

"I would like both, but I know how you feel about having another child already. Since Rosie is here already, I think I would hope for a boy, but I'd be happy with another girl." He avoided eye contact with me as he said this; clearly he was uncomfortable with revealing so much to me.

"Do you have any names?"

"Why are you so interested in this right now? You never ask me so many questions." He studied me, as if he would be able to find out all he wanted by staring at me long enough.

"I just realized that you are going to be the father of my child. I figured I should get to know this new you that you have been trying to get me to see since I've been here, and that I should give you a chance."

"It's just weird is all, you suddenly being so interested in what I want and my thoughts." He pushed his now empty plate forward, leaning back in his chair a bit.

"Well, it doesn't feel right to me not knowing you—what you want, your dreams or hopes for the future, your plans even. You haven't let me down or betrayed my trust since I got here, and you're so kind. It would be wrong of me not to give you a chance to prove yourself at least."

"Acelin." He said suddenly.

"What?" I frowned, tilting my head to the side slightly at his strange and seemingly random outburst.

"If I had a son, I would like to name him Acelin." His ice blue eyes seemed softer as he spoke, the same way they got when he was holding Rose.

_ "Do you even know what you would want to name a boy? All you keep talking about is a little princess, but what if it's a boy?" I laughed at Ron, who frowned at me, his bright blue eyes far away as he thought about it. _

_ "I suppose I haven't really put much thought into the chance that it might be a boy." He said finally, placing a tender kiss on my barely there baby bump. _

_ "You are so strange sometimes Ron. You and Harry haven't talked about this at all?" I ran my fingers through his hair, freshly cut thanks to my nimble fingers. _

_ "Well, we have a bit, but neither of us is really that concerned about the sex of the baby. We just want our children to be born healthy, for their mothers to be safe during the birth, and for both of them to live a long, happy life." _

_ "That's sweet, but seriously. The baby might be a boy, and I want him to have some thought put into his name as well." He gave a dramatic sigh that made me laugh before lying down next to me. _

_ "What about Bryn? Bryn Weasley sounds acceptable to me." _

_ "How does Brynnon Weasley sound? Oh! Brynnon Frederick Weasley!" I exclaimed, loving the sound of it._

_ "There, that sounds perfect. So if we have a girl we'll call her Elizabeth Mae Weasley, and if it's a boy then we'll call him Brynnon Frederick Weasley." He nodded before placing a kiss on my lips. "I like them both, they seem very original to me." _

_ "Do you know what Harry and Ginny are thinking about naming theirs?" I asked, curious._

_ "Harry said something about James Sirius if it's a boy and Lily Luna if it's a girl." _

_ "Those sound like names that Harry would pick." I smiled, glad that Harry was finally getting the family he had always wanted._

_ "Yes, although I'm not sure how I feel about naming a kid after dead people." _

_ "Well, Luna isn't dead. And I can see why Harry and Ginny would want to give the baby those names; all of those people were brilliant in some way or another." _

_ "I just feel like you're placing expectations on them to be great before they are even born, and that just isn't fair." He shook his head. "I mean, I love the fact that you wanted to include Fred in our child's life because my brother was a great person, but I don't want to ever make my son feel like he hasn't lived up to my expectations because he isn't good at pranks or can't tell a good joke to save his life." _

_ "I doubt that that would happen anyways Ron. Harry and Ginny both know that this child is going to be a completely separate individual than who they were named after." _

_ "I suppose you're right, like always." He teased, tickling my sides gently. _

_ "Don't do that!" I shrieked, slapping his hands away from my body as we both laughed. _

"Hello? Anyone in that head of yours?" Draco waved a hand in front of my face, his expression thoughtful.

"Yeah, sorry. I was thinking about something."

"Do you not like the name? We can always think of something else." He looked uncomfortable with the whole situation, which made a smile form on my lips.

"Acelin is a fine name for a boy, and you like it so I don't see why not." I told him gently, my thoughts still on Ron and my pregnancy with Rose.

"You don't have any names that you would want if it's a boy?" he asked, turning my own question on me.

"No," my smile fell as the name 'Brynnon' came to mind. "I don't have any names yet. I was thinking I would wait until the time came. After all, I have nine months after I even get pregnant to think about it."

"Right, of course." He cleared his throat and I knew I had said the wrong thing. Obviously he wanted a child, and it was clear to him that I was not excited about having another baby. "Well, I think I might go and have that visit with my mother now, since we have plans for tonight." At the mention of said plans my stomach became a fluttering mess, and it took me a moment longer to form a response than usual because of it.

"Tell her I said 'hello'." Was all I could think of. He gave me a strange look but nodded before standing up from the table.

"Sure," he walked over to me and kissed me slowly, his left hand coming to rest in my hair and his right cupping my cheek. He placed small, yet firm kisses on my mouth before gently biting my bottom lip, his fingers tightening in my hair as I wrapped my arms around his neck, my hands finding his hair and my fingers digging in a bit as I pulled him closer to me for more. He bit my lip again, a little rougher this time, and lifted me out of my chair, one hand still in my hair—no doubt now tangled in it. Our bodies were pressed close together, but I wanted to be closer still. I pulled him closer as our kiss heated up and he let out a low sound that sounded remarkably like a growl before he moved his lips to my neck, nipping at the skin there before he actually bit my ear. I arched my back into him, my breath hitching as our excitement rose and his hands explored my body like he never had before.

My stomach tightened as it seemed like his fingers were everyone on my body at once, my head getting lighter as all I wanted to do was kiss him forever. I stood up on my tip toes and returned his favor of biting me by placing small, feather-light kisses up and down his neck, enjoying the way his breathing seemed out of his control, and the way his arms tightened around me simultaneously. I bit down a little bit harder than I would like to be bitten, and smiled as he groaned.

"You are an evil witch Granger." He breathed, pulling away slightly.

"Ah, but you started it Malfoy. I can't help if I'm better than you at everything." I retorted, trying to get my heart to slow down.

"If that's what you have to tell yourself to get through the day." He cleared his throat before placing his lips on mine again, much gentler and sweeter than our previous kisses. "You said before that you liked to draw and paint as a child, I brought you some things. I have to go now, but they are on the dresser if you would like to have a look." He kissed me one last time before leaving, his ice blue eyes trying to hide something from me it seemed.

"Get a grip Hermione," I scolded myself as I made my way over to the dresser to see what I would have loved as a little girl. On the dresser was a beautiful tan leather sketch book, with every type of pencil or colored pencil I could think of. Next to the furniture was an easel and a stack of different sized canvases, with a bag full of paint brushes and paints. I stared at the surprise for a long while, wondering how much my friends would hate me right now.

I was literally sleeping with the enemy while Harry was out there risking his life, while Ron had given his up to protect the ones he loved. Not only had I betrayed them, I was actually getting some sick enjoyment out of it. I was entertaining fancies that Draco was this good guy, that I might actually _like_ him! On top of all that, I was letting Draco interact with Rose as if he was her father, which must be my ultimate betrayal to my husband.

I turned away from the thoughtful gift, determined not to use it no matter how much I yearned to draw Rose as she slept, or to paint Narcissa's garden from the window, or Ron's eyes. I would not be painting leisurely while people I loved were out there dying as they fought for what was right, against Draco and what he stood for. I would not be happy while so many others were struck with grief and fear at the thought of another day.

But...

Hadn't Draco _been_ an amazing father figure towards Rose? He spent time with her every day, just the two of them. He loved to hold her, and merlin did she love him. He never did or said anything to hurt my feelings, and he provided everything that we needed. He was always thinking of the future, about the child that we didn't have yet. He was constantly checking in on me to make sure I was eating right, or that I had everything that I wanted. Doing small, completely unexpected things like the art supplies he just got me, or inquiring with Blaise as to if I could use his grounds to go outside because he noticed I missed it.

No matter how much of an arse he was in school, he was anything but that now. I couldn't decide if that would make any difference as to how my friends would feel if they could see me now. I mean, if I put myself in their shoes, I would be livid. How could I do this? Was a really a Gryffindor then, if I just accepted my fate with Draco? I scowled at the bed, completely aware of how low I had come to blame all of my problems on an inanimate object.  
><em>I sat on the grassy hill underneath a tree that offered the perfect amount of shade vs. sun ratio, amused by Ron and Harry's game of wizards chess. <em>

"_You do know that you have to finish the book on the history of the goblin wars in two days right?" I asked them, taking a break from reading it for the second time—I just knew there was going to be a test on the material at some point in the year. _

"_Yeah, but we've heard so much about the book from you in the past two weeks that we figure we have the gist of it." Harry laughed._

"'_Did you know that the goblin's actually have quite strategic military movements, and if they had had magic they could have defeated the witches and wizards?' I mean seriously 'mione, you give us a new fact about every hour. I'm pretty sure you've told us everything about that book." Ron shot me a grin and my heart stuttered for a moment._

"_Well, it __**is**__ fascinating. And I just __**know**__ we're going to be tested on the material at some point. Besides, there are plenty of things I __**haven't**__ said aloud. The book is over 500 pages, so unless you two get started on it today, you're never going to get it done." _

"_I've already got that homework planner you got me for Christmas screaming at me every five minutes to read the blasted book Hermione, I won't forget to get it done." Harry scowled as Ron's Queen beheaded his King. "  
>I know, I'll go get our books now." He said before I could open my mouth. <em>

_ "I was just going to say that you're getting better, it took thirty minutes for him to beat you instead of ten." I shrugged at him and went back to my reading as he took off in the direction of the castle to grab the book. _

_ "You know you could just tell us everything we need to know." Ron said, sitting down next to me. _

_ "Or you could do the assignment like everyone else." I shot back, still reading. _

_ "Would you like to play a quick game of chess before Harry gets back? You still haven't played me, and you promised you would." I put my book down with a sigh, I wasn't going to get any farther until Harry came back to distract him. _

_ "I'm not particularly fond of chess. And besides, I said I would play you if you graduated." _

_ "What kind of incentive is that? I'm going to graduate." He rolled his eyes. _

_ "Not if you put off reading like you're doing now. Did you know that for N.E.W.T.S students have been known to receive a book a night for studies? I heard that Oliver Woods read three books a night two months in advance for his exams, and he __**still**__ didn't get all 'O's." _

_ "Oh thank Merlin you're back Harry," Ron jumped up as Harry came up the hill. "She's telling horror stories about the N.E.W.T.S again!" _

_ "Hermione, what did we say about those?" _

_ "That they wouldn't make you want to stay in school." I glared at the two of them. "I just don't understand how you don't take your studies seriously!" _

_ "__**I **__don't understand how you can socialize with people." He shot back, but he was smiling to let me know it was all in good fun. _

_ "Yes well, I __**do**__, __**and**__ I get excellent marks." _

_ "Well, I play quidditch excellently and have plenty of friends, so I think that means I win." _

_ "I have top marks in our year, I can speak three languages, __**and**__ I know how to drive a muggle car." _

_ "Yeah, and I'm the boy who lived." I stared at Harry in surprise before we all started laughing, and I knew that these were my best friends. _

_**A/N: I am so so so sorry it's taken me this long to get this chapter out. Things are pretty hectic right now, but I promise you I will not give up on this story. It's also been a little difficult for me to write the sex scene because I've never written one before, so I'm trying really hard to make it believable and Hermione is making that very difficult right now haha. So anyways, I will try my hardest to not take this long to post chapter 8, so review or send me a message **_


	8. Chapter 8

**Sigh No More Chapter 8: Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, please make it count. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. **

After Hermione dropped that little surprise on me during lunch I had to leave the room quickly. Her sudden decision to finish the rest of the spell tonight left me confused, not to mention the fact that she didn't seem to care about the child that we would soon have together. It's not that I expected her to be excited like most expecting mothers were, especially since I had given her no other choice, but I didn't think that I would get this reaction from her either. The day had been a long one for me; I had had two meetings with the Dark Lord—one this morning and one this afternoon, and I had almost slipped up and said something about my new family. Blaise always wondered how I made it through anything with the Dark Lord always around me, but I had grown up with it really. I was informed at the age of eleven that I would be the Dark Lords heir if anything were to happen to him, and he had taken a great liking to me and my interests ever since he had come back to full power.

I can remember being made to have 'visits' with him before I knew exactly who he was, where we would play Wizards Chess or he would have me read out loud to him from Latin or French books, once he tried to even teach me Greek, but I couldn't quite wrap my brain around that language and then more important things came along. It was almost as if he regarded me as a son, and in doing so he did not have as many suspicions towards me as he did everyone else. Why would he? I would have to be out of my mind to want to overthrow or defeat someone who was basically offering me the world on a silver platter.

I probably would have been okay with everything as long as my mother was fine, if I had never of met Hermione Granger. How could I be okay with killing people who were like her? She was everything that a witch was supposed to be and then some, and suddenly the Dark Lords plans made no sense. His teachings to me became unraveled as I went to school with a Mudblood who was ten times any witch I had ever met, and we weren't even done with school yet!

It would seem that my entire life changed simply because of one person, but it wasn't just Hermione who helped me realize that everyone was equal; it was my mother, and Blaise, and Pansy.

_"You know, we're best friends. We hang out all the time, we basically do __**everything**__ together! And, we all get really good grades and do really amazing things, so why don't we have a nickname as well?" Pansy said as she flopped down on a green couch, her short black hair slightly mussed up from the wind. _

_ "What are you going on about now?" Blaise raised an eyebrow, elegantly sitting down next to her, his already caramel skin a bit darker from his time spent reading in the sun earlier. _

_ "I __**mean**__, why don't we have a nickname? Those bloody Gryffindor's get called the 'Golden Trio', but we do just as much as they do! Just because Potter's in the group, they get to think they are special." She groaned, throwing a pillow at a passing first year, who shrieked and ran up the stairs to the girls' dormitory. _

_ "Does it really bother you that much Pansy?" I asked, sitting in the chair across from them, closing my book. _

_ "Yes! It bothers me because we're better than them! Weasley doesn't even __**do **__anything!" she exclaimed, her hazel eyes narrowing as she thought about Ron Weasley. _

_ "Well, how about we give ourselves a nickname then, if that will make you feel better?" Blaise placed a hand on her arm softly, his grey eyes warming as he looked at the girl he had known since he was a small child. _

_ "Oh can we? That would be just brilliant Blaise! But how are others supposed to know that it's our nickname?" she tilted her head to the side as she thought out a plan._

_ "We can be the Silver Trio, which sounds much better than the Golden Trio does anyways." Blaise looked at me for confirmation and I rolled my eyes._

_ "I don't understand this need to have a stupid nickname, but I suppose if we have to have one then the Silver Trio doesn't seem so bad." I sighed, opening up my book again._

_ "Oh! And we can bribe the younger years to spread it around so that everyone knows that we are the Silver Trio, and we're better than any stupid Gryffindor any day!" Pansy jumped up from her seat and took off out of the common room, she was on a mission. _

_ "You know, you should probably tell her that your mother and her parents are talking about you two getting married." I advised my friend, eyes never leaving the page I was on._

_ "You know she'll have a hippogriff attack when she finds out, I'd rather just try and win her over myself and then propose myself. It seems nicer that way." He shrugged, taking up more space on the couch now that Pansy was gone._

_ "Yes, but you know that she wouldn't mind being betrothed to you. It could be worse; she could have Crabbe or Goyle." _

_ "Draco mate, you know she wants you." He let out a giant puff of air, shaking his head._

_ "No she doesn't. Not since that night of her party when I told her I wouldn't sleep with her. You know how she gets when she holds a grudge, I'll always be her mate, but now she knows I'll only ever be that." _

_ "I don't know, I would much rather try and win her over myself. Say, have you heard anything about...well, you know?" I glanced sharply around the common room to find that of course we had an audience of younger and older years, trying to eaves drop on our conversation._

_ "I haven't received any new chocolates from my Mother yet, but don't worry brother, I'll make sure to give you some when they come." He looked at me for a full minute before giving a slight nod of his head. No, I hadn't gotten any word from the Dark Lord yet. _

_ "Well, I do think my stomach is telling me its dinner time. Care to come with me to find Pansy and eat?" he stood up quickly, obviously wanting to continue the conversation in a more private area._

_ "Sure, not like there's anything better to be doing." _

I made my way to my mother's rooms, knocking on her tea room door twice before entering.

"Hello dear, I was just about to send Tilly to find you." She was already seated at the antique white table that she had inherited from a great aunt or other somewhere in France as a young girl. She motioned for me to take the chair opposite of her and I did so, glad to be able to relax for a short time.

"Sorry, I know I'm late. Hermione and I were having a serious conversation that couldn't wait."

"Chai tea darling? And that's fine, would you like to talk about it?"

"Chai sounds lovely thank you Mother, but no, I'd rather not discuss it at the moment"

"You know, I didn't want to have a baby as young as I did. I wanted to become a Healer at St. Mungos and then think about having children. In the middle of my seventh year I was told I would be marrying your father, and a month after I graduated from Hogwarts I was married. I didn't have a choice about when I could have children, or how many."

"Mother, I don't think-"I started, but she held up a hand.

"I loved you from the moment I first felt you move inside of me, and I loved you even more when I held you in my arms for the first time. I never regretted not fulfilling my dreams because everything changed once I had you. Now, I know that Hermione is a brilliant young witch, and that she already has Rosie. But you must think of everything from her point of view as well. She's lost everything Draco, her husband, her parents, her friends, her nephew. She can no longer provide any type of life for her daughter besides one in hiding." She stopped to take a sip of tea.

"I know this Mother." I insisted stubbornly.

"Hush up and let me finish. She's starting to understand that you aren't a bad person, but you have been the enemy her entire school career and beyond; and now you want to start a family with her. She's confused Draco, and lost. You can't be upset with her if she feels like a baby isn't the best thing to bring into her life right now."

"Alright, I get what you're trying to say and I appreciate it. But I came here to get away from all of that for a little bit. So, with that being said, how was your day?"

"You always were a stubborn little brat," she said with a smile. "I had a quiet day; I went shopping with Bella this morning for the party I told you about. It's going to be quite spectacular if I do say so myself. Then I spent some time in the garden, working with the tulips. Did you know I can crossbreed a tulip and a dragonlily? They are looking so very beautiful this time of year."

"I'll have to go look at them soon then." I finished my tea and shook my head when she offered me more.

"Have you seen your father today?" she asked, her blue eyes darker, her lips pulled slightly down.

"No, I haven't. I was in meetings with the Dark Lord today and then I had some other business to take care of. He hasn't stopped by to see you?" I frowned, Father had been a bit distant with her lately and it was starting to worry me.

"No, we were supposed to have lunch at Madame Celesta's but he owled me to cancel." She sighed. "That's alright though, he has been busy lately."

"Yeah, but he shouldn't miss lunch dates with you! I never miss my dates with you!" I scowled, suddenly very tired with everything.

"Your father is a busy man Draco, I don't mind if he misses a lunch date every now and again. You must remember, he too is doing what he thinks is best for his family."

"And look where that's got us—"

"Safe and alive with more money than we can ever think to spend." She snapped. "Don't think badly about your father Draco, things were different when we were younger, and the Malfoy's are still one of the strongest families out there."

"Yes, but if the Dark Lord should fail-"

"Don't! Don't you ever say anything like that in this house again do you understand?" she brought her hand down hard on the table, something completely uncharacteristic of her. I looked at her for a long hard moment before standing up.

"I'm sorry to cut our evening short mother, but I do have plans with Hermione tonight. I'll see you tomorrow." I bent over to kiss her cheek, and then left the room quickly.

I walked down the lane to get to the apparation point, and then apparated to Blaise's house, trying to calm down before I went to Hermione tonight.

"Hey mate, what are you doing here? I thought we weren't supposed to meet up until Friday?" Blaise frowned as he opened the door for me.

"I'm not interrupting anything am I?" I asked, following him to his study.

"No, I mean, Pansy is stopping by later for dinner but besides that then no. You aren't planning on spending the night are you?"

"No, are you daft? When was the last time I spent the night at your place?"

"I seem to recall us being sixteen, and you couldn't stand the thought of sleeping in your house with the Dark Lord there over Christmas Break. You showed up at 3am with nothing but your jammies on, and you _might_ have been crying-"

"Shut up, Malfoy's don't cry." I snapped.

"So I've been told, on multiple occasions." I punched his arm as I glared at him. "Fancy a drink mate; you look like you could use one."

"No, I need a clear head tonight."

"Oh," he put the bottle that he had been taking out of a cabinet back in. "What's going on? Is He sending you on some mission?" I looked at him for a moment before laughing, shaking my head.

"Oh gods mate! Thank you, I needed that!" I sat down and sighed. "No, there is no special mission that I have to go on for Him tonight."

"Well, whatever is going on is making you a bit wonky, I mean, you don't normally act like this brother."

"Hermione told me that she wants to have sex with me tonight." I blurted out, unsure of how to bring it up in a regular conversation.

"Alright, and that's a bad thing how?" he looked at me like I was an idiot and I rolled my eyes.

"I never said it was a bad thing. It's just that it was very sudden, and then I had a bad tea with my mother, and those damn meetings with the Dark Lord are going to be the death of me-"

"Alright, slow down." He snapped his fingers and a house elf showed up next to him, bowing low almost to the ground.

"Master needs something?" it squeaked.

"Two glasses of ice water, right away." Blaise didn't even look at the creature, and it bowed once again before leaving.

"I just...I needed to leave the house and collect myself." I ran a hand through my hair, thoroughly messing it up. "I don't have any personal space anymore since Hermione and Rosie."

"That's normally what happens when you have a family." He said a bit mockingly.

"Don't me rude mate," I snapped. "I knew when I took her that I would have to change some things. It's just more difficult than I expected is all."

"Sorry." He said shortly. The house elf appeared again with two glasses of water in its hands, it looked at Blaise quickly for direction. He pointed to the end table that was next to me and the elf set them down before leaving. "Drink some water, since you want a clear head."

"What is wrong with you?" I glared at him, shaking my head. "I can go somewhere else, maybe Diagon Ally or Muggle London to clear my head." I stood up to go and he pushed me back down.

"No, don't go because I'm being a prat. Pansy's just been a bit strange lately." He admitted. "I was using this time to compose myself before she came over to dinner, so I was agitated before you even got here."

"I see, well, I'm here for you if you want to talk about it." I pushed back any thoughts of seeing Pansy lately to the back of my mind. Of course, that brought attention to the fact that I was trying to hide something from him. Most of the time, Blaise and I kept our minds open to each other.

"What do you know?" his grey eyes were suddenly piercing me with suspicion.

"I'm not supposed to tell you, she made me swear." I sighed, wanting to beat my head on a wall.

"Draco, you need to tell me. She's been so strange and distant lately. I just want to make sure she's okay."

"She's fine, I promise you. But this is something she needs to tell you, not me."

"Why the bloody hell would she tell you and not me? I'm her sodden fiancé!" he practically shouted, going to the cupboard to take out the firewhiskey he had offered me earlier.

"If she's coming over here soon, you shouldn't drink." I warned him. "You know she doesn't like it when were drunk."

"Yeah, well she knows I don't like it when she keeps things from me." He stared at the bottle for a moment before putting it back, his shoulders slumped in defeat. "You really won't tell me?" I studied my friend for a while, taking in how tired he looked. I really couldn't have him stressed out like this; I needed him to be in his top form for anything to work out according to plan.

"Oh Merlin's Balls! She's pregnant, and she doesn't know how to tell you or if you'll be excited or not because you both haven't talked about it before. She doesn't want you to be angry with her since she forgot to take a contraceptive potion."

"Pregnant?" Blaise looked in another world as he slowly sank into the chair across from me, his entire body rigid. "I...I wasn't planning on having any children until we had finished with our plans."

"I know, and I'm sorry." I closed my eyes, knowing what I had to do. "I release you from any promises that you have made to me. I know that your child comes first now, and I would never ask you to put yourself in a position to harm your family."

"Draco..." he shook his head, blinking rapidly. "Do you honestly think that I can stop now? We've spent six years of our lives doing this, and I'm not going to just let those go to waste. No, I'm in this until the end brother, for my child and for Pansy."

"Well, that's good." Was all I could think to say, stunned by how much emotion my best friend was letting show. "Just don't let Pansy know that I told you, she'll skin me."

"That she would." He laughed, back to his old self. "So, let me help you with your little problem."

"Let me reassure you that nothing about Draco Malfoy is 'little'." I smirked at him as he rolled his eyes, glad that we were past all that awkward emotional talk.

"Seriously though, what are you here for? The girl you've practically obsessed over is in your rooms, waiting for you to ravish her."

"I don't really think it's like that Blaise." I groaned. "I've never once forced a woman into my bed, and this feels a bit too much like that for comfort."

"**She** asked **you**, did she not?" he pointed out.

"Well, yes. But the spell is still there, and it would have happened eventually."

"When you kiss her, does she kiss you back?" he questioned, stretching his long legs out in front of him.

"Of course she kisses me back." I replied, a little bit insulted that he would think that any girl could refuse a kiss from me.

"Does she make those little sounds that birds make when they like what you're doing?"

"Well yes, most times."

"Then she wants you mate, and she probably feels bad about it."

"Why does everyone keep on telling me that I make her feel bad?" I groaned, hitting my head hard against the back of the chair.

"It's not you per say, it's just that she feels guilty for wanting you, and for wanting what you have to offer her." He took a drink of his water, a small smile on his face.

"That just makes everything so much more difficult." I grumbled, now completely acting like a child.

"It all comes down to this: what do you want from her Draco?" the question seemed so simple, and yet so complicated at the same time. So many things ran through my mind, so many different scenarios; and yet in all of those, one thing was the same.

"I want her to love me."

"Then make her fall in love with you," he shrugged. "Simple as that."

_Sorry for the long wait, I thought I would get this posted before I got swamped with finals and such. Next week is the last of my classes and my 20__th__ birthday so I thought I would spend a bit of time writing for my own present to myself. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think, review please! _


	9. Chapter 9

**Sigh No More Chapter 9: Something in the way she moves, attracts me like no other lover; something in the way she moves, I don't wanna leave her now. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. **

After Draco had left me to run his errands and to spend time with Narcissa, I went and looked in on Rose. She was getting bigger; it was strange to think that I had spent a month with her already. Her hair now just reached the bottom of her ears, curling a bit at the ends. I watched her eyelids flutter as she slept, and for a moment I wondered what it was she saw when she closed her eyes. Her tiny hands twitched, her leg gave a little jerk, and her mouth formed a small smile. My daughter was going to start to crawl soon, and then it was going to be walking and talking.

How could I not do everything in my power to keep her safe? That was my duty as a mother, to her and to Ron who couldn't do it anymore. I turned away from the little crib, torn. A baby should be brought into the world because of love, not for any other reason. I knew I would love the child regardless of the circumstances, but it felt wrong to me. But I knew what I had to do, and I was going to do it. I left Rosie's room and made my way quickly to the library, hoping that Draco had put some books on potions or even spells in there.

I had almost given up when I saw one that might have what I was looking for in it. _Spells and Potions for a Witch_ was interesting to say the least, but it had a spell and a potion version of what I wanted. The potion would take too long, and I didn't want to let Draco in on what I was doing. The spell was complicated, but I was Hermione Granger, and I had only been captured for a month. I wasn't about to lose my touch anytime soon.

_The conception charm has different modes that ensure different types of outcomes. The higher the potency of the spell, the more chance of becoming with child. However, there is also a higher risk of having more than one child depending on how strong the caster of the spell is, and how fertile the man in question is as well. If the need for a pregnancy is dire (we do know that sometimes a baby can save a marriage) then the recommended strength for the spell caster is high. Just repeat the incantation at the bottom of the page, and follow the wand movements as demonstrated in the picture below. For more on pregnancy spells; such as getting rid of morning sickness or easing labor pains, turn to page 321. _

I studied the wand movements and made sure that I was pronouncing the spell correctly before I practiced without my wand for a while. I didn't want to mess the spell up since any spell that you did on yourself could turn out quite dangerous, and I didn't have anyone around to make sure I was okay. After a good twenty minutes I figured it was now or never, and Draco would be back for dinner soon.

Rose was awake and alert when I went back to her room to check in on her. She gave me a smile when she noticed me, and I scooped her up, holding her close to me.

"Are you hungry love?" I asked, already knowing the answer. I knew that Draco and I wouldn't be able to have sex until after Rose was put to bed and asleep, which could make this evening really awkward as we waited and the nerves got the best of me. "Tassie." I called for the house elf, who appeared immediately.

"Yes Missus, what can Tassie do for youse?" she asked as she gave a small curtsy.

"I need a bottle of warm milk for Rosie here, and could you please get started on dinner for when Draco comes back? I would like it to be served up here as soon as he enters the house."

"Is that all's?" She questioned, and I thought for a moment.

"Could you please bring me up a glass of white wine as well." She nodded and disappeared as fast as she arrived. She came back almost the next instant with the bottle and the glass of wine, and set them on the table when I told her too. "Thank you Tassie." I called after her; it was a lot more difficult than I thought to show your gratitude to the Malfoy House Elfs.

I took a rather large sip from my wine glass, and sat down to feed Rosie before she started getting too fussy. She could almost hold the bottle up by herself now; she was getting the control of her muscle motors down. It was endearing the way she placed her small hands over mine while she was eating, and the way she stared up at me, like her blue eyes were searching my brown ones for something.

"Soon, you're going to have a little brother or sister. You two will be half siblings, but you won't know it, not really. I never had any brothers or sisters, but your father...Ron, he had a lot of older brothers and a little sister. They all looked out for each other, and loved one another very much. I know you'll be a good big sister, and you two will be so close in age, barely more than a year apart really." I sighed, ran my free hand through her hair softly as she continued to eat.

"I know that at times its going to seem like I don't love you as much as I do your brother or sister, but that won't be it at all. The baby will just need a little bit more time and attention than I can give to both of you at the same time, and it will be new to me since I missed your first few months." I trailed off as tears started to build up in my eyes. It hadn't occurred to me how it might make Rose feel if I had another baby while she was so young. I wouldn't be able to spend the same amount of time with her as I do now. It was also making me feel like a horrible mother that I wasn't there for her first months, and I was going to be there for this one, while spending less time with Rosie.

"I don't think Rosie will be wanting for any attention. My mother and I will be here to help as well, and I will also be helping with the baby. You aren't going to be doing this alone Hermione." Draco caught me off guard, making me jump a little bit and then look down as I tried to wipe my eyes discreetly.

"You have your duties to attend to, and I wouldn't want you to draw any attention to yourself." I sniffed, hating that I was crying again.

"The spell will be complete by then, and it wouldn't matter if people knew." He took Rosie from me to burp since she was done with her bottle.

"You're the Dark Lords Heir Draco, how do you think it would look to everyone else if they saw you had a family with a Mudblood." I snapped. "What's the point of having a child with me only to get yourself killed?" his eyes softened as he gave me a gentle smile, one he normally gave to Rose.

"Don't you think I have a plan for that?" he let out a deep breath. "I don't plan on marrying, which the Dark Lord knows. He also knows that I have performed the Mistress Spell on you. He understands why I chose you, and he has no qualms on the child we will create together. You must remember, he is a half-blood himself."

"Are you saying if this child is a boy that he is going to want to..." I couldn't finish the thought, I was so appalled.

"He thinks of me like a son Hermione, I've been around him as long as I can remember. However, he won't take any interest in our child until he or she is older." He wouldn't look at me as he said any of this, and I felt a different sort of anger.

"You should have told me this Draco! You should have told me this at the very beginning!" I yelled, standing up and moving away from him.

"And what would have changed Hermione? We would still be exactly where we are right now." He said calmly, still patting Rose gently.

"No we wouldn't! I wouldn't have come back when you let me go get Rose. If I would have known that the child that we were supposed to have together would be used as an instrument for the Dark Lord, I would have broken the Vow, and I would have died." My whole body was shaking with anger now, at the thought that he had used me this way.

"You would have left Rosie with whomever you had placed her with? You would have given her up?" he demanded, a stunned look on his face.

"She would have grown up with her Aunt and cousin, they would have taken care of her and loved her as one of their own. She would have forgotten all about me, and Ginny would have told her I died protecting Harry. They thought I was dead already you know."

"The jokes on you then." He gave me a long, hard look. "I never placed an Unbreakable Vow on you; I didn't want to risk your life like that. I did wandless, wordless magic so that you would think that I had done the Vow. You could have stayed with Ginny, or ran back to Potter." I closed my eyes, an odd feeling passing over me. He didn't want to risk my life, he hadn't actually made the Vow with me. I could have been with Harry right now, helping him defeat Voldemort. And yet I was here, in Malfoy Manor. I had my daughter, and I was having another child whether I wanted to or not.

I stared at Draco for a moment, really trying to take him in. He was protecting me, for some reason I couldn't figure out yet. He had saved me from his Aunt two years ago, he picked me up off his entrance room's floor and claimed me before anyone else could. He found a spell that would not only protect me, but my daughter, and he was only asking for a family in return. He didn't demand that I love him, or that I play wife with him. Only that I respect him, and give him-us-a child that was ours and not just mine.

"Are you hungry?" I asked, going up to him and taking Rose. I grabbed her baby bouncer and buckled her up in it before sitting down at the table.

"What?" his eyes narrowed, a look of confusion on his face.

"I said, 'are you hungry?'. Dinner should be on the table now, actually." Just at that moment the food appeared on the table, and I was happy to see that my glass of wine had been refilled as well.

"Are you serious right now?" he frowned, still standing in the middle of the room.

"Dinner is here, isn't it?" I gave him a small smile; although I'm sure it turned out as a grimace. I took another rather large drink of my wine, and eyed the plate in front of me. Rice, diced potatoes, shredded roast beef under gravy, and steamed broccoli. It smelled delicious, and I took another drink before picking up my fork.

"Are you drinking?" I hadn't heard him walk over, but suddenly he was at my side, sniffing my drink. I snatched it back, setting it down on the table where it belonged.

"I do believe it isn't illegal."

"How much have you had?"

"Are you seriously questioning me on this? I'm an adult Draco; I can have a glass of wine if I want to."

"Are you going to answer the question, or am I going to have to call Tassie up here and ask her myself?" he threatened, although it wasn't much of a threat to be honest.

"By all means, be my guest." I glared, taking another gulp.

"Tassie!" he called, and the little elf was in front of him. "How many glasses of wine has Miss. Granger had?"

"Actually, it's Mrs. Weasley." I interrupted, feeling bitter. Draco's head snapped to me in a look of anger, and he stood up quickly.

"Damn it Hermione! Why do you do this? Every time something good happens between us, or we get close, you do or say something to piss me off. And it's not an accident; you're too smart for that. You do it on purpose, and I never took you for the petty sort."

"Why do you lie and trick me?" I returned, taking a bite of the food in front of me.

"To keep you safe." He said very seriously, and I sighed.

"I've had one glass of wine, I had a few sips earlier, and they refilled it for dinner. I'm not an alcoholic, and I don't solve my problems by drinking. I'll be twenty in a month, and I know that that is well past the legal drinking age in the Wizarding World." I answered in a monotone, pushing the food around on my plate. Draco ran a hand through his hair and dismissed Tassie quickly before sitting down again.

"You changed the subject so quickly, I thought you weren't thinking properly." He explained as much as he would, and I shrugged.

"I didn't want to talk about it anymore." Was all I said, taking another bite.

"I don't want you to be mad at me." He said softly, reaching a hand over the table to place over my own.

"I'm not mad at you Draco, I'm just tired. I didn't want to fight tonight."

"Then we won't. Did you have the house elves prepare this before I got home?" he asked, taking a few bites himself.

"I figured you would be hungry, you didn't eat as much as you normally do for lunch."

"You never miss anything. I always wondered how you did so well in school, now I know you were just really observant, and knew how to suck up to all the teachers." I looked up to give him a piece of my mind to see that he had a smirk on his face that I had come to know as his joking one. I used to think that there was only one way to smirk, but Draco had a smirk for everything.

"You wish that was the reason I kicked your arse at everything."

"I beat you in herbology, and in Quidditch." He pointed out.

"Yes well, that's because I don't like Herbology, or Quidditch." I gave him a smirk of my own as I got up from the table.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm done eating, and I need to give Rose a bath before she falls asleep. We spent more time arguing than I realized, and we still have plans for the night." He opened his mouth to no doubt tell me that he didn't want to do anything tonight, but I had already picked up Rose and left the room.

As I bathed Rose I tried my hardest not to think about what had happened earlier. The thoughts were hard to keep in however, and I felt this pit in my stomach, practically ordering me to find out why Draco Malfoy was so intent on protecting me. There was too much at stake for me to not go through with my plans tonight, and he obviously wasn't playing some intricate prank on me; it was much too dangerous for him and his mother.

Narcissa had stopped by multiple times during the last month to spend time not only with Rose, but with me surprisingly. She would tell me stories about Draco growing up, and about her own adventures at Hogwarts in exchange for hearing about mine. She was kind, generous, and regal. I never had understood the concept of Purebloods and how they were treated as a sort of nobility. But spending time with Narcissa made me realize that they _were_ nobility. It was etched in their core, it was what they were raised to be.

_"Well well well, what do we have here? A nice little family reunion?" Bellatrix Lestrange sang, her once lovely features now twisted by madness. _

_ "Oh come now, I really don't want to play with them today Bellatrix." Theodore Nott, a boy I had competed in class with, said dryly. He looked absolutely bored, like he wasn't holding four people at wand point, one obviously pregnant. _

_ "Be quiet Nott!" Bellatrix snapped, her features sharper than before in her anger. "Now Potter, it seems you've started yourself a little family." She laughed when she said 'family', as if the concept was a joke. _

_ "There's two of you, and four of us. Not only do you work for the man who killed my parents, but you killed Sirius; your own cousin. I won't hesitate to kill you this time, not with my wife and child here." I glared at Nott as Ron slowly stepped in front of me, practically blocking my view of the entire situation. There was something in Bellatrix eyes when she looked at Ginny's swollen belly, some kind of hatred that went beyond her duty for the Dark Lord. _

_ "Do you honestly think that you can kill me? You didn't have the guts to do it before, and I doubt you do now. If you come with me now Potter, I won't hurt your pretty little wife." _

_ "Don't do it Harry, I can get Ginny to safety if you and Ron hold them." I knew I could get Ginny out of here no problem, and yet there was something in the back of my head that made this situation a lot scarier than it normally was. I was trying not to panic, because if something happened to me, then something happened to the baby. _

_ "Oh, I almost forgot about you Mudblood. How do you like my penmanship? I believe that the word looks lovely on your arm." She sneered at me. _

_ "It reminds me every day why I'm still fighting." I lifted my head, refusing to let her see how scared I was. _

_ "I'm going to enjoy killing you Mudblood; I'll do it slowly while I make your friends watch." _

_ "Hermione, get Ginny out of here." Harry took his eyes off of Bellatrix to make sure I had heard him, and I saw Ron leap away from me before I saw the brilliant green light, and then watched him as his body fell, dead before it had even hit the ground. A sound came from my throat that wasn't completely human, and I turned to see the amused look on Bellatrix's face, as if she had just done something funny. _

_ "You BITCH!" I screamed, throwing curse after curse at both of them. I wasn't thinking, there was nothing I could think besides Ron. Ron. Ron. Ron. Ron. _

_And I hated them; I hated them for taking him away from me! I hated them for taking away my baby's father, and I was going to kill them. There was a constant stream of light shooting from my wand at either Bellatrix or Nott, and they barely had any time to switch to the offensive because after Harry had gotten over the shock of his best mate dying, the anger set in for him as well. _

_ I remembered telling Ron that I would never want to kill another human being, and yet I had read all those books on dark curses just to see what we were up against. I had told myself that I would never use any of these, and yet here I was, standing just two feet from my husband's body, shooting every dark curse I could think of. Nott stumbled and held a very bloody gash on his neck with his free hand, now completely devoting his time to defending himself. _

_ Bellatrix no longer had a smile on her face; instead her eyes were wide with disbelief, as if she couldn't believe this was happening. _

_ "We have to leave Bellatrix, or they are going to kill us!" Nott shouted at her, and I watched as she frowned, but nodded. _

_ "NO!" I screamed, stepping even closer to them and away from Ron. "You don't get to leave Bellatrix. You don't get to run away after killing him. Not this time, no. How about I return the favor?" she looked confused, but I aimed my wand at her arm before she could think to defend herself from me since Harry and Ginny were still firing curses at them. I watched in satisfaction as the letters slowly formed on her arm, the same time of permanent curse that was used on my own skin by her. _

_**I will kill you**__. It was harsh, and completely unlike me, but I meant it. I would kill her eventually, and I wanted her to look down at her arm every single day and know that she was going to die, and it was going to be by my hands. She screamed in rage but got hit by a curse from Ginny. She grabbed ahold of Nott, and then they were gone. _

_ "Hermione, I need you to take Ron back to the camp alright? I've got to get Ginny back safely, and then I'll meet you. I'm sorry." Harry wanted to stay and comfort me, I know, but Ginny was sobbing over Ron and I knew that she was his first priority. I walked over slowly, unable to look at him just lying there completely still while they were still here. I grabbed ahold of his cooling arm, closed my eyes, and apparated us away. _

**Hey guys, so this was the buildup! Her remembering Ron's death and bringing back the memories are her own way of reminding herself that he's dead, and that doing this with Draco isn't a crime. She's basically giving herself permission in a way. Also, I have a question. ****If you remember, the spell and potions book that Hermione read said that if the spell caster was very strong, multiple children could be the product. Message me or review and let me know, how many babies should Hermione and Draco have this pregnancy? Also, names!**** For boys and girls, since that is going to be a surprise Next chapter should be fun, and also show a bit more of Draco's plans! Hope everyone is having a great summer!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Sigh No More Chapter 10: Can you lie next to her, and give her your heart as well as your body and can you lie next to her, confess your love as well as your folly. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. **

**A/N: **_**I normally don't place these up here, but I wanted to let everyone know that I have a poll on my profile page about the baby name(s). If you would like to put your opinion in, please go there and vote. I will be taking it down in two weeks. Also, the song lyrics I used for this chapter are from Mumford and Sons 'White Blank Page'. Check it out, it's a great song! **_

When Hermione left the room I called a house elf to clean up our dinner, and then paced the room. I scowled when I realized that I was in fact nervous-as if I had never had sex with a woman before. There was no reason to be nervous, I scolded myself. Sure, this might be different because I actually cared about this woman; I was planning on starting a family with her- I already had in a way with Rosie.

I had been wearing a suit since I had had a business meeting with my father and the Dark Lord earlier, so I shrugged out of the jacket and undid a few buttons as if that would help me relax. I thought about calling up a house elf to get me a shot of firewhiskey, and then changed my mind. I wanted a clear head when Hermione was ready; I wanted to be able to remember every single detail, to see her reaction to me.

I let out a loud sigh as I noticed that nothing I was doing or thinking about was helping the tension leave my body, so I decided to go to my office-the room next to Hermione's library. I sat down in my leather chair at the desk and opened up the secret compartment that was enchanted to actually be hidden from magical and muggle eyes. This drawer contained half of the plans that Blaise and I had come up with for destroying the Dark Lord and his empire, the other half was at Blaise's. We both made sure we had nothing to incriminate the other if one was caught, and most of it would be near impossible to understand since we had decided to write most of our information down in code.

I took out the top parchment, looking at a picture of my cousin Arcturus Black that had been taped to the page. He had the same aristocratic features that my mother had the same straight, sharp nose. But the family resemblance ended there; his hair was midnight black and fell to his shoulders. It would have been feminine if he hadn't of tied it back like my father did some days. His eyes were a stormy gray, as if the turmoil inside of him was showing itself. At 23 he was young as far as death eaters go (if you excluded the new recruits), but obviously older than myself.

His mother had been disowned from the Black Family after marrying a muggle-born when her husband Aries Black had died. I had been eleven at the time and remembered my mother crying because she had quite liked Mirabella. My father had made several offhanded comments about what a waste of a good pureblooded male-speaking about Arcturus of course-and had suggested once that we could take him in.

Bellatrix had cut him off with a sharp reminder that while the Dark Lord had no quarrels with faithful Half-bloods, Muggle-borns were a poison that spread. She had made herself clear that Arcturus would only bring our family down, and that had ended any discussion about my cousin coming to live with us instead of his traitor mother.

_"Draco, Arcturus is here to visit!" My mother called from the foyer, as if she didn't know that I had been waiting at the top of the stairs for the last hour to see my cousin. Even though I was only six and he was ten, I looked up to Arcturus almost as much as I did my father. He was always so much fun to play with, and the adults loved to have him around because he acted so 'mature' as they always said. _

_ "Coming, Mother!" I replied, reminding myself to walk down the stairs instead of running like I wanted to. Arcturus had told me at the Christmas party that the adults liked us much better if we walked everywhere unless they told us to hurry. He also told me that the only time he ever acted like an adult was when they were around. _

_ "Draco, you've grown since Christmas!" Uncle Aries smiled down at me. He was my favorite uncle because Uncle Lestrange was Aunt Bellatrix's husband which meant he wasn't really my uncle by blood; and father told me that blood mattered more than anything besides gold. _

_ "Thank you Uncle Aries." I said, giving him a proper bow like my mother had taught me. _

_ "And he has such manners! Narcissa, I must say you have done a wonderful job with this one. When can we expect another little Malfoy from you and that husband of yours?" Uncle Aries asked this every time he saw my mother since I could remember and my mother always blushed. She never blushed unless she was talking to Uncle Aries. _

_ "Uncle Aries!" She chided, smoothing out her dress. _

_ "Mother, how can he be your uncle if he's my uncle?" I frowned, stumped. I prided myself at my ability of knowing who everyone was and how they were connected to each other. My father always looked at me with pride when I remembered who people were and didn't have to be introduced again. _

_ "Well, your Grandfather Black was my brother. You know what that means right?" Uncle Aries looked at me with his light gray eyes that always seemed to twinkle. No one else I knew had eyes that shined like that besides Arcturus._

_ "That means that Grandfather Black is my Mothers Father. So you're my mother's father's brother." _

_ "Correct! This means that I am your mother's uncle, and that makes me your great-uncle, but I like it better when you call me uncle. Makes me feel less old." Uncle Aries gave me another grin as he patted my cheek affectionately. Another reason why I liked Uncle Aries better than Uncle Lestrange; he was nice. It was a nice change in attitude from what I was used to most of the time, and I always enjoyed when Uncle Aries visited. _

_ "Alright Uncle Aries," I gave him a smile in return. "Hello Arcturus, do you wanna go play?" _

_ "I thought you'd never ask. Father, Cousin." He bowed slightly to his father and to my mother, and we made our way outside quickly, making sure we were out of our parent's sight before we took off in a run. _

_ We played Goblins and Dragons, had a contest to see who could produce to most interesting magic (Arcturus won since he was older), and then he told me of his travels to Australia with his father. My mother called for us to come in for dinner when it was starting to get dark, and I was thrilled to find that Uncle Aries and Arcturus were spending the night. _

_ "Have you ever heard of the monster called the automobile?" Uncle Aries asked me after dinner when we were all in the sitting room. _

_ "No! Did you fight one?" I looked up at my uncle in wonder, completely at awe in how much he knew._

_ "Fight one? I was __**inside**__ one!" he exclaimed, as always with a smile on his face._

_ "Don't fill his head up with silly notions Aries, I want him to grow up sensible." My father scowled, and my mother quickly lost her smile. _

_ "I was only telling him a tale Lucius, I would have told him before he went to bed." Uncle Aries gave my father a hard look, but my father was never intimidated by other people. He always told me that a Malfoy was better than any other person I would ever meet. _

_ "An automobile is a contraption that muggles use to get around instead of brooms, portkeys, and flooing somewhere." My father ignored Uncle Aries as he explained to me what it really was, and I felt as if someone had turned down the lights. _

_ "I'd like to go to bed now, please." I replied, a frown on my face. _

_ "Look, you've upset the boy. He's only six for Merlin's sake, let him be a child." Uncle Aries glared at my father, who glared back. _

_ "What, so he can run around never having been disciplined in his life? Draco will carry on the Malfoy line, he must be brought up in the proper pureblood ways. He will honor his name and this family, and everyone will know who he is." My father gave a look of disdain towards Arcturus. "Do you honestly think that boy of yours will honor the Black name?" _

_ "My boy will honor the Black name once he has become a man, because he was given the freedom to be who he is as a child. I do not place impossible expectations on my son and then punish him for failing Lucius."_

_ "Do not tell me how to raise my son." _

_ "Go to bed now boys, it's alright." My mother told us quietly, and we both left as fast as we could. _

I shook my head and stood up from my desk, figuring that Hermione would be finished giving Rose her bath. When I reached Rose's room I stopped in the doorway, smiling as I watched Hermione dry her daughter with gentle hands. She always talked to Rose when she thought no one was around, and it was never any of that gibbering nonsense that people normally spoke when they were around babies.

Hermione had conversations with her daughter, talked to her as if she understood everything that she was saying. And the words were always spoken with such love and tenderness; I could remember a point in time when my own mother spoke to me in such a manner-and the moment she stopped.

"Would you like to lay her down Draco? She always falls asleep faster for you." Hermione asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"That's because you talk to her when you put her to sleep, and it keeps her focused on something." I gave her a smirk but took Rose from her, sitting in the rocking chair.

"I can't help it. She looks at me with those pretty blue eyes and I feel like I have to share all my secrets to her." She shook her head and gave a small laugh, biting her bottom lip before she realized what she was doing. She blushed when she saw I had noticed, turning her head.

"Yes well, all you have to do is rock her and be quiet. She falls asleep in about ten minutes tops." I informed her, watching as Rosie's eyes fluttered open and closed. The little bugger was fighting sleep, as if she could stay up.

"Then I'll leave you to it." Hermione walked over and placed a kiss on Rosie's forehead. "I love you darling, sleep tight." I watched her leave before turning my attention back on Rose, which helped ease my anxiety about what I was going to do tonight.

It took a little bit longer than ten minutes since she was being stubborn tonight, but I finally laid her in her crib, placing the unicorn I had gotten her close so that she would have something to snuggle with. I made sure that the nightlight was on before I closed the door, and the tension rushed back at me. I had a moment of complete panic before I mentally punched myself. I was Draco Malfoy, _the Slytherin Sex God _for crying out loud. There was no way in hell she wasn't going to enjoy herself tonight, and any other night we decided to have sex.

I found her sitting in the living room, a book open on her lap. I knew she wasn't reading because she never read when she was nervous. At least when I was involved she didn't. I walked up behind her, not hiding the fact that I was there, and swept her hair off one shoulder, leaving the side of her neck visible. I watched the goosebumps pop up on her body, and saw her shoulders rise as she took a deep breath.

"No talking right now Hermione." I said, leaving a trail of kisses from her collar bone to her ear. I gave her ear a bite since I noticed she had liked it the last time I did it, and was rewarded with a rather shaky exhale as an answer. I intensified my actions, nipping her skin as I did another lap before turning her head to the side so that I could kiss her properly.

She closed her eyes, but not before those warm brown orbs seem to pierce something inside of me. She had shown me that she was vulnerable right now, that I had the power to hurt her, and she trusted me not to. That look meant more to me than anything had given me in the last few years alone.

I placed my lips over hers hungrily, eagerly, and she gave in. She let herself feel everything that I was giving her without holding anything back, and that made this kiss so much more than any of the others. I broke it to walk over to sit on the couch next to her, then changed my mind and decided to pull her onto my lap, facing me. This time she didn't wait for me to make the first move, she leant down and kissed me herself. Her hands found their way to the back of my head, and she ran her hands through my hair, occasionally tugging on it when I did something she particularly liked.

I let my hands wander her body, grazing her breasts lightly to see what kind of reaction I would get. She ground her hips into mine softly, but it was enough to encourage me to go on. I teased her body with my fingers as they travelled down her sides, slowly lifting her shirt up over her head. She broke the kiss enough for me to get it off, and pressed her lips to mine as soon as the fabric was off her body. I found the clasps to her bra and unhooked them expertly, pushing it off her body and breaking away from her kiss to pay attention to that lovely neck of hers.

Her breathing was fast already, and I smirked against her collarbone when it hitched as I bit her there. Her hands were still wrapped in my hair and she tugged on it hard as I took her right breast in my mouth. She let out a noise that sounded a bit strangled, as if she was trying to keep from crying out. That wouldn't do, so I grabbed her left breast with hand and began to tweak the nipple as I continued to suckle the other.

She arched into me, grinding against me again, her center finding my erection. She gasped when she had felt my arousal, and I could tell by the way her hips passed over mine again harder that she liked what she felt. One of her hands drifted from my hair to my shoulder, and she let her fingers dig in roughly. I couldn't stop the sound of pleasure that escaped my mouth, and I bucked my hips against hers.

"Shirt off, now." She demanded, tugging on my collar. I laid her down on the couch, working on the buttons on my shirt as fast as I could. I tossed the piece of clothing on the ground before settling over her, finally able to take her in. She was beautiful, her chest rising and falling as she breathed, which made her breasts move in the most erotic way. I cupped one in my hand and smirked-they fit in my hands perfectly.

"You're lovely." I told her, meeting her eyes with my own. They were half closed, and a wonderful shade of pink dusted her cheeks, giving her a glowing look.

"You're not too bad yourself." She murmured, letting her hands explore my chest and stomach.

"You sound almost shocked." I said, a bit insulted. I mean honestly, I'd been playing quidditch more than half my life, of course I was fit.

"You just never showed it off like some of the other boys, so I never expected." She explained, her face turning a darker shade.

"Yes well, you've been hiding a lot too." I teased, leaning in to kiss her again. I placed my arms on either side of her, holding my weight off of her so that she would still be comfortable, and she alternated between tracing my back and my stomach with her fingers. When I bit her bottom lip gently she ran her nails down my back, and I rubbed my now aching member against her in an attempt to ease the pain. Merlin that had turned me on, and the witch knew it!

She grinned against my mouth and did it again, pushing herself into me, and then encouraging me wordlessly to continue. I growled and lowered my head to her chest again, enjoying the sounds she made as I paid attention to both her breasts this time.

Her motions against me became more erratic and I let one of my hands make their way to the top of her jeans. I hesitated for a moment when I reached her button, and then practically tore it off when she thrust herself up against my now straining erection. I pulled her pants and her panties down at the same time, enough for my fingers to explore her gently.

Merlin was she wet, and I moaned when I felt the heat radiating off of her. I pressed two fingers to her and she let out a strangled cry, writhing underneath me. I moved my mouth over hers as I slipped two fingers inside her, wishing more than anything that my cock. She was so wet, and as I pumped my hand I added a third finger gently, wanting to make sure she was ready for me.

Her hips moved in time with my hand, and I could tell something was missing, so I rubbed my thumb against her clit, which caused her to let out the most delicious sound I had ever heard. I sucked on her neck for a moment, wanting to mark her as my own, but also to concentrate on performing a quick wandless, wordless spell to get the rest of my damn clothes off without having to stop my attentions to her.

I picked up the speed on my hand, and rubbed her clit a little more vigorously before I felt her body tightening around my fingers. I could see the tension building in her, and I worked all the harder to bring her to release. She came with a loud cry of my name, and I used that time to push inside of her quickly, groaning as I felt her clench around me.

Her mouth was next to my ear and I heard her ragged breathing, her fingers were digging into my back in a painfully pleasurable way, and I couldn't help but thrust into her a bit more until I was buried to the hilt in her warmth.

** "**Oh Merlin Draco," she panted, wrapping her legs around my waist. "I need you to move, or I'm going to die."

"I doubt you'll die," I managed a small laugh at her dramatics, but was quite pleased with her reaction. "But you feel like heaven right now. Just one more moment." She groaned and moved her hips against mine, causing me to shift in her in a very pleasurable way.

I pulled almost all the way out of her before moving back in slowly at first a few times, before she became a little too much for me to bear. Soon I was thrusting in and out of her at a mad pace, her hips rising to meet my motions desperately, as if we couldn't move against each other fast enough. When I felt the tension starting in my body I buried myself to the hilt in her again, barely moving in and out of her.

I had angled myself at just the right place to rub against her clit with my body, and that was enough that she was still getting pleasure from me, but not enough for either of us to reach our climax.

"Why are you torturing me?" she moaned as I moved against her slowly. "I was so close!"

"I'm not done yet," I breathed, trying to maintain control of my actions and finding it extremely difficult when she kept tightening herself around me. "I'm not done yet." I repeated, too focused on her to make any sense. She reached up and started placing kisses on my neck down to my chest, and then she bit me; hard. "Oh gods!" I moaned, unable to stop myself from pulling out and thrusting back into her.

She bit me again on the shoulder this time, and I pushed into her harder than I had before, causing her to let out a cry of pleasure.

"Right there!" she panted, eyes hooded. I wrapped my arms under her back until I was gripping her shoulders, and thrust into her hard and fast and she let out another moan. "Oh yes! There!"

I continued that pace and force until my body felt as if it was tingling everywhere, suddenly intensifying and then exploding before I could stop or slow myself down to make sure she was right there with me. There was nothing else but the buzzing in my ears and the bright light in my eyelids for a while, before I realized that Hermione was stroking my hair and that I had been lying on top of her.

"You could have shoved me off." I managed to get out after another moment.

"After that?" she smiled at me. "No, I rather liked being that close for a little bit."

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." I smirked, then placed a soft kiss against her lips.

"Well of course I did, you made sure of it. I came so close so many times, and then you would just stop, or slow down. I would have hit you if it didn't feel so good." She seemed to catch what she had said a moment after she said it, and her cheeks flushed even more than they already were.

"Well, I don't like to finish so fast and you were making it difficult." I kissed her again as she rolled her eyes. "Thank you."

"For what?" She frowned, head tilted to the side.

"For trusting me."

**Alright, so there it was. My first ever smut scene. Took me forever to write, and I'm still not very sure of it. If you liked it please let me know, and also please review! I've decided that people who review will get a special one-shot (about Blaise and Pansy) that will not be posted until after the next chapter is out. I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! And don't forget, the poll for the baby names is on my profile! Please go there and vote! **


	11. Chapter 11

**Sigh No More Chapter 11: Who will love you? Who will fight? Who will fall, far behind? **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

_**A/N: So, I've decided that after this chapter is posted I am taking down the poll for the baby names. Only two people have voted so far, which is fine since I like all the names anyways. Also, I promised a one shot for those of you who reviewed last chapter. I will post that soon! Anyways, on with the chapter! **_

I felt as though I was walking through a dream that I would never wake up from. Two months had passed since the night Draco and I had finished a third of the spell, and I had known for a month now that I was indeed pregnant. I had decided not to tell Draco yet, since I wasn't sure of my plans. When he had revealed to me that the Dark Lord would be involved in this baby's life, I felt as if Draco had covered me with a false blanket of security only to rip it off. No matter what I wanted for Rose, I knew that I couldn't allow my innocent child to be given freely to that monster.

There was no denying that I was attracted to Draco on a physical level; he was unquestionably good-looking and held himself with a very attractive amount of confidence. He was always so sure of himself and his capabilities that I found it hard not to get sucked in. And being intimate with someone after losing Ron...was difficult at first. I had found myself feeling extremely guilty that first night as I laid in Draco's arms while he slept. I felt disgusted with myself that I had enjoyed it as much as I did, and while I knew in my mind that Ron was gone, my heart felt as though I had betrayed him by given my body to another man.

And yet, I continued to give myself to him in the hopes of protecting Rose as long as I could. If Draco hadn't of told me about the Dark Lords plans to be involved in my child's life, I don't doubt that at some point I would have gotten quite comfortable in this new, yet comfortable, life. As it was though, he did tell me, and I couldn't just sit idly by and allow it to happen.

I wasn't showing yet, and had no bouts of morning sickness for which I was grateful. Rose was getting so big at six months it was unbelievable that less than a year ago she was growing inside of me. She could stay sitting up by herself now, and loved to talk in her own little language. When I would tell her stories now she would make cooing and gibberish sounding noises back at me, or when she was excited about something. Her smiles were bigger and brighter, and she could crawl after me if I let her.

Her mahogany colored hair waved gently at her ears, and I smiled as I thought of when Draco had gotten her ready the other day. He had placed her hair in little pigtails that stuck out in an adorably cute manner, with matching pink ribbons to go with her shockingly pink dress. I had teased him mercilessly about buying her the outfit when he showed it to me, but he had only replied with 'pink is a little girls best color'.

"What are you thinking about?" A smooth, deep voice that wasn't Draco's shocked me out of the memory. I turned around to see a tall, caramel colored man with rich, earth colored eyes. He was dressed in all black, which at first glance seemed simple, and yet on closer inspection you could see that the fabrics were of the most expensive material, and tailored perfectly to his frame.

"Nothing, just a silly memory." I replied, a bit hesitant. I tried to keep my face a mask as I thought of my options. Rose was asleep in her room, which was down the hall and out of the way some. Draco had left a few hours ago for some business and hadn't told me when he would be coming back. My wand was in my pocket, but still had the restrictions that Draco had placed upon it, so I couldn't really inflict damage if this situation turned dangerous for me.

"It looked very peaceful." He gave me a soft smile and I frowned openly. "Ah, you don't remember me do you?"

"Am I supposed to?" I said warily, wondering if I had met him in a fight of some sorts and he wanted retribution.

"Well, for my own ego I just assumed that you would." He gave a small laugh and shook his head. "We were in the same year at Hogwarts, although I was in Slytherin which might be why you don't recall me."

"I would have remembered..." I stopped what I was saying and stared at him a bit harder, imaging a bit of a softer face and less of a build. "Blaise Zambini, fourth in our year. Although you never played Quidditch, or taunted the Gryffindor's like most of the other Slytherin's did." I realized, a small smile gracing my face. "Draco said that you had offered me your gardens to walk in, that was very kind of you."

"So you do remember." His smile was wide, and only made him that much more attractive. Really, these Slytherin's were a much too attractive lot. But then again, Snake's drew their prey in with their hypnotizing powers, so I suppose beauty was another form of that.

"I do," I nodded, now a bit calmer. Although I was still suspicious of what he was doing here when Draco was clearly not. "What brings you here today?"

"I thought I would stop by and visit an old classmate of mine," he shrugged. "And from what I've heard, you haven't had much company besides my friend and his mother."

"I have Rosie to keep me on my toes." I gave him a smile. It was nice to be around someone who had never given me any problems for being who I am. It was strange to feel this trust for someone who was serving on the opposite side of what I stood for, but he had never looked down on me the way Draco had while we were in school.

"Yes, so I've heard. I have another reason for coming here today actually."

"Oh, what would that be?" I watched him as he looked over my painting that was placed in front of the window. It was just an eye, but one I knew was etched perfectly and permanently in my mind.

"I've come to invite you and your daughter over to my house for a late lunch with my fiancé. You might remember her as well-Pansy Parkinson?"

"I seem to recall a Pansy back in school." Was my controlled response. Pansy Parkinson had been a living nightmare to me at Hogwarts; always mocking me with insults about my blood, taunting me whenever she got the chance. "I'm not very sure she would like to have lunch with me."

"It was her idea." He said much to my surprise. "So, would that be a yes or a no?"

"I...I'm not sure if Draco would-"I began, completely furious that I sounded like a controlled little girl.

"I've already talked with him about it, and he thought it was a wonderful idea. Get you out of these rooms, and I'm sure Rose would love to crawl about the garden." He sounded to sincere that I couldn't help but smile.

"I'd have to pack some things for her, and wake her up from her nap."

"What are you waiting for?" he motioned for me to be about my business and I gave him one last look before taking off to the nursery to do just that. I transfigured a pillow to turn into a diaper bag and made sure to pack a couple sets of extra clothes just in case, some bottles with formula, a few jars of organic baby food that Narcissa had bought by the ton, and of course her diapers. I also packed a few toys to keep her entertained and a blanket she could lay on if she got tired. I looked at my own outfit and shrugged; Narcissa had made sure my closet was filled with something that a pureblood wife would wear. It was insulting at first to have to wear nothing but dresses and I felt completely out of place in them, but no one was around to see me in them anyways.

I picked up Rose as gently as I could, hoping to keep her asleep until I absolutely needed to wake her up. She stirred for a moment and opened one sea blue eye at me in glare before being pulled back to her dreams. When I returned to the main rooms I saw Blaise going through my paintings, and to my embarrassment he was holding one in particular.

"You've captured the mood of the battle and yet there's something there that I didn't feel...that I can't identify." He said, not turning around to face me. I swallowed, unable to voice what I felt. My paintings were personal, private. Even Draco never looked at them.

"I..."He turned around to face me, the painting still in his hands. "How are getting to your house?" he seemed to be able to sense that he had over stepped a boundary with me and gently set the painting down.

"You'll be flooing there with Rose, and I'll be following you." I nodded, wishing I could get out of the house if only to apparate. "Draco doesn't want you apparating anywhere." He added, and I frowned.

"Why wouldn't he want me apparating?" I puzzled the question over in my head, blushing when I realized the answer. "Oh, I see."

"He's just being cautious you know. He doesn't want it to hinder any progress the two of you might have made in your efforts to conceive." I looked away from him, completely uncomfortable with the topic change.

"It doesn't affect the baby you know, I apparated when I was with Rose until I was around seven months." He studied me for a moment and I caught my slip, my eyes widening.

"Why haven't you told him yet?"

"Does he suspect?" I countered his question with my own.

"No, not really. You should tell him—he'd be overjoyed." Blaise looked at me hard, obviously not liking the fact that I was keeping this from his friend.

"I'll tell him, I only just found out I was." I lifted my chin up in challenge, daring him to say something else.

"That's normally something you share with the other person right away." He scolded me, his eyes not as soft as they were when we had first talked.

"Yes, when you've chosen to be in a committed relationship it normally is." I snapped, not entirely sure I wanted to go over to Blaise's house anymore. That seemed to shut him up, and he frowned at me.

"You know he's not a bad person Hermione." He said after we stood there in silence for what seemed like forever.

"You're not me Blaise, and you're not in my position."

"You should be grateful! He's keeping you and your daughter safe from everything that's happening on the outside! So many people would kill for this opportunity."

"And so many people **are**." I glared at him. "Don't think that for one minute I would rather be here, in this house where I was tortured by his family, then out there with my loved ones fighting for what I believe in." He opened his mouth to talk and I cut him off. "I feel useless, like I've betrayed everyone and everything I stood for, and I'm stuck here. Do you think I enjoy being dressed in these fancy clothes? That I like having house-elves waiting on me hand and foot? That I welcome the embrace of a man whose Aunt killed my husband? And now he's playing father to our daughter?" I blinked back the tears, surprised by my sudden outburst and anger.

"So after all he's done for you, you still don't care?" Blaise inquired, a frown marring his normally smooth features. "You would rather live in fear surrounded by death then here, where someone is taking care of your every need?"

"You all are ridiculous!" I laughed, shaking my head. "I don't **need** anyone to take care of me. I'm not some delicate pureblood girl who's never seen death, who's never faced fear. I fight my own battles Mr. Zambini, I have my own strength. Now all that's taken away from me, and I've been forced into having another child with a man I don't love. No, don't you dare tell me that I should be **grateful**."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed you. It's not my place." He gave me a charming smile, as if that would make me forget my anger. "Let's continue on our way then yes? I'm sure Pansy is getting impatient, we're a bit late." He led me out of Draco's rooms and down the hallway, and I held my wand tightly in my free hand. Draco had never taken me out of his rooms, and suddenly I felt a deep anxiety take over me.

"Why can't we use the fireplace in the rooms?" I questioned, keeping closer to the one person that I hoped I was safe with.

"The one in the library has more space, and it's faster. We'll have to take two trips since you have Rose—we both won't fit in the fireplace. You go first." He opened the door to the library for me with a dramatic flourish and I forced a smile out, not pausing to take in the amazing room in front of me.

"Thank you." I nodded my head at him and made my way to the fireplace, grabbed a handful of floo powder, and stepped inside.

"Say 'La Casa Delle Rose' very clearly."

"The House of Roses? Not very masculine." I mentioned casually, my mind racing.

"Si parla italiano? Sei fluente?" he questioned me, a large grin making him look like the young man he was.

"I miei genitori mi portarono lì in vacanza molto come un bambino. E 'scortese non parlare la lingua madre del paese che si visita." I replied, a little distractedly.

"Wonderful! I look forward to talking with you more when we get to my house." He motioned for me to go and I smiled at him, the first genuine one since our argument.

"The feeling that you couldn't identify in my painting...its hope." I threw down the floo powder and said my destination before he had a chance to reply.

It was rude of me, and I hadn't packed anything for myself and barely a thing for Rose. In all honesty, I had assumed that Blaise would have side-apparated us to his house. When I had discovered that he intended on using the floo, I knew it was my only chance to escape. Draco would probably be even more restricting on what I did and where I went once he found out I was pregnant, I knew that Blaise wouldn't have let me keep it secret from him for long. I had used the floo to go to the Ministry, since it was the only fireplace I could get to without placing one of my friends in jeopardy. It was lunch time, so there were plenty of people using the floo's as well which mean that my arrival wouldn't be as noticeable.

It was a risky choice since I was still a wanted fugitive according to everyone else. I had taken my new appearance into account; Hermione Granger never wore dresses and her hair was always rather messy. I was wearing a nice dress, my hair was wavy and smooth and covered one side of my face as I had pushed it to one shoulder. Not to mention the fact that the Hermione Granger everyone was looking for didn't have a child. I made my way to the front doors as fast as I could without drawing suspicion to myself, and once outside I apparated to a muggle hotel bathroom I remembered from my previous trips with my parents.

Luckily there was no one there, and I looked through Rose's diaper bag to find something I could transfigure to look like a suitcase and a purse. At this point Rose had been awake and was staring at me with her trusting eyes, and I knew what I had to do. I casted several charms on myself and her, changing the way we looked. I even changed the dress to a simpler one so as not to attract unwanted attention. After checking my reflection in the mirror to make sure I looked nothing like myself, I made my way to the front desk.

"Hello Ma'am, welcome to the Plaza, what can I do for you?" A young girl with a bright smile greeted me cheerfully.

"Hello, I would like a room please." I gave her a smile back, stifling my urge to look around me to make sure no one had followed.

"How many nights?"

"Three." I made sure that no one was around the front desk or paying us any mind and aimed a compulsion spell on her. "I've already paid, it's under Gillian Tenners, and you're ready to find me an available room now."

"Of course, follow me." She checked the computer for a moment before finding an open room and grabbing the key for it. Once she had let us in and handed me the key, I closed and locked the door, setting wards around the room quickly. I just needed to figure out my next move and make sure that Rose was fed and content before doing anything else. I cuddled her close, taking in her calming scent, and grabbed a bottle from her bag. I could go back to Ginny's, but I didn't want to risk her and James being found by anyone following me. Although, if she lifted the apparation wards, I could apparate straight there. A Patronus would be the fastest route, and unless anyone else had started snooping around Ginny's house, should go unnoticed by anyone but her.

"Ginny, I've escaped. I'm hiding, but I have nothing besides Rose and a diaper bag. I'm pregnant. Lower the apparation wards in ten minutes for five." I sent of the silvery otter, estimating that it should take a bit of time to get there since we were across an entire country. I could have just apparated around her home and knocked on the door, but I didn't want to cause any commotion for her neighbors and it would look quite odd to see a woman with a child coming out of the forest. I sighed, hoping Ginny would believe that it I wasn't trying to trick her into anything. I sat down on the bed and fed Rose, figuring that after that and burping her Ginny would have gotten the message and lowered the wards.

Rose held onto the bottle with me, her tiny fingers holding on in a strong grip in case I tried to take the bottle away from her for some reason. Merlin, she was beautiful. The excitement of my escape was wearing off, and my nerves were catching up. What I had done had been extremely stupid. I had placed not only myself, but my children in danger. I was lucky that Blaise hadn't caught on to my plan until it was too late, and that no one in the Ministry had recognized me. Even my apparation plan had been completely dangerous. It took a lot of concentration and power to apparate to another country, and while I could normally do that no problem, I had to take into account the fact that I had apparated while I was pregnant and holding onto Rose.

I had been a git, and something bad could have happened. I was taking another chance by apparating to Ginny's since it was so far away and I was already tired, but I was too nervous. We weren't safe in this hotel. Rose's hand hitting my chest snapped me out of my thoughts and I noticed she was done with her bottle.

"Well you certainly were hungry, weren't you?" I nibbled on her cheeks playfully and she laughed in delight, she loved to play now. I made sure that she wasn't in need of a diaper change burped her quickly, not wanting to miss the opening to apparate into Ginny's. I picked her up and took down the wards to the room, making sure to erase all evidence that we had ever been there. I counted to fifty in my head, and then the world twisted and turned as I apparated us away.

** Alright! Sorry to leave you with a cliffhanger since if I'm doing this in order you won't find out what happens to Hermione and Rose until the chapter after next. Or maybe Draco will find them, who knows Once again, I will leave the poll up for the baby names for 48 hours after this chapter is posted, so if you wanted to vote do it now! I hope everyone liked this chapter, and that it took you by surprise! You didn't think Hermione would just sit there in the Manor the whole story did you? Please review and let me know what you thought! **

_The Lyrics I used for this chapter are from the song Skinny Love by Bon Iver. Check it out! Its one of my favorites _


	12. Chapter 12

**Sigh No More Chapter Twelve: Belief in the breeze, the smoky morning haze.  
>The sun on her face, and the touch of lovers' hands. The pain that comes today,<br>is here, then goes away.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. **

**A/N: **_**well, I've decided to update so soon after the last chapter because I will be pretty busy soon, and Draco's been pestering me since I posted the last chapter to tell his bit. Thank you to all of those who have added this story to their favorites, alerts list, or even myself as a writer. That means so much to me! A giant thank you to JanJan2009 for always leaving a review that is amazing to me! **_

I sat at my desk, actually growling out loud when my bloody headache continued to pierce my mind with a sharp, persistent throb. It was as if even when I was trying my best to forget the fact that Hermione and Rosie were gone, my subconscious was steadily repeating it with each beat against my skull; _they're gone, they're gone, they're gone. _And what made it worse was Blaise telling me that Hermione was carrying my child-our child-when she left. I remembered the condition she had been in when I had first seen her, all skin and bones. How would that affect the baby?

How could she have left with my child? The thoughts always would spiral out of my control and down a darker road than I had traveled in a while. I searched my desk for a calming draught and took a few drops, not wanting to lose my wits, just the damn headache. I felt my body relax as the potion did its work, and went back to my work, now more determined than ever to finish what I had been striving towards for the past four years. I had set up a meeting with my cousin Arcturus which would take place in a few hours at a remote location in muggle London, just to be on the safe side.

There was still so much to do, so much to correlate. The Dark Lord was planning something-something big to draw out Potter. If I could get everything organized before that happened and less people died, then I would be happy. But I wasn't going to rush it, I would only have one shot at my task; if I failed, I was dead. Even if I didn't fail, I would be lucky to survive with how crazed his followers were. I was doing my best to work it out so that no one would know it was me, but it was a bit tricky, there were certain people that needed to be killed before the Dark Lord could be; if he suspected someone turning against him and tried to sniff them out, then none of it would matter.

I felt the tension creep back into my body and scowled, shoving the notes of parchment back in my desk and locking them up. I poured myself a shot of firewhiskey and threw it back quickly, the burn in my throat and stomach overpowering my headache for just a moment. I needed to snap out of it, I needed to stop thinking about Hermione, little Rosie, and our unborn baby. Gods why didn't she _tell_ me, and _why_ did I let Blaise take her to his house? I left my office in a daze, my thoughts still stuck where I didn't want them to be.

"You shouldn't go in here Draco, what if your father were to walk in announced as I so often do?" my mother's soft voice brought me back to reality and I blinked, stomach dropping as I came to my senses. I was in Rosie's room, just standing in the middle of it as if that would make her come back.

"I have a charm that lets me know whenever he enters my rooms." I shrugged and walked over to her, closing the door softly behind me. "What brings you here today Mother?"

"I just wanted to check up on you, make sure you were okay." She gave me a small smile, her blue eyes gently searching my face.

"I don't see any reason why I wouldn't be." I replied, going to my closet.

"You don't need to hide your pain from me Draco, I know the feeling of losing a child." At that I felt my shoulders sag for a moment before straightening.

"I haven't lost my child Mother, she left. I'll find her, and when I do I'll make sure she can never leave again."

"Are you sure that's the best idea? You want to keep her trapped here; taking care of children who will grow up and one day realize that their mother is held captive by their father?" she shook her head. "No Draco, you don't want them to despise you the way you despise your father do you?"

"I..."I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I don't know what to do, how to get her back."

"You're a Malfoy Draco, and Malfoy's always get what they want. I've never heard of a Malfoy man who didn't get the woman he wanted. Do what you have to do, but win her heart son. If you have a woman's heart, you have her forever." She reached out to fix my hair, her hand trailing down to cup my cheek for a moment.

"I'll fix this, I promise. And when I'm through with everything, you'll never live in fear again." I placed my hand over hers, savoring this moment. Merlin knows how my work would turn out, but I was either going to accomplish what I set out to do, or die trying.

I sat in the dim pub, at a table placed near the back in the shadows with my back against the wall so I could see everyone who came and went. It was a muggle pub, which made me feel better about someone overhearing my conversation, but I was still on my guard; the Death Eaters were very good at sniffing out their own. I watched the door for Arcturus, letting out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding as he came through the door. His pitch black hair was tucked neatly behind his ears, left to fall loose around his shoulders. His gray eyes studied the room he was in for a second, and then they searched for me. I lifted my left hand slowly, as if I was going to run it through my hair and let it drop. He caught the movement immediately, and made his way over to my table, sitting down across from me.

"Afternoon, Cousin." He said, not looking the least bit uncomfortable in his muggle surroundings.

"Hello Arcturus, I appreciate you coming all this way to meet with me." He nodded his head, shrugging off my thanks.

"I couldn't refuse, what with all your secrecy. You're lucky Mira wasn't in the room when I got your letter; she would have mentioned the fact that our cousin Draco sent a suspicious letter that burned itself when I finished reading it."

"Ah, how is your darling little sister? I saw her at the last ball my mother held; she's becoming quite the little pureblood aristocrat." I held her in my mind's eye, the girl that I had never played with as a child and hardly spoke to now.

"Spending an unhealthy amount of time with her cousin Bellatrix, trying to prove our worth of the Black family name." he shook his head, a frown marring his features.

"And my youngest cousin, Altair? He's fourteen now if I remember correctly. How's he coming along?"

"Altair isn't our youngest cousin, but of course you don't count Aunt Andromeda's grandson; Teddy Lupin." He gave me a sharp look, as if this answer would decide the fate of the rest of our conversation.

"Nymphadora's son with the werewolf Remus Lupin? He slipped my mind, since I've never met him. And he's two, I hardly consider that age to be relevant for the purposes of our meeting." He sighed.

"Altair is growing into a fine young man, always eager to follow in whatever path I choose."

"And do you want him to follow your path? One of murder, fear, service to a man who claims that all are inferior to Purebloods and yet is a half-blood himself?"

"What you speak of is treason." He said softly, eyes scanning around him to make sure no one could over hear us. "You're sounding like a blood traitor."

"Then it wouldn't surprise you to hear that I am expecting a half-blood child." I replied, just as quietly,

"You?" Arcturus frowned. "You would taint the Malfoy line with an Unpure child?"

"I did, much like your mother tainted the Black line with the birth of your youngest sibling; Jessa."

"How the hell do you know about Jessa?" he glared at me, and I could see his whole body tense.

"I have my sources, and I assure you that the Dark Lord has no idea about the existence of your Half-blood sister. She's quite lovely, I'm sure Mira adores her." I knew that Arcturus was worried about Mira's closeness with our Aunt Bellatrix, and if she would soon betray her little sister. Jessa would never have been allowed to live if the Dark Lord and his followers had learned of her birth, and my cousin knew that.

"Mira." He sighed, his head falling down for a moment. "She hates Jessa, more than she hates our mother for marrying the 'mudblood'. Merlin, to listen to her spew such hate at our own blood, it's unnerving."

"Has she always hated Jessa?"

"No, she used to dote on her like any loving sister. When she started her lessons with Bellatrix, she changed. She's all about Blood Purity, and the honor of the Black family name. She rants on and on about how Father would be ashamed that we even allowed Jessa to stay in the family."

"I remember Uncle Aries," I took a drink from the brew I had ordered when I first got there. "He was always telling me stories about muggles, and his adventures in the muggle world. He wasn't a Pureblood Supremacist."

"I know that, and Mother knows that. But Mira doesn't remember him as well as us, and what she did remember is long gone; filled with lies that Bellatrix has planted in her head."

"Why are you serving the Dark Lord, Cousin?" I questioned, my spirits lifting. If I could convince him to help me in my task that would take a small weight off of my shoulders.

"Why are you?" he shot back, guarded.

"To protect my Mother." I answered truthfully.

"Then my reasons are the same as yours, only I have three siblings to watch after, the youngest just turning six. I joined to keep them safe."

"If Mira tells Bellatrix about Jessa, you all are as good as dead. Hiding something like that from the Dark Lord is a death sentence, and while she might feel like she's doing you all a favor by ridding you of this secret, she's sealing your fate."

"Why did you ask me here today Draco?" he sighed, suddenly weary. In that moment he looked much older than his 23 years, and I wondered if I ever looked like that.

"I want to help you. I can't tell you more unless you make an Unbreakable Vow with me."

"You think I would betray you?" he scowled, his gray eyes stormed at what my words implied.

"I think you would if it would save your brother and sisters. And while I admire that, it's too much of a risk for me to take. I need to be more than positive that you would never tell anyone of what I would tell you." He was silent for a while, which was fine by me. I didn't want someone to jump up right away declaring they would do as I said; I wanted someone who would think things over clearly, examine every option of what could happen.

"Alright, I'll trust you. I'll make the Vow, obviously not here."

"I had hoped you would see things my way, follow me." I felt something like relief fill my body as I stood up and left the pub. We walked to an alley, and I grabbed ahold of his arm. "We'll be apparating to a friend of mine; I think you two will get along perfectly."

I walked through the gardens with my mother, pausing every so often with her as she touched this flower, smelled that one. The scent of the Dragon Lilies reminding me of when I was younger and she would chase me around the grounds, both of us laughing and filled with happiness. It had been a long week, filled with meetings between Blaise, Arcturus, and myself. He had taken to our work with bright eyes, smiling like I he used to when we were young and used to play together.

"You've been very busy lately dear," Mother's voice brought me out of my thoughts. "Your Father has never been more proud. He talks about you almost every night."

"Does he? And what does he say?" I looked away from her disapproving eyes. She might not always agree with my father, but she stood by his side no matter what.

"He says that the Dark Lord thinks very highly of you. He often tells me of times when the Dark Lord will be talking to his eldest followers, and mentions how he wished all of them could have your drive, your aspiration to please him and plan events that bring him more power." She cut some Dragon Lilies from their stems and places them in the basket I carried for her, already holding other flowers she had cut.

"I'm honored that he remembers me at all." I rolled my eyes, making sure she wasn't looking when I did so.

"Have you had any news on Hermione's whereabouts?" she paused in her walk, turning to look at me.

"There was a report on a witch with a baby girl checking into a hotel in New York, and then the trail disappears. I know she's somewhere in the States, but I can't seem to pinpoint where. Once I finish translating the spell to locate her, I should know exactly where she is." I let myself smile for a moment at that thought. I was so close to finding her, I just had to make the time to translate the combination of Ancient Runes and Latin that the spell was written in.

It wouldn't have taken me as long if I hadn't been trying to keep my plans and the spell a secret from anyone I didn't trust; which was a very long list. The only times I was able to work on the spell was at night while if I ate dinner in my rooms, or when I was supposed to be sleeping. It was difficult, since I was already dividing my time between what the Dark Lord wanted me to do, my meetings with Blaise and Arcturus, and planning of my own.

"How long should that take you?" she continued our walk, stopping at the Gerber Daisies that she had managed to grow and bloom in vibrant colors.

"I should be done in a week, maybe two. I don't have that much time to work on it really." I shrugged, admiring a particularly brilliant blue daisy.

"Well-"she started, but stopped as we heard a pop behind us. I turned around quickly, wand drawn just to be on the safe side. Having our house as the main base for the Dark Lord made me very suspicious. Half of the Death Eaters here were unpredictable in the sense that while they worked to please the Dark Lord, many of them would love to be rid of myself, even my mother.

"Master Draco, his Dark Lord Voldemort is wanting youse, he is." Tassie was shaking uncontrollably, her big eyes filled with tears.

"What happened Tassie?" I frowned, concerned for the creature. She had been my house elf since I was five years old, and I had grown attached to her over time.

"He's is very mad Master Draco, very mad. Tassie didn't come soon enough, she didn't. He punished Tassie, Tassie deserved it." I handed my mother her basket of flowers and kneeled in front of the house elf that had served me devotedly for fifteen years, her whole body trembling as she tried to stifle her sobs.

"How did he punish you Tassie?" I asked softly, placing a hand on her small shoulders in an effort to comfort her.

"A bad curse Master Draco, very bad. Tassie...hurt everywhere Master Draco." She explained to me, trying very hard to get it under control. House elves hated to show any signs of weakness in front of their owners, and it must have been very upsetting for her to be so out of control in front of me.

"Tassie, you did nothing wrong, do you understand? I am not mad at you, and I..." I broke off, knowing it would just make her uncomfortable if I apologized to her. "Mother, could you please take Tassie up to my rooms. In my sitting room there is a cabinet with some calming draught on the second shelf, inside a wooden box." It wasn't a question, and she moved to take Tassie's hand immediately.

"Should I call your mother Tassie?" I heard her ask my house elf as they walked towards the Manor.

"Tassie doesn't want to make Mistress go to any trouble for hers." Was Tassie's slowly fading reply, and I couldn't hear what my mother said back. It was one thing to punish a house elf for being disobedient, or doing something wrong; it was another to torture them for not answering your call fast enough, especially when the house elf didn't belong to you. There was a bond between a Master and a house elf when they had been together for as long as Tassie and I had. Even my mother had a strong connection with Tassie's mother, who had been serving her since she was a little girl, and had offered her daughter to serve me when I was of the proper age to receive my own elf.

I shook off my anger, and made my way to the Dark Lords rooms. I rose a brow at the number of people running away from said rooms, and the screams of pain as I entered them. There he was, a sadistic smile on his face as his red eyes danced with glee while he watched the person he was torturing scream on the ground in front of him. The potions I had been making for him on a regular basis were ones that made him look like the person he had once been, and while I used to wish that he looked normal while I was younger, I much preferred him to look like the evil bastard that he was than the young, handsome man in front of me.

"You wished to see me, My Lord?" I asked once the screams had stopped. He looked up at me; the red eyes alight with anger.

"Where were you Draco? I went to your rooms to have a nice chat like old times, obviously I didn't find you." He waved his wand, and the person crying on the ground disappeared, leaving us alone.

"I was walking the gardens with my mother My Lord, she asked me to accompany her." He motioned for me to come closer and sit down, and I waited for him to sit before doing the same.

"I see," he poured himself a glass of water. "How is your mother these days?"

"She's doing good My Lord, just a bit lonely since Father and I are so busy lately."

"Does Bellatrix not spend time with her little sister anymore?" he questioned, although I knew he didn't really care. I never understood why he wanted to make small talk with me before he got to the point.

"I don't know My Lord, I hadn't thought to ask her about it."

"I'll look into it for you; after all, my heir's mother should never be lonely."

"Thank you My Lord."

"Always so polite," he smiled at me. "And you never cower before me Draco like all those other pathetic followers of mine do. That's how I know I made the right choice in picking you to follow after me."

"I doubt it will ever come to that My Lord," I smiled back. "You've said it yourself; you're going to live forever."

"Yes yes, but there will come a time when I won't want to be as involved as I am now. That's where you come in." he studied me for a moment, and then shook his head. "I can tell I have angered you by hurting your house elf." I was silent, I wouldn't take his bait. "Why should it bother you that I cursed her Draco? She's nothing more than a creature built to serve our needs, she can't even think for herself."

"Of course you're right My Lord." I agreed, my face betraying no emotion, my mind on trivial things like the blood trail in the center of the room; the footprints that he had made through that blood when he walked to the table.

"You're still upset, I can see. Tell me, why does it bother you so much that I hurt her?"

"It doesn't My Lord," I scoffed. "I was just upset that my mother had to see her like that. She has a soft spot for Tassie in particular since her own house elf is Tassie's mother."

"Of course," he nodded, understanding crossing his features. "I always forget how delicate pureblooded woman are." He patted my arm in a show of affection. "You never fail me Draco, even know you help me. I should be more careful of how I conduct my business so that it doesn't affect the women. Does your mother know of any that would be worthy of my attentions?"

"I could ask her for you My Lord." I offered eagerly, more than willing to have another discussion with him if it meant it would keep him away from my mother.

"Always so willing to please." He smiled at me again. "Yes, I would like that. Now, on to other business; I have reports that the Order is making plans to foil our attack on the Irish Ministry. I need you to come up with several options for us to infiltrate their Ministry in the most affective and quick way. I need those by the end of this week, and they need to be able to work properly."

"Of course, do you know who you want on the mission My Lord?" I reached over and grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill, dipping it in ink as I readied for him to tell me exactly who he wanted.

"No, don't write it down. I already left the names in your rooms in your entryway, along with specifics on who I want killed. I need them to look like accidents Draco, we can't have my followers becoming suspicious of me can we?" he laughed, as if it was the funniest joke he had heard. "I wish all of my followers were like you Draco, so dedicated to me. I know that you would never go against me," his bright red eyes seemed to burn into my own. "You have too much to lose now."

_**Alright, there is chapter twelve, and your first look at Voldemort. I know I made Draco have a lot of cousins, but I feel like they wouldn't be well known since Aries died and his wife was disowned. How did you all like Arcturus? I keep on planning to do some more flashbacks but I always forget until the end. I promise to have some more in the next chapters. Please review, it means so much to me when people do, and if I get a good amount, I might just post another chapter by Friday **_

_Song lyrics from More than life by Whitley_


	13. Chapter 13

**Sigh No More Chapter Thirteen: Tell me something give me hope for the night, we don't know how we feel. We're just praying that we're doing this right, that's just not the way it seems. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**A/N: **_**Hey lovely readers! I know its been a couple weeks since the last update, but I am busier than ever right now. Between moving into my first house, getting ready to start school again, and trying to spend time with my family I have had zero time for writing. I will be getting on an actual posting schedule around the September though, so that I will be posting a new chapter consistently for you guys! I hope you all enjoy the read and leave me a review! **_

"What was your favorite song fifth year?!" Ginny demanded as soon as my feet touched the wood floors.

"Don't know why I didn't call, Norah Jones." I responded, black spots dancing in my vision. That last apparation had cost me any energy I had left, and I set Rose on the floor next to me where she started her own adventure by crawling towards Ginny.

"Why?" she pressed, although I could see her eyes softening as she noticed my exhaustion.

"Because I liked to remind myself that it was my fault that Ron was dating Lavender, and I thought that Norah sang it so eloquently." I moved to sit at the couch quickly; my body was starting to tingle.

"Thank Merlin you're okay! Harry stopped by last month with information on your capture by the Malfoy's. And with you taking Rose I was so worried! Then you're Patronus just showed up announcing that you were pregnant, and I figured you escaped but I wasn't sure because you-"

"Gin, shut up. Just for a moment please." I added after deciding that being nice to my sister-in-law and one of my best friends was an important thing. I waited until I felt in control of myself again before opening my eyes. "Thank you for believing me. I know that you took a chance on me like that, and I want you to know I'm grateful."

"Oh Mione, you're my sister. I couldn't risk it actually being you in need and ignoring it. Rose got so big! And she looks so cute in her little dress, just like a little princess." She brushed off my thanks easily, as if we had some quality family time over the last three years.

"She crawls everywhere, and she talks her own language. Where's James?" I asked, noticing my nephew wasn't in the room.

"Mum came and got him for me after I got your message. I figured it was one thing to let you through with just me here, but I didn't want to put James in danger. She'll be back in an hour with him, and dinner." She laughed, and I joined in, feeling light hearted. It seemed like such a long time ago that Harry and I teased Ron about his food addiction coming from his mum always making it.

"Oh, well I can't wait to see him again. I bet he's grown much more than Rose." I genuinely smiled at her, and she returned it, but I could see the questions in her eyes. "I know you must be curious about what's happened to me the last three months."

"I am, but if you can't talk about it, I'll understand." She placed her hand over mine, squeezing it to let me know she would be there for me however I needed her to. I returned the gesture as what I had done was finally hitting me. I had escaped, and I was safe.

"I'm guessing Harry told you about what happened the day I was captured?" I picked up Rose and sat her in my lap, rubbing her back in soothing circles.

"He told me it was his fault, that he was upset about everything and slipped up before he could catch himself. He said that you made him leave and distracted the Death Eaters so that he could get away." Ginny ran her fingers through Rose's hair a few times, a small smile on her face.

"That's right, and I think I would have been able to meet back up with Harry if it hadn't have been for Lucius Malfoy. He stunned me and brought me back to the Manor, where Draco found me and took me in."

"What do you mean 'took you in'?" she frowned, obviously confused by my choice of words. I could understand though, my experience had changed my thinking in some ways. It was difficult at first, and that's reasonable considering that we had basically grown up while a war was starting, and these prejudices had started young for most Wizarding families.

"He wanted to protect me from everything." I said quietly, my stomach dropping as I grasped that Draco had cared about me, my daughter, and he would have cared about our child. "He knew this old pureblood mistress spell that had been in his family for generations, and he used it on me to keep me safe. When he asked me what I needed there with me to be happy, I didn't say anything. But they knew-er, he knew anyways-that I had a child."

"How could he have known that? No one even saw you when you were pregnant. Hell, I only ever saw you that one time and then when you and Harry were placing Rose in my arms the day she was born."

"He's very clever Ginny, he listens and observes closely to everything going on around him. When I had just woken up he questioned me, and during that I slipped about Ron and I being married, and when I hesitated before answering about whether or not we had children, he knew." I held Rose close, feeling her tiny heart beating was comforting to me. "So that's how I got Rose. I made sure that she really would be protected before I brought her there. I would never risk her, I couldn't."

"I just don't understand _why_ he would do that though. I mean, to him, you're everything he's fighting to destroy. And Rosie is double, with you being muggle born and Ron being a blood traitor and all that. So why would he do any of this?"

"I don't know." I whispered, but we both knew that I did.

"Well my dear," Poppy, who used to be the nurse at Hogwarts but now was the official medic for the Order of the Phoenix, began to take some potions out of her bag and set them on the table next to my bed. "You certainly are pregnant. And while it may be too soon for me to be able to tell you the gender or how many, it isn't for you to start taking the required potions."

"Yes, I remember. They worked wonders when I was with Rosie." I complimented her, and she beamed at me.

"She is a lovely little thing, looks so much like her parents." Poppy's eyes welled up when she thought about Ron, who she had treated plenty of times when we had attended school. They had grown particularly close when Ron had suspected I was pregnant and spent as much time as he could getting information out of her.

"Yes, she has his eyes." I grabbed the notebook I had been writing in, and began to scribble down what Poppy told me.

"Now let's see here, I would say that you are about a month and a half, probably two months along. That would put the due date sometime in January, which gives you and Ginny plenty of time to get everything ready."

"What do you mean? I was planning on helping Harry like I had when I was with Rose." I looked up at Poppy, who looked confused by my plans.

"My dear, you can't possibly leave Rose now. Its apart of her child development, and she would be emotionally damaged if her mother abandoned her."

"I would never abandon her! I'm only doing this to help make this a safe world for her. Where she can be herself always, and never have to worry about people hating her for who her parents are."

"I can see that, and I can understand that as well. However, it doesn't change the fact that your little girl is as quick as a whip, and she knows who you are. She would be devastated by your departure, and honestly you can't expect Ginny to be able to look after two one year olds and two infants."

"Ginny's pregnant too?" I was shocked; she hadn't said anything to me about it. Of course, I had only been here for about a day, and there had been plenty of family and friends in to see me and Rose. Molly cried when she picked her granddaughter up, kissing her head repeatedly as if to make up for lost time.

"Yes, a few months ahead of you of course. It's another little boy, Harry was thrilled when they found out."

"Another little boy." I let the thought of my best friend finally building the family he had always wanted swirl around in my head for a little while before smiling. "That's brilliant! I'm quite sure that Rose would love to have another cousin to grow up with." I looked at my daughter who was sleeping next to me in my bed. She had gotten the habit since Draco always held her and most of the time he fell asleep, which meant she slept with the both of us.

"Would you like to know the sex of the baby? Or how many even? It's a good thing you told me you did that spell, otherwise I wouldn't have even thought about multiple births." Poppy stood up, ready to go check in on Ginny now.

"I would like to know how many, but not the gender. I've always believed its cheating to know that until you meet them." Poppy gave me a bright smile, nodding her head.

"I've always like the element of surprise myself. Alright, take your potions dear, and remember, no more running around with Harry. Fred and George have gone off with him to help, so don't mope about here thinking he's all alone. You have little ones to think of now." I nodded and that seemed to satisfy her, with one last stern glance at me and a soft look at Rose, she left.

I had no idea what to think really. Besides the fact that I would be doing this all on my own again, the ups and downs of pregnancy, didn't exactly make me happy. Of course, Ginny and I would be there for each other. That wouldn't change the fact that the first time we had done this, we didn't have another child to take care of the entire time.

I sighed and moved over to snuggle with Rose; her tiny hands reached out for my arm and held on gently in sleep. I would never admit it to anyone else, but I did miss Draco. It wasn't the way that I missed Ron, but knowing that I was carrying a bit of both of us inside of me made me wish I was there, and that he had his arms wrapped around me like he normally would. I could tell that Rose missed him as well, the way that her head would pop up whenever she heard a male voice.

But I did the right thing, and nothing could have happened between the two of us anyways. We were on opposite sides of a war, and in life. And while I would always regret having to leave Harry, the events had a good outcome at least. I would have regretted not being there for Rose in the end, and while I was there for her whenever she needed or wanted me now, I hadn't been in the beginning.

Everyone assured me that she wouldn't remember that at all, but that didn't change the fact that I could, and would. Poppy telling me that I couldn't leave only reassured me that I was making the right decision to stay with my children and Ginny.

_I sat in the Library, trying to bury myself in the books around me so that I could erase the last few days from my memory. Harry and Ron wouldn't understand why I was so upset over it, they were boys, and Ron was too into the French girls to even realize that he was being talked to. _

_ Harry was too concerned over the tasks remaining to even notice that I was absent from the common rooms, and while he had talked to me and Victor Krum at the Ball, he hadn't gone out of his way to spend any time with me sense. I slammed the book closed as my thoughts turned back to Krum and the Ball, and how my life had been a living hell since then._

_ Girls from all four houses had been constantly calling me names since I was escorted to the Ball by the famous quidditch and tri-wizard tournament player. I was just as surprised as everyone else when he asked me, and had been holding out for Ron to possibly realize that none of the French girls would go with him and that I was there, patiently waiting for him to ask me. _

_ Ginny had tried to tell me for the last week to ask someone to go with me, or to perhaps consider going with someone else if they would ask me. I had shrugged her off at first, but then I agreed with her. If Ron couldn't see what a good thing he had in front of him, then why should I continue to do that? I wasn't going to go off and ask anyone—no, I was much too shy for that sort of thing—but I took more notice to my looks and made sure that I had no ink smears on my hands anymore from taking notes._

_ Krum had started coming into the library and sitting across from me, just to 'watch me study' he had said in that thick accent of his. He couldn't say my name right at all, and it was adorable at first, but slowly made me want to scream every time he stumbled over it. Finally, I insisted that he call me by my middle name, Jean, and he readily agreed. Once we were over the name debacle he asked me to go on a walk around the lake with him, and I accepted. He told me about his life back home, and about how he started quidditch. _

_ He never talked about how good he was, or that he was on a professional team and still in school, or about really how intelligent he was. He just told me about his life at home, about his mother and his little sister, and he was always asking me to talk about myself. When he had asked me to attend the Yule Ball with him, I knew I couldn't say no. _

_ Ginny had been over the moon with excitement, and had wanted to go rub it into Ron's face, but I managed to stop her. I wanted everyone to be surprised not only when they saw me with Krum, but when they saw me period. I spent hours on my hair, did my make up the way I had watched my mother do hers for years when she got ready to go out with my father, and slipped into the dress I had bought for the occasion. _

_ The moment I had met him at the bottom of the stairs had been magical, and I only wished that Ron would look at me the way he was right now. The entire night was magical, and I had wished that the night would last forever. But it didn't. The night had ended with me crying on the stairs right outside of the Great Hall because Ron had called me a traitor for going to the dance with someone competing against Harry. _

_ And then the next day, girls began to whisper insults to me in the halls on the way to classes. I had notes thrown during class at me, the words 'whore', 'slut', and 'mudblood' glared at me against the white parchment. I tried my best to ignore it, to not let it get to me. But how could I not be affected, when people reacted to me this cruelly for just having a good time with someone? How could I not be sad, angry, pissed off that my friends and people that knew me were now calling me names that were as awful as those?_

_ I looked through the stack of books on my left, scowling at them when none of them caught my interest. I did not want to be stuck thinking about the last few days. In fact, I could do with forgetting the entire year so far. _

_ "Hey, can I join you?" I jumped at the voice, and turned around to find Harry standing across the table, a sheepish smile on his face. I started to bite back a scathing comment, but stopped myself immediately. Harry may be an idiot when it comes to certain things, but he was my best friend as well. He might not understand what I'm going through, but the fact that he was standing there across from me when I could tell her really didn't want to talk about it, meant the world to me._

_ "You don't have to you know, I can tell you don't want to get into it." I replied, but cleared some books off the table anyways. _

_ "I do have to actually," he rose an eyebrow at me. "You're always there for me." _

_ "Yes well, this is different." I insisted, not wanting to lose my friend over this. What if he thought I was a bad person as well? I mean, people had been saying things about us for years, and while we both knew none of it was true, what if he thought I started those rumors? _

_ "No, it's not. How is this any different than people calling me all those names because they think I put my name in the goblet? Or when they thought I was the one who opened the chamber of secrets? Or even when they all believed that Sirius was after me and how just by being near me was a risk to their lives?" _

_ "It __**is-**__"I started, but he cut me off, his green eyes intense. _

_ "No, it's not Hermione. This is no different than any of those times, and I would be a horrible friend if I did nothing and stood by. You have __**always**__ been there for me, and I will not return that by looking the other way in your time of need. Now, I think this is ridiculous that I even have to say this but here goes:" he rolled his eyes to further his point and cleared his throat, speaking rather loudly for being in the library. "I, Harry James Potter, know that Hermione Jean Granger is in fact __**not**__ a slut, or a whore, or any other type of man eater. I __**also**__ know that while Hermione is a muggle born, she is without a doubt the most brilliant witch I have ever met. I swear to always be there for her, no matter what awful things are being said about her that day, and will try to never let her down." _

_ "Oh Harry!" I wiped the tears from my eyes, completely overwhelmed by his friendship. While I knew that I would do anything for Harry, I had thought there to be a limit on what he would do for me. Not because he wasn't a good friend, but because he was a boy. And I knew that teenage boys didn't deal with teenage girl problems very often, especially when the boy was Harry Potter. _

_ "You are my best friend Mione, and I don't care what anyone says about you." He hugged me, his arms pulling me impossibly close. I held on, glad to have this moment. "You shouldn't care what they say about you either." _

_ "I can't help me it Harry, they're just so mean. I can take the bullying from the Slytherin's; you know that's never been a problem for me. But to feel like the entire school is against you is another thing altogether." I mumbled into his chest, a few more tears sneaking out. _

_ "I know how that feels Mione; I've been in that position an awful lot. And it sucks to know that people are capable of that type of behavior, but I always know that I'm right. And that makes it better for me, every time."_

_ "How would that make it better?" I sniffed, settling back in my own chair. _

_ "Because one day, they're all going to know I was. Somehow, no matter what happens, the truth will come out. And I bet you they feel pretty stupid when that day comes."  
>"When did you get so smart?" I teased, feeling much better than I was before he came to talk to me. <em>

_ "Well, it all started when I met this girl in first year that needed to be saved from a Troll. After that incident, she sort of told me everything she possibly knew." He laughed the first care free laugh I had heard since his name had been pulled from the Goblet. "And she knows a lot by the way. More than most professors I would think." _

_ "She knows more than you think." I shot back, thinking of the crush Ginny had on him, and the promise to never tell. "And I do __**not**__ tell you everything I knew. If I did that, you wouldn't be here right now."_

_ "What can't share all the secrets of learning?" he taunted, dangling a book in front of my face. I knocked it away, shaking my head._

_ "Oh no Mr. Potter. You see, if you knew everything I did, and then I'd have to kill you." _

_ "You couldn't kill me." He smirked. _

_ "I could, but I won't. Because you don't know everything I know, and therefore that makes you inconsequential to my murder radar. I've got to keep on top somehow." At his expression I burst out in laughter, and he joined me. We were kicked out of the library by a very angry Madame Pince, who warned me that just because I was her favorite student, she wouldn't hesitate to ban me from the library for an entire year. _

_**Well, here's Chapter 13! I just wanted to skim a bit, since Hermione is a little too busy right now to really observe everything in the way she normally might. She's overwhelmed with this desire to protect her children, and while before that might have been her out there fighting, now its her staying with them. She has no idea about Draco being able to find her (and how do we know that will work?) and I thought it was a nice touch to have a flashback with just her and Harry instead of her and Ron. This story is going to pick up from here. Draco has already made his plans, now all he has to do is follow through with them. Hermione is pregnant again, but how will she help the order now that she's decided to put being a mother first? **_

_** Please check out my profile, it has answered to anon review questions that pertain to the story and more info about updates and what not. Also, please do not forget to review! I was wondering if I gave out my Tumblr for update and story info if anyone would want me to do that. Let me know! I hope everyone is having a great summer (even though it's practically over), until next time!**_

_Song lyrics from Winter Song by The Head and the Heart_


	14. Chapter 14

**Sigh No More Chapter Fourteen: I can't get these memories out of my mind, And some kind of madness has started to evolve.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. **

**A/N:**_** Wow! I am so sorry guys, I know I said that once we got to this month I would be posting more regularly and that hasn't happened at all. I just got the internet, but my classes are really rough this quarter (I studied for six hours straight the other day, after eight hours of classes). I actually thought I hadn't posted chapter 13 yet so I wasn't in as much of a rush to do anything. I didn't hear anything about the tumblr mentioning from last chapter, but I decided that I would post it up for you guys anyways. It should be under lolgrl92 **____** and with that, on with the story.**_

Everything in my office had been destroyed. The bookshelves that were once lined neatly with text I deemed important or of any worth were lying across the room with pages and covers missing, some burnt from a spell fired in frustration and anger. The perfect mahogany desk, which had been given to my 17th birthday from my Grandfather Abraxas as was stated in his will, was overturned. Two of the legs were missing, a third broken in half, and the fourth protruded from it uselessly. There were holes and burn marks scattered across the walls, and the window had been blown out.

The important documents that I kept in here had been moved earlier, which I was thankful for. It would have been a real pain to start all of the information from scratch. I could do it, but it would take a lot more effort and patience than I held at the moment. Obviously.

I had been sitting at my desk, working on ways to assassinate people for the Dark Lord, struggling not to think about Hermione and our children. For the past two weeks that she had been gone I had been battling my mind constantly from thinking about them; my mother had told me that I was projecting my thoughts at certain times and she didn't want anyone to take advantage of that.

Finally, I had had enough. Why in Merlin's name couldn't I control myself? I was acting like some pining git, and the worst thing was that I knew it. And in a rage I had broken everything in sight.

"Draco, I was wondering-Sweet Circe! What happened? Were you attacked? Are you okay?" my mother panicked when she saw me standing in the middle of the once pristine office, rushing over to check and make sure that I wasn't harmed. She ran her hands over my head, face, shoulders, and chest—as if that would tell her if I was hurt in any way.

"I'm fine Mother." I sighed, capturing her fluttering hands in my own and slowly taking them off of me.

"But what _happened_?" she frowned, eyes boring into mine.

"I got mad." I said simply, running a hand through my already messy hair. It was a habit that had gotten worse since Hermione left, it normally only happened when I was upset, or confused; which to be honest, wasn't often. Except that now it seemed that those were the only two things I felt besides this overwhelming need to finish what I had planned for most of my life.

"You...you destroyed everything." She took in the room before her with wide eyes. "Why?"

"I'm just having a little bit of a struggle with staying focused. I really needed to get something done, and its taking me longer than it normally would." I shrugged and motioned for her to follow me out of the office. "Tassie?"

"Yes Master Malfoy?" she popped in next to me immediately.

"I need you to clean my office. I would appreciate it if everything was returned to its original condition that can be, and that it's done by tomorrow morning."

"Right away Master Malfoy!" she curtsied quickly before heading to my office to inspect what exactly she would be cleaning.

"Draco, we need to talk about this." Mother said, her face taking on a look that told me there was no way it wasn't going to happen.

"I don't want to talk about it. I have it under control." I knew I sounded like a petulant child at the moment, but it was the one time that she left me alone.

"That's just it Draco! You aren't in control anymore, and it's becoming obvious." She fretted, fixing me with a firm glare.

"I..." I searched my mind for some sort of explanation, some excuse so that she would leave me alone so that I could work on the Finding Spell and Potion, but everything evaded me.

"Bellatrix said that you were irritable, inattentive, and disrespectful after you had left dinner last night."

"Well that's because Bellatrix is a bitc—"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence boy." The husky voice of my crazy aunt drawled lazily as she entered my rooms, one eyebrow raised as if that would make me apologize for what I had been about to say.

"What? The part where I was going to call you a Bitch? Or how about the other where I say that you're mentally unstable?" I challenged, anger now burning like a fire in the pit of my stomach. I had been a coward when Hermione was tortured in my own foyer, and had done nothing when I knew that it was Bellatrix who had killed her husband, and had tried to kill her multiple times.

But Hermione had left me, and I was done hiding. I was done pretending to be the perfect nephew that followed orders and listened like a child. No, I was a man now and it was well past time that I acted like one.

"How _dare_ you!" she snarled, wand drawn and pointed at me. I was about to draw my own wand when my mother stepped in front of me, wand aimed straight and steady at her older sister.

"Don't you ever raise your wand to my son Bella." She said calmly, not once taking her eyes off of her. I stared at the scene in front of me in shock, even more frustrated with myself now that my mother was in danger and that I had placed her in it.

"Then maybe you should teach him some manners." Bellatrix snapped, eyes narrowed into dangerous slits. I knew that look, it was the same one she got when she was planning on how to dispose of someone who was in her way, and she always succeeded in doing it.

"My son is not only heir to the Malfoy fortune and estates, but to the Dark Lord himself. The only person he has to mind his manners around is the Dark Lord, and it's time you learned your place and remembered that!" My mother didn't raise her voice, but each word was said with a chilling delivery that I had never heard out of her before.

"I am His second in command! His most faithful servant!" Bellatrix screamed, eyes bugging out with her rage.

"No, my _son_ is. The only reason he hasn't said anything before is because of the love I have for you as my sister. He has born your abuse silently, and with dignity. Rest assured, all I would have to do is give word that you threated the life of His heir and you would be no more." I knew she was going to cast a spell before my mother even finished speaking, and I knew that my mother would stand there and take it for me.

"Deceptus!" I shouted, knowing that Bellatrix would stop the spell before it hit her, but her attention would be turned to me and that was all I wanted.

"Oh, so now you want to be a man?" she threw her head back and laughed, deep and long, and the hairs on the back of my neck and arms stood on end at the madness she displayed.

"Draco, stay out of this. I've let my sister get away with far too much over the years, and its time I remind her of her betters." My mother flicked her wand at me, and the spell she cast had me moved over next to a window and the curtain binding me to the spot tightly, leaving me unable to reach my wand.

"My better? You?" Bellatrix snorted, and then attacked viciously, sparing no mercy for her younger sister. I watched as my mother held her ground, her head raised high as she kept all of her attention focused on the deflecting and throwing her own spells back just as fast. I had never seen my mother duel or even lift up her wand in defense before.

As much as I wanted to let my mother have the satisfaction of defeating Bellatrix, I couldn't risk the chance that something were to happen to her. And while I could see that she was holding her own, I knew that Bellatrix had been fighting ruthlessly for longer than I had been alive.

I put all of my energy into figuring out how to break the charm my mother had placed on the curtain to keep me there. It would have been a lot easier if she had actually spoken the words aloud, but after a few moments I figured it out and was free. As a flash of green light flew towards my mother I hastily shot a spell at her that I knew she would be very upset with me at later. She dropped to the ground as the killing curse flew passed where she had just been standing, and I quickly moved her out of the way, making sure to watch my aunt closely as I did so.

"You just tried to kill my mother." The words sounded calm as they left my mouth, but I was shaking with poorly concealed fury.

"Do you really care for her that much?" Bellatrix's eyes lit up at the realization and I once again cursed my own stupidity. "Oh! Draco loves his mummy!" she mocked, as if it was my gravest mistake.

"And you don't love your sister." It wasn't a question; we both already knew the answer to that. But she decided to answer it anyways.

"Love is for the weak boy! And the sooner we get that through your head the better! My Lord will thank me for ridding his heir of weakness."

"I swear on my magic that if you harm my mother I will kill you." I could feel the tingle of my oath go through my body, and Bellatrix's eyes widened slightly as she saw my body glow softly as my magic accepted my promise.

"Where's your little whore Mudblood?" she asked suddenly, looking around what was visible to her in my rooms.

"That's none of your concern." I let a bored look take over my face, as if I could care less about Hermione.

"Oh Draco," she scoffed, twirling her wand through her fingers idly. "I know how you look at her, how you brought her filth child in this manor, how you hoped to have another with her."

"It must be nice to always live in such a delusional world. Tell me Aunt Bella, are you feeling lucky?"

"I don't believe in luck boy." She barked, her focus down for just the smallest of moments. But it was all I needed for what I planned on doing. I silently casted three spells in quick succession at her, holding back my smirk as she was rendered motionless, unable to speak, and incapable of doing magic. The last spell I had created by myself, and while it wasn't the strongest out there it was unique which meant it would be harder to break.

"That's too bad, because I believe you just got lucky. I would end your pathetic life right here, right now. Unfortunately, you aren't mine to kill. I must remind you that if you try and harm my mother, than that changes everything. I will kill you Aunt Bella, and it will be slow."

I looked down on her still body with disdain showing clearly on my face; I twirled my wand through my fingers for a few rounds as I decided what I was going to do next. I flicked my wand towards her lazily, moving her down to the dungeons. When she was gone my mother rushed over to me, her hands running over my body and face to check for any injuries.

"Oh Dragon, are you okay?" she searched my face, her blue eyes bright with tears. "I should have let you handle it, I know that. It's just, you're my son. I believe in my heart that I will always fight for you, regardless of what it costs me." Her bottom lip trembled as she tried to press her lips tightly together in an attempt to stop herself from crying.

"Mum, I know you can take care of yourself. I'm not mad at you for what just happened. I can see that my decisions have led us to this point, and that they have placed you in danger." I pulled her into my arms, her head resting over my heart and mine on top of hers. "While I know that you would do anything to take care of me, you must know that I would be devastated if something were to happen to you. I need you to promise me that unless someone is attacking you and you can't see another way out, to not get into any fights."

"If it were for your safety-"she started, sniffling.

"No, not for me Mum okay? I'm going to keep you safe, so that one day you can be happy and free." I whispered, holding her closer. I could feel my body shaking of its own accord, and I realized that the closer the ends to the plans came the more I was losing control over myself.

"What are you doing Draco? I'm watching you fall apart in front of me and I feel so helpless not being able to help." I shook my head, pulling away from her and walking towards the window Hermione always stood at with Rose; showing her the world in the only miserable way I had made available to her. "Talk to me, please let me in." she pleaded.

I closed my eyes, trying to shut out everything. I didn't want to think about having to deal with Bellatrix next time, or wondering what she was planning on doing to my mother. I expertly avoided recalling the worst argument my best mate and I had ever gotten into two weeks ago, and how we had barely spoken to each other since then. I definitely didn't want to deal with having to go talk to Arcturus's sixteen year old sister Mira about her crazed pureblooded supremacist views; nor the minor plan to kill the Dark Lord and overthrow his bloody system.

At the top of the list of the things I would have preferred not to think about was Hermione. Worse than that was combing thoughts of her with Rosie. And the most crippling to run through my head was anything to do with Hermione, Rose, and our baby. My son or daughter that I hadn't known about, and wanted to know more than anything I had ever wanted. It made my throat drop into my stomach, and left me with a constant, deep ache that never seemed to relent.

I didn't want to pull myself out of whatever sort of funk I had, because that would mean that everything that had happened since she had left was real. If I pulled myself out of whatever mess I was stuck in, then I would have to admit that I had fucked up; I had lost the one thing that mattered the most to me. And that was it, my big problem. I had lost what I had been fighting for—after waiting as long as I did to get it in the first place, having it seemingly snatched from my arms was a bit depressing really.

"I'm sad Mother," I finally said, eyes still closed. "I'm working my arse off to do what I think is right, for the people I love, and everything is falling apart around me. I never believed in destiny, or fate; I always thought we made our own paths with whatever roads are presented to us. These last few months have slowly been breaking apart my belief however, and I'm beginning to feel like no matter what I do, the outcome that I want will never happen because its fate. Otherwise I don't understand this world, and why we're here. If this is how it's supposed to be, then why am I here?

"There's this emptiness, this blankness inside of me, and it _aches_ _all the time_. It's a constant reminder that I'm failing, that I'm not going to be worth it because _what have I done_ to be worthy? I've done nothing, and I know, and you know it, and everyone in the blasted country knows it! The only thing I've ever done is come into this world, and I had nothing to do with that either. I know you're not proud of me, I saw your face when you found out I was getting the Dark Mark, and after I got it. I understand; I disappointed myself as well that day. I know that everyone that I went to school with knows I'm a Death Eater, and they hate me for it; everyone in the ranks hates me because I'm a Malfoy and the Dark Lord's heir. I know all of this. And it kills me inside, but I have to hide it, everyday! I have to keep everything inside of me all the time so that no one can see this—me being anything but perfect—"

"No one is perfect Draco, no one ever has been either." I opened my eyes to my mother's hand in my own, her tears long gone, but a dejected look replaced them. "I know you have so many burdens placed on your shoulders love, and I am proud of you. I see that you are an entirely different person than what you show them, and I love that person just as much as I love the other, because I know you are doing everything you can do to be a great man. We've all done things were not proud of love, but as long as you work on becoming a person who learns from their mistakes then I see no reason to fault you."

She pulled me over to the couch so that we could both sit down, and I did so quickly. Destroying my office, fighting with Bellatrix, and letting everything out had really taken a toll on my body.

"I'll be fine mother; I just need some time to myself is all." I sighed, suddenly feeling completely exhausted. I had been blocking, or rather attempting to block, all of those things in the first place for a while now.

"And you haven't lost her. You'll find her again, and do things the right way I'm sure. Everything will work out for you—not because it just falls into place, but because you're willing to do anything to make sure it does. And _that's_ what makes you worthy love." She kissed my cheek before patting my hand fondly, making her way out of my rooms.

"What am I doing?" I groaned once I was sure she was out of the room and I was alone. I sat there for a while, trying to collect my thoughts and self before heading over to her library and making myself at home at the desk. I tapped my wand against the bottom of the wood three times in a diagonal pattern and the top of the surface opened up to reveal a secret compartment three inches deep and ten wide.

Inside was all of the research and work I had done so far on the spell I had used on Hermione in the first place, and the book itself. It was technically an old family member's journal, but I had found a lot of quite decent spells and potions in them growing up. I pulled them out and flipped through the parchment I already wrote on until I came to the most recent breakthroughs, looking them over with a new intensity. If I couldn't concentrate while Hermione, Rose, and the baby were gone, then I would just have to find and bring them back as quickly as possible.

I had tried to explain to Arcturus the basic theory behind this particular tracking spell, but he couldn't really comprehend it all the way. He was very interested in this part of the spell however, so I was working on separating the spell so that you didn't have to give the potion to someone in order to find them. I looked at my watch and frowned, the reason why I had destroyed my office when I did was because Arcturus was supposed to be meeting me today at two in the afternoon; I had begun the rampage knowing I would have enough time to have it cleaned up right before anyone came to see me.

"I went to your office first, and your elf had a panic attack when I stepped in and she hadn't finished cleaning it yet. What in Merlin's name did you do?" his voice sounded amused, but there was a hint of worry underneath.

"I needed to vent, and while I do so love to watch our Dark Lord torture people for his own amusement and therapy sessions, I prefer to take out my anger and frustrations on inanimate objects." I raised a brow, daring him to ask me anything more about my office.

"Well that's relieving, I was worried you would be into all of that as well, what with you being his heir and all." He said dryly, a small smile on his face.

"Aren't you clever today." I bit back, offering him a miniscule smile in return.

"Yes, I like to think that I am all the time actually. It's a talent of mine, runs in the family I'm told." He winked at me before sitting down across from me, looking at my notes eagerly. "On to the important things. Have you come any closer to dissecting the spell so that you can not only track Hermione, but whoever you want?"

"It doesn't work like that Cousin. I can't just pick a person and suddenly find them by saying a spell."

"Then what good is it to us?"

"This spell will help us find anyone that we're connected to." I felt myself relax as our conversation continued. It made me feel so much closer to getting back on the right track.

"What do you mean by 'connected'? Can it be my Mum, my brother or sisters, a lover?"

"In a sense, yes. It's the people you know the best. When we use the tracking spell, it's like we pick up a string. At the far end of that string a being is moving, existing, still connected to the track that we gaze upon. The movement is still contained in that track, along with the smallest of external and internal details. As we follow these tracks, we begin to become the very person we're tracking. Do you understand so far?" I asked, pausing when I saw the look on his face.

"Well, I think I do. In theory possibly. Finish the rest of the explanation." He had an intense look on his face, which made me appreciate him even more. While spell theory and conduction wasn't his strong suit, he would work at it until he understood what he needed to.

"Our awareness expands from the person we have become to the landscape he or she is around and is interacting with. We feel the influence of all things that surround us and our awareness expands from our consciousness to the mind of the person and finally back to us. In tracking and awareness, then, there can never be a separation. One without the other is but half a story, an incomplete picture, thus an incomplete understanding."

"So you're saying that basically we have to be able to feel out the other person's emotions and thoughts, basically their core existence. By feeling this out against all the others out there, we create a link to the other person that, long story short, allows us to figure out where they are without them even realizing it!" he jumped up as I nodded in approval and I let out a satisfied smirk with our progress.

"I suggest that we practice doing this with each other first, so that we can tell each other what we experienced while we were attempting to make the connection. That way we can figure out what we need to work on." He made a few notes on his own parchment before grabbing a few books down from the shelves and settling down to do some studying of his own.

I was just needling through some finer points of the spell when Arcturus cleared his throat, which made me raise my head to meet his expectant gaze.

"Is there something else?" I frowned, completely forgetting what I was going to add.

"I know how it feels to lose the one you love. I lost my fiancé when I had to take the mark, but I had my family to lean on, and I wasn't under constant scrutiny from everyone. If you have anything you need to get off of your chest, or you need to rant, or just talk or do something then I wanted you to know that I am here for you, as your family and your friend." I could only stare at him for what would probably be deemed as an inappropriate and uncomfortable amount of time before I shook my head.

"I'm fine, but thank you for your concern." I made to go back to my work but he stopped me by closing my book.

"Seriously, don't hold it in little cousin. It will end up being your downfall, and if you win, then I win. So please, give me something, however small." He insisted, his hand still keeping my book firmly closed. I sighed and let go of the cover, deciding to let him have his way.

"What do you want me to say Arcturus? She's gone, and the world still turns, the sun sets, I close my eyes. I breathe in a whole universe of her; us, our family until the sun rises, and I open my eyes. And she's not here, I'm alone. That's it. End of story." I glared at him until he removed his hand from my book, and then I quickly got back to work, not wanting to see any sort of pity or sadness or smugness at my obvious weakness.

"If it wasn't for you being a Death Eater with no feelings and all, I would say you should pursue a career in literature or poetry dear cousin. You have a gift with words." I couldn't stop myself from looking up or laughing with him as we stopped being old men for a minute and allowed ourselves to act our age.

"And _you_ are a cheeky bastard!"

_Alright, so there is chapter fourteen! Sorry, I really wanted to lighten the mood a bit at the end because this chapter was kind of depressing for me to write. As always, please leave me a review or a message. And once again, if you want to follow me on tumblr for posts about SNM updates and characters and sneak peeks to chapters then you can find me at ! Sorry again for the late update, but I did it __ Love you all!_


	15. Chapter 15

**Sigh No More Chapter Fifteen: Well, hot & heavy, pumpkin pie, chocolate candy, Jesus Christ, there ain't nothin' please me more than you. Ahh, home. Let me come home. Home is wherever I'm with you.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**A/N: **_**Hey guys' so if you would like to have a clue as to what is going on, check out my profile page here and it will explain everything. Also, there is a link to my Tumblr page there as well, and if you guys have any questions, I have a Tumblr app for my phone so I get those notifications faster than I do if you ask on here **_____

I woke up that morning to Rose pulling on my hair and a smile on my face, my heart feeling lighter than it had in ages. I took in the way the sunlight streamed in the window and pooled at the top of my daughters red-brown hair, framing her head in a beautiful crown of light. I ran my fingers over her head softly to smooth the mess down, and pulled her in for a noisy kiss. She slept with me just about every night now, and I loved waking up to her. Sometimes she reminded me so much of Ron, even at such a young age.

"Good morning love," I hummed, picking her up and taking her to the changing table. We had been at Ginny's—ours now as well—home for a month now, and I was just barely starting to show. Ginny was only two months ahead of me at five months, and she was glowing as she danced around the house. "Look at that pretty little smile, and those pretty little eyes, and that yummy looking tummy!" I laughed, blowing a raspberry on her chubby baby belly. She screamed in laughter, waving her arms and legs around wildly in her excitement. I shook my head at her silly antics and picked out a pair of shorts and a blouse for her, July was excruciatingly hot this year.

"Did you want some frozen yogurt for breakfast Mione? Poppy says it's healthy for the baby, and I'm about to run to the shop with James." Ginny knocked on my door, her long red hair piled up in a messy bun to help keep her cool.

"Oh, that sounds perfect! Would you mind waiting a moment while I got ready?" She shook her head and held her arms out for Rose.

"I'll take her so that you'll be able to get ready faster. We'll just be waiting in the car." Rose wiggled out of my arms to get into her Aunt Gin's and I turned to my closet, picked out a simple dress so that I could stay cool. I hurried with the necessary morning hygiene routine, giving up and using my wand on my hair instead of the brush, and hurried to the car to find Ginny just putting on her seatbelt.

"Sorry, my hair frizzes like crazy in this weather." I huffed, putting on my own seatbelt. "How far away is the place?"

"It's in the city, so it'll be a bit of a drive. Luckily I was able to purchase a muggle copy of Babbity Rabbity for the showing screen so those two monsters back there will be distracted." She tickled James and Rose before pressing play on the mini tv, giving me a quick smile.

"You're getting really good at being a muggle." I told her, trying to stay focused on the present. Ginny had commented lately that I had been spacing out recently or that I looked sad, so I was attempting to put any worries for my wellbeing out of her mind. She had enough to deal with without having to look out for me as well.

"Yes well, luckily Harry wrote me a long list of do's and don'ts and I watched a _lot_ of programs to get the hang of things. But James is safe and happy, which is all I need you know?" I nodded my agreement, but we both knew she was lying. She wanted Harry to be with her, to actually be her husband and James' father; she knew that this was not the life she had dreamed of when she was a little girl.

"I've been working on developing some spells that should help counter the ones that the Death Eaters have placed on certain things. I know that my place is now with my children, but I can't stand the thought of not helping."

"I know what you mean. I wanted to fight you know, very badly. I wanted to be out there with my family protecting what was right and defending the innocent." She shrugged her shoulders to make it seem like it was no big deal.

"Why didn't you? I don't think I've ever seen you fight back besides the Department of Mysteries fiasco." I wasn't being judgmental, I was sincerely curious. I know that even after I was pregnant with Rose I wanted to continue to fight, to help make the world a better place for her.

"Because Harry needed something to fight for more than I needed to fight." She admitted, her whole body relaxed.

"You mean you gave up fighting for Harry? Because he asked you to?" I questioned, unable to wrap my mind around the fact. Ron had asked me numerous times to stay out of the fighting and I hadn't listened.

"He never asked me to not fight Hermione." She took her eyes of the road for a moment to find me watching her closely. "I decided not to fight because while I had plenty to fight for, Harry had nothing but his own life. Of course he has revenge for his parents and loved ones, but if I hadn't of loved him, let him love me, had his children, the only thing Harry would be fighting for right now is the dead. And no one fighting for the dead is fighting to live." We were silent for the rest of the drive into town; the only noise came from Babbity Rabbity and the children's laughter.

_Everything was silent and still, the world seemed to hold its breath as I kneeled in front of the body of my husband. My own breathing was shallow and harsh, strangled mewls and cries escaping from my throat as I questioned my own life right here, right now. His eyes still open and staring blankly at the matching blue above him and I couldn't look away. I couldn't bear to look away because this was it, when Harry came back for us he would take Ron away, and then it would be real. I wiped my tears away furiously, they were blurring my vision—blurring my love. There was something inside of me that hoped beyond reason that I had seen it wrong, that he was only stunned and would wake up soon. His mouth was upturned slightly at the corners, as if he was satisfied with what he had done or had happened, and I just knew that couldn't be true. _

_ And then the anger that completely overtook me when I realized that he left me alone. He had promised me forever and didn't even make it to 20. Holding his face with my hands, I stared into those empty eyes and pressed my forehead to his, the tears falling from my face to his created the illusion that he was crying with me. I was feeling too much, and not able to think at all. My emotions were overwhelming me, and all I wanted was to feel his arms wrap around me and hear his voice tell me that it's alright, that he's fine. _

_ I moved so that I was stretched out next to him, placing my head on his shoulder like I had done so many times before. I took his left hand and placed in on my stomach, my own hand resting on top and keeping it there. He was still a bit warm, still felt exactly like my husband did this morning when we woke up. _

_ "I can't do this without you Ron," I whispered through my sobs, trying to choke them back enough to talk to him while I still could alone. "You don't get to leave me—us. We needed you. And you...you promised that you wouldn't leave. And it all happened so fast and I didn't get to say goodb-" I couldn't finish my sentence as the tears rushed back with a burning force, and my cries escaped my mouth, stopping all words from coming out. I shook my head and clenched my fists together in an effort to pull myself together, positioning us so that I could now look into his eyes, see his face. _

_ If his eyes hadn't of been so...dead, I might have been able to pull it off without crying. Instead, I followed the tracks my tears made on his face with my lips. Slowly making my way to his eyes before I closed each one gently, my body shaking from my silent sobs and pain. I kissed each eyelid, pausing for a moment to push back his hair I let out a shaky breath before I placed my lips over his own, now cold. I held them there as I cried through it, holding him to me as I shook my head. _

_ "No." was all I could say now, over and over. As if this word was a spell of its own and I could bring him back to me just by saying it enough. "I love you, I love you so much. Please come back to me, you have to come back." My hands had tangled themselves in his hair and I let go of it suddenly to move away from him so that I could hold onto myself. He wasn't coming back, and all I could do is scream silently at the sky. _

_ A hand on my shoulder made me jump slightly but I couldn't bother myself to care who it was. He was dead and I was here, staring at his body. _

_ "I'm so sorry Hermione." Harry's voice was choked, and I knew he was mourning for his best friend while trying to comfort me. _

_ "You...you should be with Ginny right now." I managed to get out, unable to look at him. _

_ "Ginny, she needs to know that you don't blame her for this." After a long pause he sighed. "I need to know that you don't blame me for this." And suddenly I was beyond furious at them for asking me this so soon, of not giving me my chance to come to terms in it my own way. _

_ "You don't get to ask me this right now Harry, and I'm telling you to leave me alone with my husband right now, or I swear to whatever cruel, uncaring, awful being that's up there I will curse you." I snapped, whirling around to see him step away from me suddenly, hands extended in front of him in surrender. _

_ "You shouldn't be alone with him right now." He urged, green eyes shining with tears. He looked from me to his best friend and back again, and seeing the look in my eyes vanished with a 'pop'._

_It seemed like forever that I just looked at him, remembering everything. How we had first met on the train while I was looking for Neville's toad, him hating me because I was a 'know-it-all', the Yule Ball—I even thought back on his time with Lavender Brown, as much as it sickened me at the time. A fluttering kick in my stomach brought me back to the present, and I wanted nothing more than to find the time turner I used to have and save him. _

_ "I love you more than anything, and I will never love someone as much as I have loved you besides our child. You've given me so much, and I'm so sorry I couldn't stop this from happening. I promise you revenge, and I promise to never, ever forget you." _

"Alright everyone, were here!" Ginny sang, breaking me from my thoughts. My eyes were stinging and I closed them tightly to get rid of the tears, giving my sister-in-law a smile of reassurance when she looked at me with worry.

"Just a bad memory is all." I waved it off and took Rose from her car seat, making sure to grab my purse and her bag as well. "Did you like Rabbity?" I attacked her face with kisses and she squealed, opening up her mouth so that she could place a slobbery open kiss on my chin.

"You love being a mother, don't you?" Ginny pointed out as we made our way into the frozen yogurt store.

"I do, I really do." I admitted, looking at the selections in front of me. Roses favorite fruit were strawberries, so I got her Strawberry Sorbet and White Chocolate Raspberry for myself. "Did you want to go to the park to eat these?"

"Yeah, that's actually a great idea. James is getting pretty good at walking about, and Rose is starting to have a go at it and the grass would be a safe place for them if they fall." We made our way a few blocks down to the park, which was surprisingly full for such a hot day. Ginny stealthily conjured a blanket for us to sit on and I laughed at how enthusiastically Rose and James ate their yogurt.

"Mo! Mummy mo!" James demanded, reaching his spoon into Ginny's cup when she offered it to him.

"I think it's so cute that he can say a few more things besides 'Mummy' and 'Da' now. I can't wait for Rose to start talking."

"Yes well, with your DNA it shouldn't be much longer." She smoothed her son's messy hair back lovingly before cleaning up his face.

"You've forgotten that she also shares half of your brothers DNA as well." I teased, which made my heart clench as I thought about Ron.

"Maybe she'll be brilliant _and_ an excellent quidditch player then." She offered to watch the kids while I threw away our garbage, and I slowly made my way up. Even though I was only three months, I was already larger than I was with Rose. Poppy had assured me that this was normal for the second pregnancy when the body is already accustomed to the changes that it was going through, and that getting back in shape could be easier or harder depending on if I ate and exercised properly.

When I finally found a garbage can I realized I had to pee quite badly, so I found the parks public bathroom and was grateful that there wasn't a line. I made my way inside and quickly did my business, glad that the room wasn't roasting as I had originally thought it would be.

I was looking in the mirror while I washed my hands when a movement in the side of the mirror caught my eye and made me turn.

"You seem surprised to see me Granger." Draco smirked at me, everything about him screamed 'money' and 'power'. How in the world did he get in the woman's restroom without someone noticing? I must have asked the question aloud because he answered. "You've been living like a muggle for too long. A simple disillusionment charm works just fine, especially in a muggle setting."

"How did you find me?" I scowled, mentally running through a list of spells and charms that could help me get out of this situation quickly.

"That is quite a long story...but in short I was able to create a spell that led me to where you were."

"That's not possible." I scoffed, raising a brow in challenge.

"On the contrary, I made it so." He pointed his wand at me and I frowned, needing to know if he could track anyone.

"Is the spell just for me? Would you be able to find Rose?" I cursed our decision to go to a muggle park. I wouldn't be able to send a Patronus to warn Ginny to get out of here with the kids.

"I'd be able to find her because she's a part of you." He shrugged and I ran a hand through my hair in frustration.

"How many people are with you Malfoy?" at my question his smirk grew, and I knew there was no way out of this.

"I have enough people to get you and Rose where I want you and where you belong. I'm prepared to make you a deal however." He stepped closer to me and his eyes dropped to my stomach.

"You promise to never try and leave me again, and I'll let Potters family go." I narrowed my eyes at his offer, untrusting.

"Wouldn't your lord be angry at you letting that much leverage over Harry go?" I got ready to use the spell '_flipendo'_ in my mind; I didn't want to alert him to my plans of fighting back by touching my wand. There was a slim chance that he knew about my ability to perform wandless magic, but this plan had the highest success rate in my mind.

"He wouldn't have to know anything about this. I'm quite good at keeping secrets when I need to." He took another step closer to me and I moved back, still on my guard.

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" Just then the door opened and Ginny was brought in, Zambini holding James and a man I didn't recognize holding Rose. Once the door closed behind them Ginny grabbed her son from the man's arms and hurried over behind me.

"Ginny, I want you to leave now." I told her, eyes on the man who was holding my daughter.

"What? No! I can't leave you." She looked at me with wide eyes, and I knew what I had to say to get her to go.

"You remember what you told me in the car?" I waited for her to nod her head yes. "That is more important than I will ever be. We both know it. So I'm telling you to leave, and I need you to do it now."

"What about Rose? Do you...do you want me to take her?" When Draco moved in front of Rose and blocked her from our view I shook my head.

"No, he can find you through her. I don't know how yet, but I'll figure it out. Leave." Tears filled her eyes as she hugged me tightly for a moment, I took the time to kiss James' head and tell them both that I loved them.

"I'll see you again, wont I?" she wasn't looking at me however, but at Draco. I didn't bother to look away from my family to see his response, and I saw the challenge in her eyes to whatever he was saying.

"Of course, now go." She made her way out of the bathroom quickly after that, and I was glad. Harry wouldn't be heartbroken over the kidnapping of his wife and children.

"You tend to make promises you can't keep." Draco motioned for the two men to leave us alone and stalked me to a corner.

"I didn't promise her anything. Sometimes it's easier for a person to say goodbye if they think there's going to be another hello someday." I revealed, glaring at him. "Could you please give me some space?"

"No, I don't think I can." He informed me. He brought his hand up to my face, brushing some hair out of the way before tracing my jaw slowly. I wasn't expecting his other hand to come up and feel the small curve of my stomach, and I definitely wasn't expecting to hear him sigh in relief. "You kept him."

"Or her." I shoved him away from me roughly, quickly making my way to the other side of the room. "And what kind of person do you think I am?"

"Someone who wants nothing to do with me." He motioned to where I was standing and ran a hand through his hair.

"If we're going somewhere can we just go? I'm getting tired."

"Are you feeling alright?" he asked, concerned.

"Don't act like my husband. Don't act like you care. No, I'm not alright. And now im don't talking to you." I threw open the bathroom door, grabbed my daughter from the strangers arms, and gave him the hardest look I could manage under the circumstances. "The next time you touch my daughter without my permission I will feed you your genitals. Clear?"

"Flying Circe, wha-?" he began, and Blaise wrapped his arm around me in what could be deemed a very uncomfortable one armed hug on my behalf.

"Oh, don't mind Granger here Arcturus. She can be a bit cranky when she doesn't get her way." He pulled away and grinned at me. "She's harmless really, wouldn't hurt a fly."

"Which is why I managed to escape from _you_ without my full magic, with a six month old, and pregnant." I growled at him before turning back to Arcturus. "I don't know who you are and I don't care. But I'm Hermione Granger-Weasley, best friend of Harry Potter and brightest witch of our age. I won't hesitate to protect what's mine."

"She's terrifying when she's preggers. Pansy turned into an angel, and Hermione in the devil." Blaise stared at me in horror, eyes wide.

"Well, we kind of are kidnapping her. She seemed really nice before all this started." Arcturus defended me, and I shook my head.

"I'm not!" I insisted.

"Merlin." Draco groaned, looking for the entire world as if he were dealing with a bunch of children he could barely tolerate. "Granger, this is my cousin Arcturus Black."

"Do I _look_ like I care about meeting your bloody cousins? If you're going to take me somewhere I suggest you do it now before I apparate away." I knew I was acting immature, but I didn't care. I was once again ripped from my family and was going to be back in that manor with that monster who wanted my child. I was threw being nice and compliant, and I wanted him to know that. He wanted me, well, this is what he gets.

"The bloody devil." Blaise muttered under his breath, and I shot him a nasty shocking jinx for his troubles. "Ow!" he yelped, rubbing his thigh to get the blood circulating again.

"Don't swear in front of Rose." I ordered.

"but you _just-_" at my glare he shut his mouth, and Arcturus laughed.

"You sure know how to pick one cousin." He said, patting Draco on the shoulder. I looked at the two of them in disbelief before, to my utter dismay, bursting into tears. "Oh sweet Circe, why are you crying? Don't cry please, I didn't mean anything by it."

"Pansy cries all the time now, over anything. It's a pregnant thing, or so I'm told." Blaise reassured his friend, which only made me more upset. I'm sure under normal circumstances I would be strong enough to not show any emotion besides anger to my captors, but anyone would feel overwhelmed if they were being held against their will.

"I want to leave." I told Draco, wiping my eyes as best as I could.

"Would you give Rose to Blaise? I don't want to apparate with both of you." After a moments deliberation I did as he asked, and after a few seconds of tingling I was pulled into the travel of apparation.

As soon as we landed I threw up on the floor, Draco helping me to my knees so that I was closer to the ground. He rubbed my back with one hand soothingly, and with the other held my hair back for me.

"Should we have apparated with the baby?" he fretted, which would have been amusing and possibly cute if I wasn't so aggravated and puking in his main rooms.

"It's fine every once in a while as long as the baby is developing properly. The less you apparate the better." Blaise informed him while I dry heaved for a few more minutes. A cup of water was placed in front of me and I drank it slowly so that it wouldn't come back up. Draco flicked his wand towards the mess on the ground and it was gone, the smell no longer making me gag.

"Is the baby developing properly?" he asked me, icy blue eyes trying to hide their worry and doing a poor job of it.

"Yes, the baby is fine. What time is it?" I looked around for a clock anyways, not expecting them to answer me.

"A little after 11:30, do you need some food?" Draco was hovering next to me, too close for me right now. I could smell the polish he used for his broom and it was making my head swim.

"I need to feed Rose." I started to look for the bag I had packed before we left this morning, and then realized they probably hadn't of grabbed it. "Tassie."

"What can Tassie do for Missus Granger?" the little elf curtsied to me deeply before jumping from foot to foot in her excitement.

"I need some mashed fruits and vegetables for Rose. She loves strawberries, carrots, potatoes, and apples. Also, a warm bottle of low fat organic milk please."

"Right away Missus Granger!" she exclaimed before disappearing.

"Why don't you go rest Hermione, I'm sure between the three of us we can feed Rose." Blaise offered, looking at the other two men for encouragement. I was about to object when I saw the way she held out her arms for Draco to take her, and I submitted.

"Fine. But this doesn't mean I like any of you, or that I'm not angry." I warned, heading to the bedroom.

"All of your things are where they were before. Sleep well." Draco called after me. I threw a hand back to motion that I could care less, and closed the door behind me. Looking around the bedroom I had slept in for three months I sighed.

"Here we go again."

**Alright, here is chapter fifteen. So sorry for the wait, there has been so much stuff going on in my life. I hope you all enjoyed it, it was really hard for me to write from Hermione's POV for some reason. I'm hoping to have Draco's POV out before Christmas, so please review! Also, once again I would like to invite all of you to follow me on Tumblr. I'll be posting sneak peeks to chapters to tide you all over until they come out, and answering any questions will be faster. Hope everyone is having a wonderful break so far. I'll save my happy holidays for next chapter. **


	16. Chapter 16

**Sigh No More Chapter Sixteen: Some people are scared to see What's happening frequently But I would never shy from a fight Heartbeat with a high demand  
>Often will go hand in hand but I'm sick of just starting plans; I wanna spend the rest of my life<strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

_**A/N: Hey lovelies, I hope everyone had a good Holiday(s)! I was able to get a day off of work to spend the 24**__**th**__** with my family luckily, and since I cant sleep I decided to try my hand at whatever Draco's thinking. I'm hoping things will escalate from this point on, but you never know. While reading other fanfiction I have come to the conclusion that I am failing you as a writer, and am going to be working through some stuff to make SNM much better than it is. I hope you all will be patient with me, as I am going to try and up the word count/page numbers for each chapter I put out. **_

_**Thank you for your continued support, it means so much to me. Reading and writing has never failed me, and I hope that I can return the favor. **_

Seeing her had taken my breath away. I had followed her into the bathroom with every intent on just scooping her up and taking her back to the manor, but when I saw her looking in the mirror trying to fix her hair my eyes had taken in every inch of her. And when my gaze drifted down her body they saw her stomach for the first time, that soft mound that extended out was holding our child. My son or daughter. A tiny being was being created in there, and I was overcome with emotions.

I was angry at her for leaving, for even trying to take my child away from me. I was happy that it hadn't been a mistake, that she really _was_ carrying our baby inside of her. A hot, almost painful burn in my chest made me catch my breath again because she had _kept our child_. I had forced her into this situation, and she could have taken the steps to abort the baby, but she _hadn't_ for some reason and I had never been more thankful for anything in my entire life.

I couldn't just grab her after I realized that, and so I had talked to her. I studied her features as her brilliant mind searched through all of her options, and a small smile tugged on my lips when I noticed a softening in her eyes as she in turn studied me. I knew that she was mad, and that she thought I was the enemy, but another part of me was thrilled with the fact that she felt something for me.

Something was better than nothing. I could work with something. I could change that something into a visible, passionate love. I could create a family from this, and I was more determined than ever to make that a reality.

"She didn't seem too pleased to see you mate." Blaise let out a low whistle as he shook his head.

"She was." I replied calmly, Rose nestled in my arms. She reached up a chubby hand and placed it against my cheek, curling her fingers as if she could grab ahold of my face. I turned my head and caught her hand with a few scattered kisses, and the outcome was beautiful. Her clear blue eyes shone and she let out a distinct laugh, which was soft and almost had a certain 'hum' to the quality.

"What are we going to do?" Arcturus watched me with Rose, his face a mask, but his eyes couldn't hide the fact that he was worried. I had been less than helpful in the month that Hermione had gone, and while I was more than capable of hiding my feelings from important people our plans were falling behind schedule.

"Tassie is going to feed Rose and put her down for a nap," I paused when Tassie showed up and carefully passed on my...step-daughter. It felt right in a way, but also wrong. I cared for this little girl more than I did about most things in my life, and while I knew that she loved me, would she change her mind when she was older and learned who had killed her father? I shook my head to clear my thoughts and turned back to my cousin. "I need you to keep looking for ways to-" I stopped speaking suddenly as I remembered where I was.

"What about me?" Blaise looked left out, and I frowned.

"Go home and spend some time with your wife. I know that the original time plan I had worked out is now well behind schedule and with Pansy and Hermione being pregnant..." I paused and took a breath. "I won't risk them or your happiness Blaise."

"Don't try and hide the fact that this is about your happiness." Arcturus' eyes narrowed, gray eyes flashing.

We were all silent for a long moment, each of us studying the others and wondering if we could pull anything off really.

"Is it so wrong for me to want that Cousin?" I questioned softly, tired of always having to wear a mask.

"Besides the fact that what you're doing to Hermione is completely selfish-" at the furious look on my face Blaise stepped in, a hand out to me in a silent plea to stay where I was.

"I know that you think that Draco is being nothing other than a Pureblood prick right now. I'm well aware of how this looks to people who don't know him as well as I do." His body was tense with his anger towards Arcturus' judgment of me, and I sent a quick 'thank you' to whatever gods had placed him in my life. "Draco has had to be someone he was not born to be since he was six years old. He was never allowed to show true happiness, or love, or kindness to anyone but his mother and eventually myself. I was lucky enough to be let in past his cold exterior, and I watched him as he watched her and slowly fell in love.

"He's done everything in his power to keep Hermione safe, alive, and happy. Do you honestly think that after two years and the entire world watching for three teenagers that they wouldn't be found? That they could possibly survive against the witches and wizards who been brought up to do this for generations, all passed down from parent to child?"

"Are you saying he helped them? He's been helping them this whole time and got away with it?" My cousin looked doubtful.

"It wasn't much really. I couldn't do a lot to help them without either side finding out. But I kept my eyes and ears open for any possible news about them, and if I heard that they were going to be attacked, I would send someone low on the totem pull in the area for some stupid assignment and they would leave before the snatchers found them. Since the lackeys were so far down on the scale of things and were never around when the Snatchers showed up, The Dark Lord just thinks that they have some sort of way to detect when Death Eaters are close."

"But...why haven't you told her this?" Arcturus looked at the room Hermione had disappeared into and back to me, a serious frown on his face.

"Because she doesn't know my plans, and I'll keep it that way. It's too dangerous, not to mention stressful, for her to be informed." I shrugged it off like it wasn't a big deal.

"But she thinks you're the enemy Draco! If you just told her you were on the same side as her-"

"I'm _not_ on the same side as her." I snapped, eyes cold as I thought of those sniveling **idiots** who had so large of a number and still could do nothing. "I don't believe in the nonsense that being pure of blood equals a being a better wizard. Hermione has shown me that this is a lie. But I do know that I am Draco Malfoy. I know that my family is one of the oldest Wizarding families alive. I am more than just some witch or wizard Arcturus, all three of us are. To deny that is pointless, a waste of time."

"Then why are you fighting against the Dark Lord? Why risk anything when you gain everything from letting him win?"

"Because I'm not a monster. And I want to laugh if I feel like laughing. I want to smile at my mother and tell her I love her whenever I get the notion to. I want to marry Hermione and have more children with her and I want them to be safe always." I closed my eyes for a moment and then opened them when I felt my feelings abate enough for me to talk about this rationally. "I want Rose to grow up into a strong woman who knows that she is worth more than what those people think of her."

"But those are all completely selfish motives!" Arcturus scowled at me. "I thought you were different!"

"I never said that I was." I replied coldly, a sneer on my lips now. He opened his mouth to speak again but Blaise cut him off, no longer trying to hide his irritation.

"Draco _is_ different. We all are doing this for selfish reasons Black, and if you think that you're not, then you're lying to yourself. We are who we are, but that doesn't mean that we're bad."

"I'm doing this for my family." He insisted, looking at the two friends now with disgust.

"Why?" Draco questioned. "Being a Death Eater wasn't a problem for you until your family was threatened. Tell me," I moved closer to him as I smirked. "How many innocent people have you killed in your service to the Dark Lord?"

"I was protecting my family!" he growled, but his eyes were filled with discomfort at the memories of what he had done.

"The Weasleys are purebloods that date back almost as far as mine. They fight for what they believe, and they fight for their loved ones. But they do it without killing innocents Cousin, and they lose the people they love because of it."

"So you're pardoning my actions?" he scoffed in disbelief.

"No. I don't have the power to do that." I sighed and shook my head. "Cousin, I understand protecting what you hold closest to your heart. I too have done things that have stained and they will forever be a part of me. But I did them and I can't take them back, nor would I if they threatened the safety of the ones I love."

"So what are you saying? How are you going to tell her that you're on no one's side but your own?" at that I lost it. Blaise stepped out of my way as I slammed Arcturus into the wall by his shoulders, holding him there with a painful grip as I stared at him in anger.

"I came to you when I noticed your predicament. I offered you a solution to save not only yourself, but your family. _I am saving you!_" I shook him too emphasize my point. "What does it matter what my motives are, as long as it gets you what you want in the end?" I shoved him into the wall roughly again just because I could, and then I stepped away. "I came to you and offered help because you are my cousin, and I held you close to my heart as a child. I admired you then. But I am no longer a child and its fast time you realized that. You don't have to agree with how I do things, I'm no Dark Lord. But you _will_ respect me." I looked behind me to see Tassie staring at the scene with wide eyes, and Rose frozen as she took in everything with those big blue eyes.

"We aren't like the Order Arcturus," Blaise broke the tense silence. "We won't hesitate to take care of a problem if it arises." The barely veiled threat seemed like a shock to my cousin, who paled considerably.

"Before you speak Cousin," I felt so tired already, and this really was just the beginning. "Look back on our times together and tell me truly, am I a Death Eater? Do you think I could turn my back on my mother, or on Rosie?"

His eyes shifted over to where Hermione's daughter amused herself with Tassie, a delighted smile on her face. Finally he sighed, running a hand over his face he shook his head.

"I'm sorry for doubting you Draco. You're not evil or cruel and I know this. I just...there's been only two sides to this war since before we were born. I didn't realize that not choosing was also an option."

"And now that you do?" I probed; half wishing I had never brought him into this. It would pain me to have to kill him, but I wouldn't chance the lives of those I had worked on protecting for so long.

"I will follow you. I thought that following the light meant hating myself for being born a Pureblood, but I see there is another way." At my hard stare he continued. "I'm proud to be of the Noble House of Black. I too know my family line, and what that means. We are better than most because we hold to the traditions that created us, which keeps us rooted and strong."

"Should I get some veritaserum?" Blaise still looked at Arcturus darkly, and I studied my cousin as he held his gaze with mine levelly.

"Yes." At his shocked look I explained. "If Blaise had just said everything you did, would you hesitate to use it on him? If it possibly meant the lives of your family for not knowing, would you let him keep his pride?"

"No." he smiled slowly then, and his gray eyes were clear. "I understand now Draco, please do whatever it is to make yourself sure of me again."

"Although, now that I think about it the vow we made will make it impossible for him to do anything regardless of if he wants to or not."

"But if he would rather not continue with us, then I would like to know now so that he can be removed from our plans." Blaise nodded before going to my office where he knew I kept a stash of potions from my godfather. When he came back I was in the middle of informing Tassie to take Rose and put her down for a nap.

"Are you ready?" he asked me, holding out the vial.

"There are a few things I need to take care of that are important. I trust you know what to do." With that I left my rooms. While I wanted to stay and reassure Arcturus that I did trust him, there were more pressing matters at hand. One of them happened to be my Aunt. That stunt with my mother made me realize that she had to go, and the sooner the better.

While I couldn't kill her outright, there were other methods to achieve my ends. The thought of killing her and taking Voldemorts second in command cheered me up, and I felt my shoulders relaxing as I walked through the manor. There were a few loitering Death Eaters that I made sure to sneer at as I passed; how dare these people come into _my_ home and act like they had any right to be there. Luckily the Dark Lord had drawn the line to Pureblood and Half-blood supporters in the house only, with the Half-breeds allowed in only for assignments and important prisoners.

Everything that I had told Arcturus was true. I wasn't a good person. I would gladly kill for those I had out it upon myself to protect, and had done so multiple times. I was plotting several murders at that very moment as I strolled calmly through my house, looking for all intents and purposes like the young lord I was raised to be.

"Finally decide to come out and play?" her voice made the hairs on my arms stand up and I suppressed a shiver.

"Aunt Bellatrix, how did you know I was looking for you?" I kept my voice bored, and the mask I had learned to wear as a child was on.

"Why would you be looking for me?" her lip was curled up in disgust but her eyes held a glimmer of curiosity.

"I was wondering if you would like to go for a walk with me, and we could discuss some things." I waited for her to decide, and she looked at me suspiciously.

"Why would you want to talk to me?" she twirled a piece of her hair in her wand, thinking.

"Here is fine as well," I shrugged. "I wanted to thank you for helping me realize my weakness."

"What?" Her hand froze for a moment before she let out a disturbing cackle. "Do you honestly think you can fool me so easily boy?"

"You can take my words however you want them. I just thought I would inform you that you were right. My mother was a dire weakness, one that as a Dark Lord could prove to be tiring."

"Why would you listen to me? I've been trying to teach you how to be a true man since your father put you under my wing." She circled me, but there was a smug look on her face that I couldn't wait to wipe off.

"And I see that. I see that you have been trying to shape me into a man worthy of what the Dark Lord is offering to me. I was proud and thought that my birthright included what I was given, and you were attempting to show me that all along." She stopped in front of me and then smiled, all of her teeth showing.

"Dragon, I have been waiting for this day to come!" She said gleefully, taking my hands in hers. "I have only wanted you to reach your full potential, and bring honor to our family name."

"I understand." I said simply, not moving my hands from hers or making any attempts to return her sentiments.

"I'm still doubtful that your..._kind_ nature has been eradicated, but you can prove that to me in due time. Come, let us find your father and share the good news."

"What do you mean you _lost _it?!" the voice whispered harshly from the shadows. I could just barely make out the silhouette of the man who was obviously in charge.

"I-I-I was w-walking and someone b-bumped i-into m-m-me. When I got b-back to my r-rooms, it w-w-wasn't i-in my pocket a-anymore!" the girl stuttered, face completely white with her fear. She was young, obviously struggling to deal with the path that fate had picked for her. She looked half starved, and when I had followed her from the Inn she had picked she had been walking with a slight limp.

I felt a bit of remorse for stealing the papers that she had been carrying, but this was important. He watched from the cover of his own making, invisible to everyone but himself. He stifled his sigh when the man's arm swung out quickly, and the girl dropped to the ground. The man made a disgusted noise, kicked the now still body, and walked away.

When I was sure the coast was clear I leaned over her and saw that he had cut her throat, and while I was sure that she had never smiled much while she was alive, she now wore a permanent smile in death.

I made my way to Blaise's house, completely drained but needing to speak with him. I had been forced to 'celebrate' with Bellatrix and my Father, who both took great joy in picking muggle children to torture. They spent quite a deal of time deciding their own victims, and waited with pointed looks as I finally did the same. While they had picked two little girls who couldn't have been more than six from a well to do family, I had scoured the area for something else.

I hated the fear in his eyes as he looked at me, how he was already too thin and shaking from hunger. I thought of someone harming Rose or my unborn child and had to close my eyes for a moment to stop myself from getting sick. The boy had asked where I was taking him, and I had looked at him with a weight of dread in my stomach.

"How old are you?" I questioned instead.

"11 sir." His eyes were dark, his face covered in dirt smudges.

"Where are your parents?" he looked at me and the shame in his eyes almost made me let him go. When he didn't answer I repeated the question.

"They...left me. My mum and her boyfriend that is."

"And your father?"

"What father?" he spat, but he was so small and thin and dirty that instead of sounding fierce and angry, he just sounded sad.

When I apparated with him back to the manor he started crying. The tears fell from his eyes like a constant stream, but he made no noise. And while those little girls were screaming and crying and pleading with everything I had he made not one sound. My father watched me with hard eyes, trying to see if this was real. If I was really doing this and enjoying it.

The bored look never left my face, and when I was finally able to walk away I refused to look into his lifeless eyes.

Blaise knew just from looking at me that something was wrong. I couldn't seem to find my center again, and I didn't know if he could help but I couldn't be around Hermione and Rose like this. I couldn't.

"Merlin Draco, what happened?" he pulled me inside, looked about his front yard quickly, and shut the door.

"I need you to take it away." I said after he just stared at me, waiting for my response.

"Make what go away Brother, how can I help you?" he looked worried and that made me feel sick. He shouldn't be worried about me.

"The feeling. I...I don't know how to make it stop!" I walked quickly over to his study and went straight for his best bottle of Fire Whiskey. Ignoring the glass that had been sitting next to the bottle, I opened it and felt the burning sensation down my throat and in my stomach. I drank more than I should have, and Blaise stood there in shock.

"What happened? Draco?" he took the bottle away from me when I didn't answer, and I stared at the ground for a moment as I tried to find the right words to say.

"I need Bellatrix dead. She's one of our biggest threats right now, and I had to convince her I was the nephew she had always dreamed about." I held my hand out for the bottle and Blaise reluctantly gave it back. He realized that if I was going to tell the story, I wasn't going to be able to tell it sober. "My father and her. They like to torture children. Think it's fun." I closed my eyes, but opened them when all I could see were his eyes. The tear stains on his cheeks.

"Did they make you do it too?" I looked at his face to see it held no judgments, and I could barely bring myself to shake my head.

"They didn't make me Blaise. I mean, I took no joy in the act, and I wish I never had to do it. But if I want to kill Bellatrix, I need her to trust me."

"And that meant killing a child because people like her do that."

"But what does that make me?" I demanded. I took another large drink from the bottle to stop the emotions churning everywhere. It was like I couldn't escape.

"Someone willing to sacrifice themself to do what needs to be done."

"You wouldn't be saying that if you had done it." I snapped, taking another swig.

"In case you've forgotten, I've had to prove myself as well. How do you think it would look if I had been the only man to not kill the women and children during the raids? And how many raids was I brought on because your father favors me from the other young Death Eaters?"

"Then how do you live with it? I've killed people before, but I could always justify it in my head. I never had to go on the raids with you or anyone because the Dark Lord insisted that it was a job for servants. That we were better and craftier than that. I planned deaths, made them look like accidents. And they were normally always people who had done bad things so I could be okay with it. But this? He was so small and sad and brave." I went for more to drink and groaned when I realized it was empty.

"Draco, you are not like them. Do you think that wars are won by playing fair and only going for the bad guys?" he frowned. "You're nothing like them, and the fact that you're here like this right now proves it to me. You father and aunt are certainly not remorseful for their actions."

"I keep seeing his eyes!" I shook my head as if that would get rid of the image.

"Did you pick someone who would be missed? Someone who was loved dearly? Did he have a family?"

"No." I managed to get out.

"There then. At least you minimized the damage to one person. And he won't be missed, and while I know he was only a child, how much longer do you think he would have survived on his own?"

I stared at him for a moment and closed my eyes.

"I killed a little boy who was alone, and unloved. The last thing he saw was my face, and I could only look at him as if he bored me. As if his death meant nothing to me. He died listening to two little girls screaming. Hearing my aunt's laughter. He died terrified. And _I_ did that. What if it was my son? If someone did that to my son?"

"When you have a son, if you don't end this war, he will be given to the Dark Lord. He might end up like you, but there's a small chance. What if your son enjoys killing children like his grandfather? What then?" he looked at me for a moment before holding my face between his hands to make me look at him in the eye. "I can't help you forget this Brother, however much I wish I could. This is your reminder. This is your pain to carry. And for that, I am truly sorry."

** Alright, so here is chapter 16! I hope you all enjoyed it, and please please please leave a review! As I said before I am slightly worried about my writing now, and if it's not up to par I would love to know so that I can attempt to fix it. **


	17. Chapter 17

**Sigh No More Chapter 17: Nothing is as it as been and I miss your face like hell, and I guess its just as well, but I miss your face like hell. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

_**A/N: Sorry this has taken so long lovelies—my laptop died on me and I lost all of my research and also all of the info and chapters I had saved up for this story. A lot of other things have gotten in the way, and I havent been motivated at all to write this story anymore. Good news! I am back! I dont know how frequently I can promise you guys updates, but I can promise to start updating again :) I know its not much, but I really have missed SNM, and I hope that you guys are still with me!**_

I thought that life was restricting in the Manor before my escape, I couldn't even compare my previous capture to this one. If Draco couldn't be by my side then his mother, or even Tassie, was there more often than not. For the life of a captive it wasn't bad in the least; Draco saw to my every want and need diligently, most times before I even had to ask about it. With the knowledge of how he found me I now understood that I would never be able to truly escape the new life fate had doled out to me, regardless of how hard I tried. I did not doubt that I would be able to create a spell or potion to counter act the one that he had created, if I was given the time and if I found the proper information. However, Draco Malfoy was an intelligent and obviously creative wizard, he had proven as much with this new tracking spell. He also knew enough not to tell me anything specific about his creation that would help me in locating the correct path to make a counter _anything._

I found after a few weeks that I couldn't be mad at his desperation to keep his child in his life, and for some strange reason myself and Rose. There was a small part of me that knew the reasoning behind his actions, but I couldn't find it in myself to be angry at him for it. After spending another three more months with him, I realized it would be downright cruel. He was trying so hard to please me, to keep me happy along with Rose that I didn't have the heart to be mean to him anymore. And I did admit to myself that I had missed him. I sighed as I rested my hand upon my enlarged stomach, gently pressing down until I was answered with two swift kicks. I smiled to myself, peace swiftly replacing any negative emotions that had surfaced as my children made their presence known.

"You look very content sitting there."I looked up startled as Narcissa's voice broke the silence. She had been standing in the doorway to my library, not a hair out of place on her head as usual.

"I was just thinking about the babies."I gave her a soft smile, motioning for her to come in. "They were just kicking, here—feel."I grabbed her hand and placed it over the spot the movement had come in, watching her face light up with an excitement only grandmothers share.

"They're getting strong! Such big kicks!"she exclaimed, eyes sparkling with emotions. "I cannot wait to hold them in my arms. We were blessed with two little Malfoy's instead of one! If only I was as blessed in the work of creating children as you are." I felt her sadness then, her inability to bring more life into the world seemed heartbreaking to me. The fact that I was given two little lives to safe keep when I wanted none was brought glaringly into light as I looked at this wonderful woman who wanted what I had with all of her heart, and yet here she was rejoicing my good fortune.

"I am happy to have them, but I wish you were given this joy. You deserve it more than me."I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the pain in hers. She moved her hands to cup my face tenderly, silently waiting for my eyes to open again. Brown eyes met rain blue, both trying desperately to keep the water at bay.

"I do not begrudge you this happiness Hermione dear, I share in it. My shortcomings are my own, and in you I have found the joys I have been searching. Please do not feel pain in this most wondrous of gifts that you have presented with me."she pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead, ending our conversation.

"Thank you." I whispered, wondering at how she could still be so kind to me after all I had put Draco through. After I had come back Narcissa had informed me of how greatly my disappearance had affected her son and begged me never to try again to leave him. She knew what she was asking me, but I also understood the risks that Draco was taking by protecting myself and Rose, how much he was willing to sacrifice to keep us all safe. Regardless of what I had wanted, it was now impossible. At least while things were the way they were. I would never stop trying to help Harry or defeat the Dark Lord, but my first priority had been changed the moment I had brought Rose into the world. I must keep her, and the two lives growing inside of me, safe—no matter what the cost was to myself.

"I hate to be the one to do this, but I was given orders." I looked up at her, some apprehension at her nervousness, a behavior that I had yet to encounter. "The Dark Lord has summoned you, he wishes to check the progress of your pregnancy himself, to ensure the children are growing properly inside of you." I shuddered in horror at the thought of him anywhere near my person, let alone my babies.

"I don't want to go. Can you tell him I'm not feeling well..."at her stern look I took a deep breath. "Where's Draco?" I asked, knowing her would be able to stop this.

"Draco is already with him now,"she grabbed my hand and helped me up. "It will be quick, just do as he says and say nothing unless you are spoken to. Tassie will watch Rosie while we are otherwise occupied." which was a nice way to say facing death. I could feel my heart racing as we left Draco's apartments, panic entering my mind as we got farther away from my safe haven. When we stopped outside of a door, I knew _He_ would be waiting inside, and I suddenly couldn't breathe. I clutched my chest, pushing my body into the wall and closed my eyes, struggling to calm myself. I felt Narcissa come closer to me, could practically feel the worry pouring off of her. I took deep, shaky breathes to try and ease my discomfort. My mind was not so far gone as to not realize that I was only having a panic attack, I would be fine as soon as I administered the proper breathing techniques.

"I'm fine, I'll be fine."My voice trembled, but Narcissa needed reassuring and I didn't want anyone to come across me like this. I stood up straight and pushed myself from the wall, grabbing my hands in front of myself to stop them from betraying my nerves.

"Everything will be perfectly okay Hermione, I promise. Draco would never let anything happen to you or the babies."She smoothed my hair from my face and laid a comforting hand on my shoulder. After another few moments I nodded to her and she opened the door, entering the room before I could start another attack. I had no choice but to follow her.

* * *

><p>The room was surprisingly beautiful, the walls painted in a silver shade that seemed to shimmer in the sunlight let in by the windows. I allowed my eyes to spot miniscule details, like the silk blue curtains that flowed to the floor were almost the same shade as the bottom of a waterfall and seemed to recreate the scene with the wind gently moving them. The way the room was practically empty save for the moss green couches that were placed just so through out the space, clearly using it to its potential. I was pulled out of my musings as Draco grabbed my hand and led me to the closest couch, helping me sit down. He held my eyes in his for a moment, trying to tell me that he was sorry and encourage me with warmth. He rubbed my hand with his thumb for a moment, quickly, but it was enough. Everything would be okay. I pulled forth my Gryffindor courage, squared my shoulders, and lifted my head high. I was <em>not<em> going to let them think me afraid.

There were five other people in the room with me, and while I wasn't really expecting anyone else besides the Dark Lord and Draco, it was a completely plausible group. On the couch across from me sat Lucius, his legs crossed and his eyes unreadable. He looked for all the world as if he had better things to do than be in the company of a mudblood, one that was carrying his grandchildren no less. Narcissa had taken her place beside her husband, her hand placed lightly on one of his knees, her ramrod straight back the only thing that let me know that she was uncomfortable. Draco stood to my right, at the end of where I was sitting, his posture was light and relaxed and I didn't look up at him, for fear that he would see the worry in my eyes. I didn't want to agitate him further.

My eyes zeroed in on the last family member of Draco's in the room, Bellatrix Lestrange. She was standing at one of the windows across the room, her back to me. Her hair was as wild as I had ever seen it, making me wonder if she had ever laid eyes upon a brush. Her attire, as per usual, consisted of entirely black, the sleeves she wore hid the promise I had etched onto her skin. I wondered then if she had ever let anyone else see that a mudblood had marked her perfect skin. I felt the hatred fill my body at the sight of her, and my anger gave me courage.

"Are you not going to say 'hello', Bella?"I said sweetly, narrowing my eyes as she turned and deigned to look upon me.

"I wouldn't waste my time." she spat, eyes blazing.

"Oh, but we've always had such lovely conversations."I felt my lips turn up in a sneer, my hands clench into fists.

"I remember the last time we spoke, you seemed to be quite upset over that pathetic blood traitor lying dead at your feet."she hissed, moving closer to me. I saw Draco's body tense out of the corner of my eye but couldn't stop the magic leaving my body as I flung my hand from my body, and with it Bellatrix was slammed up against a wall.

"I remember I left you with a promise. And let me reiterate. I cannot wait for the moment your heart stops beating, and I swear I will be standing over you so that the last thing you see as the life leaves your body is that which you hate most of all, and you will see the satisfaction in my eyes and know that I was the one to end your pathetic life."My hand was shaking with the effort it took to hold her to the wall with wandless, wordless magic. I raised my other hand and brought it out in front of me in a chocking motion, pure adrenaline filling me as I watched her struggle to breathe as my magic closed her airway. I was shocked out of my concentration when a hand gently lowered both of my own into my lap and held them there, causing Bellatrix to fall to the ground in an unceremonious heap. She was gulping for air on the ground, eyes wild, looking completely shocked at what had just occurred. I looked to see who had distracted me and nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw red eyes watching me with mirth.

Voldemort. He was here. He had touched my skin, and I had just assaulted his second in command in front of him. I closed my eyes for a moment before opening them to meet his unwaveringly. I would take whatever punishment he deemed upon me if I could have but two minutes to finish what I had started. As I finished my thought he began to laugh, a sound that made the hairs on the back of my head stand up and goosebumps to spread across my skin.

"You delight me!"he crowed, patting my hands with his own. "How wonderfully brilliant you are little bird!"he chuckled as he looked at Bellatrix on the floor once more, anger making her entire body shake. "To bring down my most faithful servant with but a motion of your hand. My dear boy, you have chosen the mother of your children well."

* * *

><p><em>The day was turning out to match the mood of the people gathered around the small cemetery. Rain had been falling in a steady and determined manner since the sun had dawned that morning, dark clouds rolling through the sky and blocking out any light that might have attempted to break through. Though it was dangerous for this large of a group of people, especially the specific people in this group, they gathered together grimly anyways. None of them could imagine not being here as they lowered Ronald Billius Weasley into the ground, none of them could manage to continue on without saying goodbye. I stood without the bubble of magic I could have easily created to keep off the rain, but I welcomed the chill the drops left on my body. I could feel as the water from the sky mingled with the water falling from my eyes on my face until they blended so well together I couldn't tell what was what anymore. <em>

_ There, in that brown box made of wood, there in that container was the body of the man I had loved since I had known what it was to love someone who wasn't my mother, my father, or my cousin Penelope who I saw only twice a year. In that coffin was the father of my child, still nestled inside of my own body, still safe. I couldn't bring myself to go any closer, to actually see the whole that would hold him for the rest of eternity, the fresh mound of dirt waiting on the side had worms wriggling on the surface if I looked closely enough, which I did. The tombstone at the head of the grave already bore the marks of words, too little to describe who the man resting there was. I looked at the faces of those around me, all filled with sadness at the person they had lost. But none had lost what I had, and most had gotten more than the years I had with him. Arthur was bade to talk, to say something on behalf of his youngest son who was to lie in the ground next to him, but upon standing there and looking out at the faces of those he loved, realized that the words he had prepared would not leave his throat. His face tormented, he turned to his wife, whose face showed openly the heartache she felt. _

_ Molly heavily took Arthurs place, opened her mouth to speak, closed it again when words failed her as well. Sobs wracked her body as she shook her head repeatedly, she too stared at that box as if she couldn't believe it cradled her baby boy the way she had when he first came into the world. As Charlie led his mother away from the coffin, everyone looked around, as if wondering who would be able to speak for the one they loved so much. Harry straightened his shoulders as if he would take on this burden, but I placed a gentle hand on his arm to still him. Steeling my reserve, I stood in front of everyone, beseeching them to be patient as I figured out what should be said. _

_ "I never thought I would be doing this,"I started, clearing my throat so as to be heard over the wind. "I mean, I had always known that this was a possibility. You worry over it, pray it never happens to the ones you love, but always its in the back of your head you know?"At this Molly let out another loud cry, pulling Ginny closer to her and holding her close. "I met Ron when I was eleven years old, on that first train ride to school. He talked to me with his mouth full of candy, and he had dirt on his nose, right here." I swiped at the side of my nose to show everyone, and received many teary smiles. "We didn't get along very well, but I was determined to have him as my friend for some reason or another," I smiled weakly, still recalling that desperate feeling I had as a little girl, trying to find her place in this strange new world full of magic. "Even though we didn't get along, I felt the kindness that was inside of him. I just knew that he was going to be one of my best friends. And he was. We all have our faults, and Ron knew his own well enough and strived to become a better person always. He...he loved his family...he used to talk about how it was growing up with five older brothers. 'they made my life a living hell,' he told me once." At this his brothers' shoulders sagged, their heads hung low with shame. " 'but they filled my life with so much love, so much happiness, and so many lessons that I was too thick headed to see for myself.' He loved you all so very much, and...he wanted our child to have siblings so that they would always have what he had in his life—an unwavering knowledge that there were eight people that loved him unconditionally. All of you know who Ron was, how much he loved and how many times he made you smile, or drove you insane over his atrocious table manners. _

_ "After I took his body away from danger, when I was alone with him...I thought it was a mistake. I had imagined the curse to be more dangerous than it was, in my worry I had overreacted and he would wake up any moment to apologize profusely for scaring me...but then I looked at him, truly looked at him, and saw the smile upon his lips, the peace in his eyes." I looked at Ginny then, the first time I had made actual eye contact with her since that fateful day. "He died saving his baby sister, saving his little nephew, and I know that he's much happier knowing they are safe, then he would be standing here next to me watching them buried in the ground today. We will all miss Ron...and we will all love him for the rest of our days. We will continue from this day not with sadness, but with happiness in our hearts knowing that we were given an amazing gift the day he was born, and another truly wondrous gift the day he died."I nodded to everyone before quickly taking my exit, wishing the ground would swallow me where I stood._

* * *

><p>I snapped back to reality to a blur of red directly in front of my face, and jerked back to realize that the Dark Lords face was less than an inch away from my own. Seeing the clarity in my eyes he nodded, once again patting my hands as if to comfort me. With a shock I understood that he had seen what I had been thinking, had taken part through my memories of my husbands funeral, and that he knew Bellatrix was the one to end his life.<p>

"You are very selfless, to say that the gift your husband gave was his life for his sisters and unborn child. The very embodiment of selflessness, when your own unborn child and you, were left with nothing."At his praise, I slowly extracted my hands from underneath his own. He noticed of course, and immediately returned his hands to his body. "Bellatrix, you are not to harm Miss Granger, or her child, do you understand?" he said to the woman as she moved from her spot on the ground and to the couch farthest away from me, a constant glare of hatred aimed my way. She nodded tersely to imply that she did in fact understand, but otherwise said nothing.

"Now, back to business. I've asked you here so that I myself can confirm the positive development of the children inside of you. I'm sure you've been informed of the nature of Draco's position in my ranks, but not the nature of our relationship. I look to Draco as I would my own son if I had one, and therefore look to these children as my grandchildren. Be assured that I would not harm them." his red eyes were discomfiting to say the least, especially in a face as handsome as the one he currently wore. He looked at me for a while in silence, and I suddenly realized he was waiting for my response.

"I thank you for your words of reassurance, My Lord."I said quietly, hoping that that would be enough. He deigned me with what was meant to be a kind smile but made my heart beat quicker for a moment.

"Now, onto the matter at hand. If you would but recline yourself, I would begin the examination."I swallowed nervously, but nodded and did as he asked, closing my eyes so as not to show my fear. He laid his hands upon my stomach, and I felt the tingling of his magic as he began the check up. After what felt like an eternity, but was only exactly 300 hundred seconds, or five minutes converted, he removed his hands from my stomach and moved one behind my back to help me sit up.

"Is everything progressing as it should My Lord?"Narcissa asked from her seat, giving me a small nod to let me know I did well.

"More than well!"Voldemort stood up and clasped both of his hands on Draco's shoulders, pressing their forehead together, he moved his hands to the back of Draco's neck as if to get even closer to him. "You have always pleased me my dear boy, and this I say is a reward for your hard work. You have exceeded my expectations in everything you do, so I wonder as to why I am surprised in this."

"My Lord, you praise me too much!" Draco began, trying to turn away, but Voldemort's grip was firm.

"You have not one son inside her womb, but _two!_" he practically sang in his glee, and Lucius sat up rather quickly at that.

"There are two boy babes inside?"he repeated in shock, looking at my stomach intently. I sat there stunned, a little put out that Voldemort had ruined the surprise for me. At that thought his red eyes turned to me, and he frowned a bit.

"I did not realize you had wished to keep the genders of the children a surprise Miss Granger. You have displayed your more than capable abilities in everything you do, including procreation. Know that you are the only Mudblood that will _ever _receive my praise, and also know that you are the only one under my protection. Continue with your good uses and pray that it is always so.

"Think nothing of it My Lord," I said quickly as I noticed Narcissa's white face. "you haven given Draco twice the happiness today with the knowledge that he will have two sons in three months. Please do not lower yourself to the thoughts of one mudblood."the words tasted bitter coming out of my mouth, but I had corrected my mistake. My true thoughts were hidden, my blocks in place and strong. He would no longer have access to my mind.

"Ah, how wise you are young one. Perfect, perfect!" he praised Draco again, patting his back congratulatory. "No expense shall be spared for their every want and need. Narcissa, I trust I leave this into your more than capable hands?"

"Of course My Lord!" she said at once, not the least bit surprised to be placed in charge of this matter.

"Good good, and Lucius?"he turned to the older Malfoy, a hard look in his eyes.

"Yes My Lord?"he responded, his face still a mask.

"You will treat these children as if their shit was the most precious of gold, do you understand me?"

"My Lord?"Lucius frowned, puzzled.

"I have heard your doubts at having half-blood grandchildren."Voldemort's voice was low, tinted dark.

"I have said nothing of the sort My Lord."Lucius shook his head, but refused to look anywhere close to me again.

"Of course you haven't, you're not a complete idiot."Voldemort rolled his eyes, shaking his head as if he was talking to a small child. "I've heard your _thoughts_, dear follower. Do not forgot my origins, and do not insult your son so. I will ask one more time, do you understand?"

"Absolutely, My Lord."He bowed his head, still refusing to look in my direction.

"This day has turned out to be the best! Come, all of you _must_ join me for lunch. Miss Granger, what are your favorite things? We shall dine on them in your honor!" I looked at Draco, completely confused as to what had just happened. How in Merlin's name did I get sucked into having food with this...monster?

"I enjoy steak and potatoes My Lord, with steamed broccoli and carrots, and roasted diced apples covered in honey." I finally answered as Draco widened his eyes, urging me to answer.

"And what would you have us drink with it? A wine perhaps in celebration of the sons you carry, and don't forget what you will have as well." Voldemort encouraged me with a wave of his hand to continue.

"I would suggest Bollinger Blanc de Noirs Vieilles Vignes Francaises for you all to celebrate, and sparkling cider for myself." I said after a moments thought, a bit sad that I wouldn't be able to try the excellent champagne I had heard about for myself.

"Bellatrix, I trust you to inform the kitchens of our meal plans."Voldemort turned to the woman who looked about ready to kill someone, or more specifically myself. She swallowed hard, and looked like she was chocking back vomit, but eventually she bowed her head low and left the room, no doubt to the kitchens and then to murder some poor, unsuspecting soul.

**A/N: Alrighty, so, I will be updating regularly now I promise! I hope you all liked this new update, and I will be putting a few new chapters out this week as well! Happy Holidays you all, and I swear it wont take me another year to update haha :) Also please review guys! It would mean the world to me :))**


	18. Chapter 18

**Sigh No More Chapter 18: _A jaw dropper, looks good when he walks is the subject of their talk, He would be hard to chase but good to catch—And he could change the world with his hands behind his back, oh._ **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**A/N: So, I only got _two_ reviews for the last chapter. I'm assuming I deserve it because I left you all hanging for so long, but please please please review or send me a message and let me know what you think. It has been a year since i've posted anything after all, and could really use the encouragement! Well, with that said, I hope you enjoy chapter 18!**

I couldn't keep the smirk off of my face as I observed the three teenagers interact with each other. I was once again back at Hogwarts, this time to fulfill a promise that should have been done before I became distracted with finding Hermione. Now that my mind was once again able to function properly, I had taken the day to talk to my cousin Mira Black. At sixteen, she was a young woman who held all the aristocratic beauty I'm sure my Aunt Bellatrix had grasped before madness claimed her. They were eerily similar in facial structure and body, although Mira had a light in her that had yet to be extinguished and I had told Arcturus I would do my best to ensure it never would be—at least not from a certain relative of ours.

She was at the great hall seated in the middle of two boys: Jaques Rosier and Alexi Carrow. The only reason that the three were friends I could deduce was because of their shared Slytherin House, and the fact that each had at least one older sibling serving the Dark Lord. I knew every single face of the Pureblood Families, and had to admit that at least Mira had the sense to keep attractive and intelligent company. The three complimented each other well, Mira's midnight black hair a stark contrast to Rosier's sandy brown and Carrow's strawberry blonde. Both boys were obviously in love with my cousin, who was aware of their affections and played them both masterfully.

Pansy had always told me the biggest problem of being born a Pureblood daughter was the pressure of having to find the right husband. Mira would have no such qualms from the way the three were interacting; neither boy seemed the least bit jealous when she showed the other affection, and they all looked like the best of friends. When Mira's hazel eyes happened across mine they opened wide for a moment before she jumped out of her seat and raced over to me, throwing her arms around my middle and knocking the breath from my lungs.

"Draco! I didn't know you were coming by!"her voice was soft, charming—as was her smile. I raised a brow at her unexpectedly enthusiastic greeting, but gave her a small smile none the less.

"Mira, you continue to grow more beautiful. Can you spare your boring cousin some time alone in your company?"I held out my arm for her and she took it after a thoughtful look back to her friends. Thinking back to my own past at the school, I knew that if I were in Mira's position and a person of import came to talk to me, I would want to be seen by the most possible people talking to them. With that in mind, I led us towards the lake. She squeezed my arm a bit tighter and awarded me with a brilliant smile in return for my thoughtfulness and I nodded in return, Aunt Bella was training her well.

"Did you come to Hogwarts just to talk to me? Or did you need to talk to Headmaster Severus?"she questioned, looking to all the world as if she were noticing how beautiful the grounds were on this crisp October day.

"I have sorely neglected you little cousin, and I admit it's partly because I failed to think that we would have anything in common what with our age and gender differences."I sighed, wondering how much damage control I would need to do.

"I understand Draco, there's no need to apologize! Aunt Bella told me that the family would start to take notice of me if I worked diligently and served our Lord faithfully."she shrugged off my apology and recited what Bellatrix had obviously drilled into her head.

"You know my place in the ranks of the Dark Lord?"I asked after a few moments, caught in a whim that one day I would walk with my sons on these very grounds.

"You are his Chosen One, his Heir and most loyal servant. He values you, Cousin, over any other in his service."she picked her words carefully, and they were uttered with an almost reverent awe.

"I only hope that I can forever remain that to him."I stopped us at one of the benches beneath a willow, motioning for her to sit down and followed suit once she had done so.

"Oh, I have no doubts about that! You are...amazing."she whispered, a blush tinging her cheeks. I made a note of that reaction and grabbed her hands, holding them to me in what I knew to be a familial yet could be taken for something else if one wished.

"My dear cousin, I must ask something of you, something I know might upset you at first, but would make me greatly happy."I leaned in a bit closer to her to imply that I wanted whatever I said to be kept between the two of us.

"Whatever you have to ask me, I promise I will do."she grasped my hands in her own, moving closer to me slightly as well.

"You must not, under any circumstance, tell Aunt Bella of your sister Jessa's existence."at that unexpected request, I felt her grip on my hands lax and her face tighten.

"What..."she blew out a breath and closed her eyes before staring at me with determination. "how do you know about Jessa, and why does it matter if I tell Aunt Bella?"

"I have my ways of knowing things, and you would not begrudge me for keeping them to myself. As for _why_ I ask what I do of you...bring the existence of your little sister to light, and sign the death warrant for your entire family." she paled considerably and pulled her hands from mine, her eyes traveling the distance of the lake. When she didnt talk for what was deemed an inappropriate time lapsed in silence, I sighed again. "Arcturus tells me that you despise Jessa, that you feel her blood is tainted and therefore her worth is none. I will tell you something that should have been instilled in you from your childhood, but I don't mind reminding you: Blood is the most important thing in this entire world."

"I _know_ that! Thats why I hate-"

"No Mira, the blood of your family. The blood that runs in your veins also runs in Arcturus', Altair's, and Jessa's."

"But her blood is _polluted_ by that mudblood _filth_ that married my mother! The three black children share the same blood, but the child of Coeurpur? She stands alone."she shook her head in disgust, not able to meet my eyes.

"Little cousin,"the tone of my voice must have conveyed how serious I had become about the situation, and I waited until her eyes were upon mine once more before continuing. "The blood that you share with Jessa is more important than anything you don't share. From your perspective, Jessa's life taints every person with Black blood running through their veins. Does her life taint me? Am I less because of a half-blood girl? Must I remind you that our Lord is half-blood?"

Mira dipped her head down, her long black hair now became a curtain that covered her face from me, but I could see her hands trembling as she shook her head. I wanted her to see how much Bellatrix had covered her eyes with this deception, but I also couldn't take any chances that my words would fail to reach her.

"Arcturus speaks French fluently, do you?"I asked, leaning back against the bench and crossing my legs, knowing this could take a while.

"No, I only know a little. Mother only began teaching me right before Father became sick, and after he died everything was a little crazy what with her being disowned from the family."

"Well, thankfully I also speak the language. Have you any idea what the name '_Coeurpur_' roughly translates to?"

"I don't, but I imagine you're going to tell me."she scowled and rolled her eyes, but sat beside me and waited patiently. I bit back my chuckle at her teenage characteristics but felt the corners of my lips turn up despite myself.

"Pure of heart, Mira. And your six year old sister is probably deeply hurt because one of the people that was supposed to love her unconditionally doesnt, and she's too little to understand. If you must hate someone for the half-blood in your house, then might I suggest hating your mother, or your step-father, and not an innocent little girl?"

"You're really telling me its okay to hate my mother?"at her incredulous look I shrugged.

"I'm not that much older than you, you know? Four years isn't really all that much, and I understand hate. But I place the blame where it came from, not on what I want to be angry with, or with what would be the easiest."

_"Just sit down my darling Dragon, you're making me feel anxious!"mothers voice was tense as she strained to relax while I paced her tea room floors. I let out an exasperated breath at having my thoughts interrupted for what felt like the upteenth time but did as she asked, with what she deemed to call a 'dramatic flair not seen since Shakespeare's first performance of Romeo and Juliet.' I wanted to relax, I truly wanted nothing more than that, but my mind kept drifting back to the Dark Lord's appointment with Hermione last week. I couldn't shake this feeling deep in my stomach that I had missed something of importance, something that could prove dangerous to Hermione. _

_ Besides the glaringly obvious hatred she had raised tenfold in Aunt Bellatrix, which I wanted to rant and rave about as soon as we got back to my apartments but kept quite about to spare her stress levels from rising to my astronomical height. My fathers eyes as the Dark Lord had told him to treat my sons shit like gold. I didn't even try to stop the smile that spread across my face as I recalled that moment, as it happened every time I did. _

_ The Dark Lord would have been more than insulted at the thoughts in my fathers head regarding having a half-blood in the family, let alone two half-bloods—one of whom would become the Malfoy Heir. To insinuate that having a half-blood as a grandchild, an actual part of his family who shared the blood flowing in his veins was anything less than satisfactory while he served one as Lord was almost backwards. I could only imagine that in His mind the Dark Lord believed my fathers less than enthusiastic response over my sons was a personal affront and challenge. I much preferred his curse words over his curses, of which few recovered. _

_ "Has Father said anything about his orders from the Dark Lord regarding my sons?"I asked her, very much aware that while I had been studying my thoughts she had been doing the same with me. _

_ "You're fathers had much worse from our Lord, I think he was rather thankful."she took a sip of her tea, offered to poor me another one—that I again declined—before meticulously rearranging the flowers sitting on the table between us. _

_ "Mother, what are you not saying? You only fiddle with things to avoid talking about something. Out with it."I demanded, not even close to being in the mood to patiently extract the information from her. _

_ "It's nothing for you to worry about."she tried, but at my hard look she caved. "Oh, Giant Dung! Why must you always know __**everything**__ Draco? If you truly __**must**__ know, your father is very upset over the fact that you've tainted the Malfoy line. He believes that you did this on purpose, to intentionally get back at him."she exclaimed, aiming a perfectly designed scowl in my direction for making her divulge something she didn't. _

_ "My childrens conception have absolutely __**nothing**__ to do with him! I can promise you that he was the farthest thing from my mind at the time. Although now, I can clearly see why he would think that."she shook her head in exasperation and half-heartedly threw a biscuit at me. I followed the tasty morsel as it bounced off of my chest on landed on my lap, then picked it up and used it for emphasis as I made my point. "If I wanted to get back at him, truly, I would have brought home a man."with that said I shoved the entire cookie in my mouth to hold back my smile. My mother wasn't as quick, and let out a rather unladylike snort as her laughter rang out. _

_ "You've incorrigible."she managed to pull herself back together quickly, tsking as she used to when I was younger. "But please do nothing to antagonize him further dearest, I'm asking you to do this for me."_

_ "Fine."I reluctantly agreed before grabbing another biscuit. _

I left Mira on the bench to think about our conversation, no doubt in my mind that she had much to ponder. I had also informed her that my mother would be taking over her lessons from this point onwards, and while at first she had seemed a bit off put at being separated from Bellatrix's tutelage she accepted it none the less. With that business taken care of, I made my way home.

I had thought at first to go straight to my apartments to have dinner with Hermione, but was immediately found upon my return by none other than the witch whose demise I was currently planning.

"Always a pleasure to see you, Aunt Bella."I greeted her, biting back the sigh that wanted to slip out at the sight of her.

"The Dark Lord must speak with you, urgently."she grabbed my arm and practically started dragging me down the hall. I took my arm out of her grasp and matched my pace to hers to keep her from touching me again. The Dark Lord had taken up residence in Malfoy Manor just last week, so that he could be close at hand if anything happened in Hermione's pregnancy that was unexpected. His rooms were located in the south wing of my home, the farthest from the main entryway and most safeguarded.

"I must ask, what did Hermione write on your arm? She refuses to inform me."I could tell my question angered her, but my curiosity won over my cautiousness and I pressed her when she kept silent. "Should I ask our Lord? Do you think he would illuminate me from this darkness?"

"If you _ever _speak about this to anyone again I will destroy everything you hold dear, little Dragon."she hissed, the malice in her eyes burning bright. I realized in that moment that I would have to put Bellatrix in her place, with no one around for her to see it happen but the two of us. The only thing that she respected was power, and she was about to find out that of that I had plenty. With a growl I shoved her up against the wall roughly, my wand at her heart before she could even begin to struggle. With one hand holding her throat and the other trained above her wildly beating organ.

"I'm thinking I should kill you right here, right now."at her glare I tightened the pressure around her throat and added a mild crucio to let her know I wasn't only threatening her. "I could do it quickly, here in this hallway with no one to see. Take your body to Him and explain that you tried to attack Hermione. That in my attempt to protect my sons I killed you, and he would accept that."

"He would be angry! I'm important to Him!"she managed to choke out, spittle flying from her mouth.

"You are _nothing_! I am important to him! My half-blood sons tucked safe inside their mudblood mothers womb are of more importance to him than you are! Give me one good reason why I should end your madness now."I spat, my feelings displayed clearly on my face. I had hated this woman since I was six years old, from the day my father deemed me old enough to visit my deranged aunt in her cell at Azkaban.

"I'm your blood, little Dragon. I held you in my arms the day you were born. You know, blood is more important than anything."she whispered when I released her throat just enough.

"And yet you threaten me, take joy in causing your family pain. I would not trade the life of my sons for yours."I shook my head, and at her hopeful look added another crucio. "I have proven my worth to Him, and yet you continue to test me. Do you think that your opinion is of a higher value than His?"

"_Never!"_she gasped. "I will never be even a _third_ of what He is!"

"Then trust his judgement, and doubt my place in our world no more. For this I also swear on my magic,"she closed her eyes as we both felt the tell tell tingle of my magic flow through both of us. "The next time you threaten what is mine, will be the last day you draw breath."

"I understand, Dragon."when she opened her eyes again, I knew I had accomplished what I needed. She had felt the power that was in me, and when she called me by my childhood nickname of 'dragon' it wasn't mocking. No, it was acknowledgment. I released my hold on her throat and moved away from her, bringing my wand arm down but not putting away my wand. She cleared her throat and ran a hand through her wild hair, struggling to regain her composure.

"I'm glad we could reach an understanding."I said casually, once again walking towards His quarters.

"We've kept him waiting, like I said when I found you, the matter is of the utmost urgency."her eyes were darting about wildly, her hands unable to keep still.

"Do you know of anything?"I frowned, a feeling of dread growing in my stomach.

"I was told to say nothing to anyone, including you."she paused at the door, motioning for me to go in. When I hesitated she shook her head in agitation. "You are to speak to him alone. I must go."and with that she turned on her heel, almost running back the way we came. The pit in my stomach became bigger as I watched her hurry away before clearing my mind and entering the room.

What was awaiting me was the last thing I had expected.

**A/N: Hey everyone! So this one is a bit shorter, but I wanted to get it out now since I have a billion things to do between now and christmas. Thank you so much to JanJan2009 for being such an amazing follower of this story, I hope I continue to live up to your expectations. **

**Gone Pear-Shaped: I really appreciate your review, and thank you for being honest with how you felt. I understand that your perceptions of Voldemort don't necessarily line up with mine, and I feel badly that my writing brought you out of the scene I had written. But, this is how I picture him and how he comes out in my writing. He was raised in the muggle world, and I think that that would have influenced his language in some ways as well, especially when he is angry. I can't help but feel that one swear word is nothing compared to all of the people he has tortured, killed, and ruined. Nothing is too dark for this Dark Lord, and while I would love for you to continue reading SNM, I feel that I must warn you that it's only going to get darker from here. **

**Thank you all for reading, and Happy Holidays! :)**


End file.
